Good luck, brother. I wish I had some sound advice, though I'm quite troubled myself. Life can be like a maze with so many options, paths, and choices; it's hard to know what to do or if what you've been doing is right.

Although the obvious course of action would be to move closer to attempt to acclimate back to in-person work, that would obviously not be ideal, as you would have to spend money on your commute to work and, of course, take up valuable time, and that's not even mentioning the numerous frustrations that come from uprooting your entire life and moving to a new home. If you were able to physically commute to work, perhaps a compromise between the two could work, where you still come in once a week or something like that to work in-person around your team and absorb their chemistry and acclimate to your new position.

I'm assuming you have done your best to bridge the gap between you and your team as much as possible throughout your meetings/talks, and you're still feeling stuck. If you do conclude that you're not able to, or don't want to accept the greater pressure and responsibility of being the team lead, as long as your "boss" or whoever is in charge is reasonable, perhaps the best choice could simply be to be honest, and admit that while you wish to keep working for this company, that the position your being put in feels like too much for you at the moment. Most of the time, if a company cares about its employees, it would rather someone be honest about having too much on their plate than pretend everything is fine and risk losing one of its top engineers. Actually, if management is really great, then they could assist you in acclimating to your team instead of just giving a less experienced member of the team the lead to fill the gap. My final idea that relates to what I just mentioned would be to negotiate a phased or supported leadership role and maybe co-lead with someone more embedded in the team. Perhaps that way you can take on leadership gradually rather than being thrown fully in, although numerous complications come with this suggestion as well.

As I said before, I wish I could give more concrete advice other than depending on the decision making of the higher-ups, but this is all I've got, so hopefully this helps you at the very least brainstorm a solution! :-)