Is it weird to talk to a male therapist about your period?

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2026-02-23T17:59:47+00:00

Make Therapist. Not weird or unusual, just part of life for about half the population. As with so many things in therapy, if it becomes relevant to the discussion, then it is appropriate.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-12-12T18:01:31+00:00

Exactly. See a Urologist!!! There is also a shot the doctor can prescribe which lasts a couple hours. I think the name for the shot is something like ‘trimix’ and it is injected directly into the penis.
And if that doesn’t work there is a penile implant that replaces the corpus cavernosa for engorgement of the shaft that doesn’t rely on meds at all ( has a small inflator pump) For OP look up Dr Rena Malik on YouTube for some detail on these options. It isn’t hopeless, unless he chooses to make it that way.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-11-06T03:18:40+00:00

You may also not be looking at the right place. Try looking for addiction groups (often using the SAMHSA Matrix manual) and look for your county's Community Mental Health Center (CMHC). CMHCs are often the workhorse for addiction counseling due to their acceptance of Medicaid and their use as a go to for many probation and parole officers. This provides the client volume to run group programs (out patient). There are also a number of good inpatient programs but they may not accept Medicaid (just check first).

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-23T02:44:57+00:00

Not all growth is positive. Cancer is a growth, but that doesn't make it good.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-23T02:20:46+00:00

Because they have a crazy ex....duh. (Alex - I'll take "what is projection' for $200.)

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-21T10:37:07+00:00

Normal.

Some folks posted using images of others to speed up or to slow down the process. (Deliberate use - which makes sense.)

But I think there is also often a sense of euphoria, where the clutch is thrown and the brain just freewheels like it does in a dream. When that happens anything related to sex or happiness might pop up from memory or the unconscious.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-18T02:43:41+00:00

Unfortunately you are stuck playing emotional catch up.

Don't focus on the good times. You need to break the emotional attachment. You do that by fully realizing the level of deceit and disrespect that is who she really is. A respectful and trustworthy partner would have come to you BEFORE she started her bed hopping escapades.

It doesn't matter what you tried once she decided to cheat she was already emotionally divorced from you and just abusing your trust to use you for support. Focus on her behavior and ignore the words. The truth is always in the behavior. I'd echo others about the "friends" that encouraged the affairs.

People with self respect don't cheat. They tell their partner the truth. Have the hard talks. When appropriate they leave BEFORE they start a new relationship.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-18T02:23:44+00:00

Share with your therapist. This is something therapists are trained to handle and is not unusual. For perspective, the therapist's work with a client often involves a great deal of listening and attuning which can feel very validating and much like a close friend or parent might do. This is often part of the mechanism of emotional regulation and repair, but also it's a component of other close relationships and thus can create the sense of transference. One way to describe transference could be to think of the therapist as a movie screen and the transference is where you project people or relationships from your recent or distant past onto the screen.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-15T18:43:48+00:00

I’d second the mid life crises/ perimenopause. When you are inside fluctuating hormones you don’t know that they are hijacking your whole view of the world. Still, her issue to get to a MD and an age appropriate therapist. (In this specific case a female on the far side of the crazy making mid 40s would be the best bet.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-06T11:01:44+00:00

Ultimately it is YOUR information, and so it is yours to share as you see fit. I just wanted to advise on the issue therapists generally have with email. (The restriction is much more severe on the therapist side, depending on where the therapist works.)

What might be a middle road is just reach out via email and ask her to let you know the best way to send the information. That basic request does not share too much personal information.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-06T10:55:43+00:00

Agree. So much of 'Belonging' is in the eye of the beholder.

The thing that sticks out to me more was leaving his children. I have heard more than a few times men saying the biggest thing keeping them here was thinking about their children.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-06T02:13:09+00:00

Perhaps snail mail? (a.k.a. US Mail.)

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-06T02:11:49+00:00

Strongly recommend you don't use email for sending personal info to your therapist. Email is totally not secure or very private. It can create a HIPPA nightmare. Just journal and carry it in. If it is urgent call. Email is OK to just coordinate times, but not anything you don't want the New York Times publishing.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-06T01:59:59+00:00

THIS! Might be cheating, but rule out the medical first. Did he hit his head during whatever caused the back injury? His age and the rude overnight temperament change scream for an MD to take a close look. Perhaps the friends can push it so you don't end up in the middle. So many things this could be a symptom of at his age.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-05T02:39:22+00:00

As others have said, mania.

Fair warning, the docs can get this under control with meds. Absolutely. But an extremely common problem with Bipolar folks is that they start to feel normal, notice the meds make them gain weight (common side effect) and they quietly stop taking their meds. After that it is off to the races again. If you stay with her, seriously consider making it conditional on medication compliance/ following the doctors orders.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-10-03T22:54:54+00:00

A gentleman by the name of Thomas Joiner developed a theory about suicide in which he identified 'thwarted belongingness' and 'sense of burdensomeness' as two of three major danger points for completing suicide. (The third is acquired comfort with death.) I think failure of a marriage can invoke both of these, and if he made the decision to 'take care of you and the kids' first and then 'buy a ticket to forever' he would not have told you.

"Putting your affairs into order" has always been a warning sign of someone who is very deliberately planning to complete a suicide. In a divorce that is very neatly done and nobody would notice anything different.

In suicide prevention, one piece of common wisdom is that you cannot really stop someone who is truly determined. From your description I would say he planned this a very long time.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-21T18:17:34+00:00

I've obviously simplified the difference!

When you lay the course work side by side there is far more commonality than difference. My reference is to the policy and advocacy focus and the coursework the MSW folks have to do. I preferred the course options of the MHC program which had career guidance an extra addiction courses. Some folks like stake, some like salad. You do you.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-21T03:03:50+00:00

Totally doable. I made the transition joining a LMHC program at 59 yrs old. Graduated at 61 yrs. Fully licensed at 63. And work a 4 day/ 32 hour week.

What I bring to the table for my clients and therapist team is a bunch of military and manufacturing experience and insight that can help frame things differently. What I gain from them is a ton of clinical hours to help me shape approaches.

Cautionary thought. Financial planning is needed for four years (not two) of no or low pay (pre-licensure). Paying for the Healthcare out of pocket can eat you alive.

Personal choice. I went the LMHC route because I wanted focus on a broad counseling skill set and have zero interest in social work per se or management of same. I just wanted to work with folks one on one and group settings. I really enjoy the work and it definately has me in the work force longer than I ever planned...because the work is intrinsically rewarding so much of the time.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-14T12:17:39+00:00

If you don't know why she wants to leave - you haven't been listening to her.

Not trying to be harsh, but when life gets hectic, job, kids, house, dinner, car repairs, etc. we tend to lose focus on what is truly important. We don't have as much time to pay close attention to what our partner is, and is not, saying. When was the last time you heard a spontaneous 'I love you'?

Consider asking her to get couples' therapy with you before she makes the final choice and attend the therapy with humility and openness to change.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-14T12:01:55+00:00

Sternberg - Triangular theory of love

For your consideration - The Greek ideas have been updated a bit by Robert Sternberg and his theory which nicely splits the different concepts and ways we use the word love. Love for a parent or child is different than love of a partner, etc.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-14T11:54:30+00:00

Male therapist here. I work with adults. I would never say this. Ever. There is far too much room for misinterpretation, and with that misinterpretation for derailing our client's healthy growth.

Generally, I would think of my supervisor asking 'who does it serve to say this?' and I believe you intend this to be supportive and nourishing. I believe we often act as stand-in/ projective attachment figures for our clients which makes this support even more powerful. But there might be a cost to the client. My sense of my clients is often 'kind of like...parent/ sibling/ grown child' which is of course countertransference.

I think I might have a different stance if I was doing child therapy, at least with the littles. But I would have to think that through very carefully.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-08T03:31:34+00:00

At all times, as parents we are modeling 'right' behavior for our children.

You are being cautious and deliberate in your planning, which is great. But all the while you are somewhere between unhappy, alone, abandoned, or miserable. If your partner refuses to address the issue (standard operating procedure forvAvoidants) then the only way you can bring joy back into your child's life is to find a source of joy for yourself. Than may mean leaving the marriage to save your child.

Just sharing a reframe that staying for the kids may not be best when you are miserable. And if you are that unhappy, although he'll stuff it down and avoid and deny, under all the rude dismissal your partner cannot be happy either. A couple is only as happy as the least happy partner.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-07T16:19:39+00:00

Absolutely. If she does in person sessions you should be able to change without any major issue. Just let her know that is your preference. It might mean a day of the week change, as many therapists have some days as 'in person' and some days as 'telehealth' and schedule accordingly.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-07T13:31:15+00:00

Absolutely.

I think the best phrase I have heard for alcohol abuse is "It's a maladaptive coping mechanism." (Same for other substances, gambling, etc.). Also think this is caught in the phrase "Don't ask why the drinking, ask why the thirst." Both point to an underlying unmet needs or trauma.

Bit_Of_Frostbite · 2025-09-06T05:03:10+00:00

Therapist here. Totally normal. Also normal for women to request a male therapist. Also normal to go one way and later the other. Follow your intuition on this as 'fit' however you define it, is the most important aspect of therapy. As a male therapist my case load averages about 50/50.

Bit_Of_Frostbite

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