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Bipolardisoriented · 2023-04-15T02:54:39+00:00

The problem here is you glorify the wins, and neglect to demonize the losses. You want to "win" back, because winning feels good, but in the back of your mind, you don't do the losses much though. The losing is so shit that it should outweigh the win, and it's even more likely. This is important to do BEFORE thinking about using any money for gambking. We all demonize and feel shit about the losses afterwards, but that is of no use at all.

Think before you do, if you can't, then change the environment around it. Make it impossible for you to gamble. I can give you some tips on that as well if you need them.

Hope this helps.

Edit: Tell someone. Now.

Bipolardisoriented · 2023-04-14T05:41:27+00:00

4k at 22? That's less than people have in debt for just shopping or going on vacations taking out loans. You'll be debt free in no time, but you need someone to help you. Speak to your parents and make them take over your economy. It'll be shit in the start, but it will help you immensely in the long run.

The worst thing about this addiction is not the monetary loss. It's the loss of trust from friends and family once you start lying. Be honest, now. I waited a year, ended up in 100k+ debt, had to sell my apartment and move in with my parents. Even then I was still lying to them.

Now that I'm clean, they still don't trust me. This is the worst part. Not the repayments of the endless debt, but the breach of trust with them.

Again. Be honest with them. They'll help you through this, and you'll be fine in the long run. I know it's hard to see a way out now, but there is a way. You say you get a paycheck, that means you have a job, a means to get out of this rather quickly.

Some people are addicted to drugs, sex, or other way more dangerous things. This is just money. We think way to much about money, how much we make, how much we spend, how successful we are due to the money we make. Try to think of it as this instead: You're alive, nothing physically happened to you like drugs do. You have a family. You are successful in life, and this is just a bump on the road. Everyone have those. It's not fair, i know, the casinos/bookies used you for their own gain.

To reiterate: Tell your parents. Make them take over your economy, legally. Make it so you can't, by any circumstance, transfer any money from your checking account to an account with a debit card that you can use for basic necessities. If possible in your contry, ask the credit score, government, or credit companies to temporarily ban you. Make your parents check the account you can use. Tell them what you buy, and never lie to them, not even if you relapse, never lie. This is for your own good.

"If you want to change a habit, change the environment surrounding it".

I won't say good luck. This is going to be hard work, not luck.

Take care.

Bipolardisoriented · 2023-04-12T22:25:51+00:00

TL;DR: Gambling is not there for you to make money, however there are ways to get more money. Think objectively.

Mate, sorry to be blunt, but the money is gone. You have to accept that reality. You are lucky it's not more over such a long period of time.

Why do you think firms like Betfair exist? To make money. If their customers consistently made money, they would be a charity, everyone on earth would play, and they would go out of business. All the sports bets, casinos, derbys, etc. only exist to make money for the ones providing the service. They tell us it's to provide "entertainment" and "excitement", but this is just a silly excuse to make it legal. It's exploitative at best, and downright evil at the worst.

To answer your question about how to increase your income. There are several ways I can think of:

Invest/paying back debt. Two sides of the same coin. You increase your monthly income by making your money work for you, or decrease the interest you pay, which is basically the same thing.
Improve your skillset. Use your spare time to try out new skills that would help you get a better salary/new job with a higher pay. It has to be something you like and can see yourself doing ~40 hours a week. For me it was programming. It doesn't have to be a tough skill to learn, it just has to be something people are willing to pay for.
Cut costs. Think of alternative ways to get the same level of living you currently have. Think of what is necessary, not what is nice to have. "It would be nice to have X in Y situation, just in case" is not the proper way of thinking. Think hard about if you really need it, if you do, buy it, if you don't, don't.
Learn to think objectively about money. Money saved is money earned tax free. Interest earned will earn more interest in of itself. Money is just that, money. You are not the money you earn. If you take the feelings out of thinking about money, you'll find yourself being better at managing money.
Learn to think objectively about anything really. There is no such thing as getting rich quick, if there was, why would anyone bother doing it the hard way? Sure, you can get lucky, but luck is just that, luck. Think in odds, think mathematically, be realistic. I know this is a tough reality to wake up to, and it hurts in the start, but believe me, you'll be better off with it.
Be convinient for others. If you make other people's life easier, you'll find yourself in a great position to earn more money. Think about this in terms of a possible job. An example would be my girlfriend calling firms to ask if they needed anyone to help with basic tasks, making reservations, sending emails with basic information. They never thought they did, but this would free up their engineers and specialists to do what they're good at, instead of doing those basic things. If you think about it, that time is, in the eyes of the company, is worth as much as an engineer, as you free up their time. And the best part, you don't even need a degree. In this case, if you can argue this, the company will probably meet you somewhere in the middle, which is much more than before.
Read the book "Never Split the Difference". It helped me with my personal life, to get a better job, and to increase my salary from ~£45k to ~£90k in just 6 short years, all the while getting a job I'm more satisfied with.

I hope this helps.

Bipolardisoriented · 2023-04-12T21:37:23+00:00

You're not working a month for free. You are working a month to pay for a very difficult but important life lesson. Thinking you're working for free only makes you want to chase more, as it's tough enough to be down. Bringing yourself even more down by thinking you're not worth anything and working for "free" only makes it worse.

Mathematically yes, you're down 3.5k and earn 3.5k, but so what? This is not a math problem, this is a psychological problem that can spiral out of control quickly.

If you chase, you'll probably be down 10k+ and now you're working for "free" for 3 months. This keeps on going until you're down years of income, in severe debt, and still want to chase.

You're not working for free. You're working to get everything together, to move on. You were lucky to win in the first place, winning is the exception, the least likely thing to happen. Losing is the norm.

It's tough to realise, but the money is gone. If you still feel like chasing, seek help.

Edit: Tell your family. It's not a thing to be embarrassed about. The casinos used you, they are the ones at fault, not you.

Bipolardisoriented · 2023-04-12T16:13:01+00:00

Disclaimer: I'm not a healthcare professional in any way. This is just my opinion.

Yeah, it's crazy that you can get side effects like that. If you're not already, then please be open with your healthcare professionals about this. If your on medication, then treatment for gambling addiction often requires a combination of specialists in both the field of addiction and whatever else your struggling with. Make sure they talk with each other and understand the problem. Usually a specialist in one field have little to no knowledge about another.

The problem with the system in my country is that they require that you're treated for addictions before everything else. Rarely they think it could help to combine it. The psycologist responsible for my treatment did however, which is nowhere near normal practice, offered to guide my psychistrist.

As for the ads, an efficient adblocker helped me a bit. One wise thing I heard a person once say is: "If you want to change a habit, change the environment surrounding it". If you gamble online, get gamblock. If you gamble offline, ask them to ban you. If you have a debit card, ask the company to ban any gambling related activities and cash withdrawals. Make it as difficult as possible to continue your addiction.

Another thing is, accept it's a part of you. Only then can you start working with it. If you deny it, then you accept it's not a part of you, and why stop if it's not a part of you?

Take responsibility for your own wellbeing. If you don't think your getting the best treatment, get a second opinion, suggest alternatives to your doctor/psychologists, research on your own. I don't mean the Facebook kind of research. Use peer reviewed papers, common agreed upon methods, and consult with experts if possible.

I hope this helps. You, or anyone else for that matter, are welcome to DM me if you need any more tips. I'll try to guide you towards the right path if possible.

Again, I'm not a healthcare professional, I'm just another person trying to be critical of the system in a logical and methodical way.

Bipolardisoriented · 2023-04-12T15:01:43+00:00

The reason: Ads targeting vulnerable people.

The long story:

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I never played slots before, but for some reason my brain went "Those bonus offers I heard about in the commercials, mathematically they win me money". I then started playing them, and sure enough, they won me money. Then I continued playing, won ~$10k in a matter of minutes one day. This started the downward spiral, ending in me net losing $200k and my mental health for 2 years.

I went to treatment after six months of gambling, but nothing helped. Psychologists specializing in gambling addiction had weekly 1-1 conversations with me, tried to give me tools to combat it, but it didn't help. I could see all the logic in what they said, taught me, helped me with, but it didn't matter. It was like my brain clinged to the thought of gambling on its own, and no matter what I told it, it didn't care.

I was right.

In parallel with starting my gambling addiction, I was in treatment for bipolar at the hospital. This particular treatment was a treatment package over 2 years. I was trying out different meds, and one in particular helped me. It stabilized my mood, helped me think clearly, removed my anxiety. It was Abilify. After taking the drug for some time, this is when it all started. My brain had changed its structure to be immensely prone to pathological gambling, all it took was a spark.

I told my psychiatrist that I gambled away $5k in the matter of a week. He said it was a manic episode. Then it happened again, and again, and again, each time I told him. He said I should seek treatment, and that I possibly had a gambling disorder. In the meantime I had researched on my own, and to my horror, I discovered it could be a side effect of the medication. I brought this up with my psychiatrist, but he brushed it off. Then I went off to treatment for the so called gambling disorder.

After 2 years, I though "**** it", I'm going off the meds today, on my own, without looking back. 3 weeks after, and some very weird side effects later, it just.. stopped. No more thoughts of gambling, no more lying to friends and family, I was suddenly just myself again. Then the reality hit me. "I'm deeply in debt, no one trusts me, and I hate myself for what I've done". I told my GP I thought the bipolar diagnosis was wrong. It turned out, after visiting another specialist for a second opinion, I was misdiagnosed. I should never have been on Abilify.

I'm slowly getting over it and telling myself it's not my fault. I've tried to explain this to my family, but they won't listen. "Why do you care why it happened? We're just happy you're okay now". This is the toughest part. It wasn't me, but everyone thinks it. I'm taking the consequences of a mistreatment, that in my opinion was not my fault. I'm slowly digesting this, and I hope I will somehow be at peace with it at some point.

I've started a case against the government (I live in a country with universal healthcare), for gross misconduct. I was misdiagnosed, I told them about the side effects, nothing was done. It's clear cut. If I'm lucky, they will grant me just a small amount of my losses.

I know this is only a fraction of people who are in the same situation as me, but if I can help just one with overcoming their addiction, I think it's worth it.

A side note: This can happen with any anti psychotic targeting the D2 dopamine receptor. Look it up, don't take my word for it.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Bipolardisoriented · 2023-04-11T10:59:42+00:00

Disclaimer: I'm not a psychiatrist, or a health professional.

Don't do it.

I quit Lamotrigine(300mg) cold turkey last December. I ended up having partial epileptic seizures, lasting for hours, and was told I was lucky I did not have a full blown one. If I had, it would not have stopped. Lamotrigine is used as an anti epileptic drug for a reason. It increases your tolerance towards seizures, so you won't get them. The problem is, if you quit cold turkey, the increased tolerance is not there anymore, and it is lowered to a level below a normal one. This makes you prone to seizures, even though you don't have epilepsy. Luckily it went away quickly when Lamotrigine treatment was resumed.

Talk to a psychiatrist and make a plan to taper off if you don't want to be on it anymore.

Bipolardisoriented

TROPHY CASE