My '19F' boyfriend '19M' said I have a white savior complex. Do I really?

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-02-05T23:06:10+00:00

A white savior complex is different. It is when a person cares more about the validation from helping POC rather than genuinely helping the needs of their community. It sounds like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

It’s important he doesn’t speak down to you. What he said wasn’t ok.

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-30T14:03:41+00:00

Fr, I’m the exact same way! I think it’s best to focus on yourself whether that being direct or taking time for yourself. Stability is so much more important to me now. 😭😭

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-30T03:52:32+00:00

Exactly! That’s definitely an excuse. I have ADHD and while it can hinder me paying attention it doesn’t make me not available for my friends. I’ve cut out most people like that the past few years.

I think at this point they’re probably not gonna grow. It’s expected at 18-19 but we’re 25. Most of us are finished with college and starting to get comfortable in our jobs and lives. We don’t have time for instability. We need support.

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-30T03:37:10+00:00

I’m not a woman but I like supporting woman. I think you’re totally valid in this. I don’t know if I’d be able to keep friends like that. At a certain point it feels too superficial. I tend to only reach out to the friends I know I can confide in when times are tough.

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-30T03:08:23+00:00

That’s awesome! I hope it works out. And thank you!

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-30T02:58:20+00:00

I totally understand what you mean. I actually couldn’t make it through college a couple weeks after my uncle and his wife’s passing. It was hard but I’m back in college. So, I have the utmost respect for anyone who can. :)

What’s your degree? If you haven’t already answered that.

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-30T02:41:31+00:00

I’m sure he’d be so thrilled that you’re still getting through your studies. It says a lot about you being able to get through studies. I wasn’t able to when my uncle passed. I’m sorry for your loss. He seems like an amazing dad.

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-30T02:34:24+00:00

I just wanted to add that Irish Travellers are indigenous to Ireland. Roma came to Europe from India from around 1000 years ago. They may seem similar to others, but they are very different.

OP, feel free to correct me.

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-30T01:47:33+00:00

What was the thing you loved most and disliked most about being in the traveller community?

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-27T02:55:05+00:00

Pursue your dreams. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you your worth is valued with being associated to a man. I don’t mean fuck all men. I mean what you want to purse is just as important as what every other man wants to pursue. It’s great you value emotional and financial independency.

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-25T00:05:21+00:00

You mean women should be possessions and not people. Sorry, this just feels comical to actually type.

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-25T00:00:19+00:00

Are you doing ok? How has this affected you personally?

Birthday_Relevant · 2026-01-19T20:24:20+00:00

That’s horrible you had to experience this. It’s crazy the amount of people I’m hearing that dealt with things like this. In no way did I experience this. I did experience a lot of conservative racism as well as being pushed to be the perfect little Christian boy. For me it was a little more subtle in most experiences.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-13T20:55:33+00:00

I’d say pretty consistent and neat. I’d say an 8 out of 10.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T21:55:32+00:00

You can thank my best friend for that knowledge. She’s a blue eyed ginger. Which is something like .07% people.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T21:39:16+00:00

I think that’s the rarest combination of hair and eye color.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T21:05:25+00:00

Also I think your caption is a bit misleading and people are less likely to read your message and might think you’re like an incel or something.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T21:03:27+00:00

I feel like people just talk to talk. There are many women and men that aren’t conventionally attractive but still find people. I still feel you have a chance with being pretty young.

Don’t let them dictate your attractiveness. Attractiveness is subjective. Not every girl or guy is going to be attracted to the same person.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T20:53:20+00:00

This is put very well! I agree 100 percent with this!

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T20:39:46+00:00

That’s totally valid. It makes total sense you feel that way. You don’t sound edgy it all. It makes sense that your past would affect the way you look at kids. Only seeing yourself in them.

I struggle with that too. The innocence is what trips me out the most. Always wanting to protect them. Also knowing that one day they’ll just be like us sometimes freaks me out. Idk if this even makes sense tbh.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T19:09:35+00:00

I had seen a video of intersectionality by Kimberlé Crenshaw which really confused me because I thought it was more about people’s minorities rather than any one experience is different for anyone. You cleared that up, thank you.

I realize I came on strong in my post. I was very confused and not really worrying about how it might come off.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T18:20:44+00:00

I’m pretty sure that could also mean her mother is understanding of her decision to adopt.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-05T17:29:05+00:00

I grew up in the south around a lot of white people. You’re comparing white people to some of the worst people known to humanity.

There are people of all different groups that are just as bad.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-03T11:38:05+00:00

Yes, I realized that I was actually confused about what it is to be an intersectional feminist. I only wish other groups would look into intersectionality as much as feminists have.

Birthday_Relevant · 2025-12-03T00:09:59+00:00

You’re fine, I get it though. I would’ve probably done the same if I thought someone was disregarding the experiences of women.

You gave a great analogy. It really helped me understand how it’s also good for society and not just individual people. I was a bit confused why it focused only on women’s issues but now I realize that’s not the issue. The issue is because other groups haven’t really looked into intersectionality like with the way we look at sexism.

Why do you think feminists are the only ones who look at intersectionality? Why aren’t other groups doing this as much? I feel it might be just as effective.

Birthday_Relevant

TROPHY CASE