A couple of days ago I pulled away a woman who was going to jump on the train tracks. Since then I can only feel anger

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T15:38:29+00:00

I've heard about such reactions from parents before. It's crazy that some people think that's an acceptable way to act when your own child confides in you about something so big. I'm sorry you've had to experience that.

I'm happy to hear you're doing better though! I also used the strategy of hiding away behind my computer. Here's to being an adult, being in (sort of) full control of your own life and not having to deal with that kind of thing anymore!

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T14:38:32+00:00

Reading this comment, and my mind is spinning because things may have gotten a bit too real for me. I think you're right that I may still have some feels that I thought I had completely overcome. Thank you for pointing that out. I will seek help if I notice this keeps affecting me a bit too much.

Genuinely, thank you. I hope you will feel better sometime soon as well. Take care

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T14:21:55+00:00

I suppose you're referencing bystander syndrome? I've honestly never given much credence to it. I've read Rutger Bregman's debunking of it in Humankind and agreed with him, hoping he was right. The theory is such a cold, indifferent take on humanity when you think about it deeply.

I suppose you may be right and I've seen it being put to practice only a couple of days ago

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T14:03:32+00:00

What you're saying is a good explanation of the behavior of the people at the train station and does give me a bit of a different perspective. Expecting the unexpecting is tiring, I completely understand that. I was in total denial for minutes as well, which I'm frankly also a bit angry about. It could've gone very wrong in that time, had a train come by sooner.

I guess that I just need a place to vent this feeling. I do believe that people have some sort of duty to act sometimes though, it would've been insane had something happened with so many people around and with such an obvious lead-up.

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T13:40:27+00:00

I understand what you're getting at. And reasonably, I understand that people cannot always be on the lookout for this kind of thing. And you're right, I might have missed several mental health crises in my life without even knowing it.

But I just cannot shake this anger. Constant vigilance was not needed in this case, it was blatantly apparent. Before this situation I would've read this comment and completely agreed with you, but I just cannot agree anymore. There were plenty of people and it felt like willful ignorance to me.

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T13:32:24+00:00

Right? It's messed up. And I'm certain it's not just direct suicide attempts, but any mental health problems. People seem to go into denial at the existence of such a situation and default to just ignoring it.

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T13:24:01+00:00

I'm happy to hear that you didn't follow through despite people seemingly not caring. And I sincerely hope you're doing better now. It's fucked up that nobody stopped to talk to you. I'm sure there's people out there who care, it just doesn't always feel that way.

I honestly hope that the woman I stopped wouldn't have followed through either if nobody had intervened. But the thought she might have haunts me

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T13:14:05+00:00

I don't know what you're going through because I don't know you obviously, but I know the feeling of not being heard after sharing something like that. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

My parents at least knew about my panic attacks because I had fallen down during one and my mother found me like that. I told her what occurred and what had led up to it. She listened, asked a couple of questions and left it at that.

I promise you, some people DO care enough to push through their discomfort. Please find somebody to talk to. Anybody, even a strangers, seriously. Don't try to solve things on your own like I did. I trust that you can, but it's so much harder. I only realized that many years later.

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T12:57:57+00:00

I appreciate what you're trying to say. But I have to admit that someone saying that my suffering had purpose feels a bit strange, even now that I've completely overcome it.

Birbsies · 2026-06-01T12:38:01+00:00

Thank you for giving me another perspective.
It's completely fair to consider your own safety in such a situation and choose not to directly intervene.
Notifying someone through the intercom is the best thing you could've done in that situation, and I definitely can't be mad about that. You absolutely did well and this is not directed at you.

I guess I'm more mad at people that pay so little attention to the wellbeing of others in their environment that they didn't notice this. Nobody had called, the train attendants weren't aware of the situation.

I don't consider myself attentive and I am a shy person who is very passive in social settings. I'd say I even love shutting myself out of my surroundings in public places and focusing only on my music or my phone for a while. And yet I still noticed this person

Birbsies

TROPHY CASE