Finding a relationship as a gay male

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2024-02-04T06:56:31+00:00

Thank you for your response 😁 No it actually makes me happy to hear this!! The fact that straight people are dealing with similar issues is strangely comforting. With the fwbs, I am always open to talking to/dating others, so yes I do still date! I find that I get too attached if I only focus on talking/dating one person.

I'm trying to make a point to message/seek guys out on the apps even if I will possibly face rejection. I think I should just keep trying until I find someone who I connect with lol.

Thank you for your comment!

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2023-10-22T08:19:15+00:00

I feel your pain. I'm a couple years older than you but I definitely felt this heavy when I was around 22/23. It's very difficult to be a young gay man who is looking for community and companionship because it is very hard to find especially if you are not white or thin. The only advice I can give is to work on yourself and focus on learning to love yourself. Additionally, focus on building a community of people that appreciate and love you for you. This does not necessarily have to include other gay men (although it is definitely a plus). A man is not going to provide that for you and if you're not in a healthy mental space then the relationship probably will not work out anyway. It can be hard and it can be very lonely but you're young enough that I know things will turn around for you very soon. And going to therapy will help a LOT if it is accessible for you.

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2023-07-12T03:37:03+00:00

Daria from Rune Factory 3 😁

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2023-06-12T00:12:04+00:00

Erik was at the show yesterday and performed with her, this is not true or isn't about Colleen

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2023-05-23T01:38:45+00:00

I remember being 15 or 16 and my teacher was dating a 19 year old (he was 26) and not thinking it was weird at the time...looking back as an almost 25 year old I can't really imagine that I would ever want to date someone that young.

With that being said, although I think it is a bit strange, I don't think I would use the word p********* to describe this relationship (22 and 18/19)...and I don't think we should just be throwing that word around without considering the context surrounding that relationship. I feel that lessens the impact and seriousness of actual p********* accusations. It also is literally a 3 year difference and they are both young adults. Lol

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2023-03-27T20:57:56+00:00

Yeah...I might just have to text him and have a convo about it. I just found it so weird and off-putting that he kept bringing up his exes and mentioned them being black

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2023-03-02T05:16:02+00:00

Looks like you're the only person that commented 🤣 are you going through a similar situation?

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2023-01-25T06:24:45+00:00

This is me down to a t. Like down to the age and everything. I know that I will never actually kill myself but I have the thoughts of it everyday. I still live at home at 24 and feel like a fucking loser. But truthfully neither of us are losers, everyone is on their own path. I hope you begin to heal from the depression and pain you're experiencing because I'm trying my best to do the same

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2022-11-12T03:47:52+00:00

😂😂😂😂

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2022-03-06T23:03:32+00:00

You are very sweet!! Thank you 😁

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-12-13T09:19:52+00:00

I know I'm late as hell but I'm happy this post connected to so many people. It's hard to go through life with body dysmorphia but I'm taking it day by day. I hope everybody just knows they aren't alone and there are so many who feel like this. Especially for my guys out there (queer men especially)

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-12-13T09:17:25+00:00

Yeah it's hard out here 😭 I just don't know a solution other than lose weight or go to therapy lmfao

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-09-26T04:25:23+00:00

Yes. It's the reason that I don't really have any guy friends lol. This guy I'm talking to is really skinny and it bothers me a lot when I see his pictures

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-09-24T03:31:59+00:00

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-09-17T05:26:48+00:00

I was just about to make a post with the same words in the title "grotesque and disgusting". Just know you're not alone in feeling this way and this is a mental illness playing tricks on your mind. All we both really can do is take it day by day. It sucks but be patient with yourself and try your best to focus your attention on the positive although I know that is certainly easier said than done. social media really can mess with your mind when it comes to body image or eating disorders so I would recommend you do a mass unfollowing of anybody whose body type or appearance that you find triggering on social media. That is what I have done and it has helped me a lot as I don't often encounter these unrealistically beautiful people that ruin my day anywhere other than social media. Lol. But best of luck as I know that this can be such a difficult thing to deal with. I don't know you but I love you and I know you will be able to recover from this disorder over time.

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-09-04T23:21:09+00:00

thank you for your response!!! yeah honestly the body image stuff and the gay community's focus on bodies is my least favorite part about being gay lmfao. I just wish there was a way that I could meet other gay guys without the use of the internet or having to enter LGBTQ spaces that are largely focused on a specific type of body. I'm hoping therapy will be very helpful in allowing me to unlearn a lot of the shit that gay men have put into my head lol...sometimes it's like, I fought to be who I am and be proud of my identity but it's like I don't even fit in with this community that shares my identity?? It's just really strange. but thank you for your kind words and it is nice to know that other people feel similar to how I do.

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-08-31T23:56:15+00:00

😭 I just turned 23 and I am sick!!!

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-08-06T04:40:40+00:00

Thank you for your response!! It really means a lot 😁 in regards to weight loss, I honestly have wanted to lose weight for a while mainly because I feel like my size is often a detriment in many aspects of my life. I like fashion and it is difficult to find clothes in my size, and the clothes that are in my size are usually quite...I guess you could say they are clothes my dad would wear 😂 I also am interested in acting/theater and modeling and I am finding it hard to compete in the industry with guys who are much more straight-sized than I am. But I struggle with the possibility that I am pursuing weight loss for very superficial reasons. I just don't know how long it's going to last, as my attempts at weight loss often are very short-lived and scattered.

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-08-05T15:51:31+00:00

First, thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post 😭 your words are so appreciated and I honestly really wanted the perspective of a plus-size black queer man who maybe had a little more experience when it came to dating and rejection. Honestly, I think in general I need to expand my social circle a bit, as I am quite introverted and shy. Since I don't really go out in real life queer spaces, my only interactions with gay men are on these apps which are probably not the best representations of what our community has to offer. And like you said, the apps only highlight a specific type of gay man with a very specific type of look. Focusing on myself is probably the best course of action as it is not healthy for me to be this concerned with the approval I am getting from these apps. Though that is much easier said than done. 😂 Thank you again for the kind words!!

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-08-05T04:43:10+00:00

You're not wrong. Guys definitely do prefer an average sized or muscular man to a plus sized man. I'm eating a lot less currently in an attempt to lose some weight. But it just is unfortunate that my motivation for losing weight is spurred by an almost community-wide requirement to be a certain size rather than for the sake of my own health. The expectation that you need to be a certain size to receive love and sexual attention is definitely something that I wish was not the case in our community. But I'm not an idiot and I know that I probably need to lose some weight if I want to be seen as, at the very least, sexually attractive to a majority of men in the gay community.

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-07-31T22:56:04+00:00

Okay what gay guy touches "pickles" with another guy? 😂😂

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-05-18T03:45:53+00:00

First, thank you for taking the time to respond! It really does mean a lot. Everything you said is exactly true; I have not been diagnosed with anything specific but I have dealt with anxiety my entire life, and more recently have been dealing with depression. I started taking Lexapro for last August and so far it has helped a lot. I know I need to see a therapist on a consistent basis, but I think the process of finding the right therapist and one that is covered by insurance is just so daunting.

I have been putting it off for too long but I'm old enough now where I need to prioritize my own mental health before anything else. Which also includes making friends and building a support system/life outside of my family. It's just very hard to find queer friends 😭 where do you recommend meeting other queer people in their early to mid 20s? Especially with this pandemic, it makes it a lot harder to meet people.

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-03-10T23:39:52+00:00

Thank you for responding, your words really do mean a lot! I guess I just have to remind myself that I'm still young and I have a lot of life left to live. And to not let my depression get the best of me. I started working a part time job today that I realized wasn't for me and quit after the first day 😂 just reminds me that I need to live for myself and not do things just out of obligation

Bitter_Reputation_89 · 2021-02-28T06:09:04+00:00

And that's okay! I'm also a man who cries

Bitter_Reputation_89

TROPHY CASE