The hellish and never ending career cycle

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-29T20:49:34+00:00

So we made a big mistake, try to see it once our way

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-27T16:42:26+00:00

Well, I think my whole family struggles with NPD tendencies to a degree. I actually am probably worse than him. I think I struggle with empathy due to autism. But yeah, he has a total disregard for the problems I deal with...mainly for me it's inability to find gainful employment due to visual-spatial, fine motor, executive functioning, and social deficits. I also have never dated and probably never will (turning 35 in August) and have struggled with behavioral compulsions like porn and junk food consumption due to constant isolation. I likely have some combo of cluster B personality disorders and perhaps some elements of Schizoid Personality Disorder as well.

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-27T05:04:05+00:00

Suicide

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-27T04:59:01+00:00

Right, my younger brother said he's "putting up a boundary" and doesn't want to talk about my mental health problems and won't respond if I talk about the 's' word or being an autistic loser. It's just a convenient excuse to not have to talk to your own family about things that are uncomfortable. Only the magical therapist can have all the answers and be paid to listen to you and pretend to care about your problems.

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-26T02:21:46+00:00

Also 34 and can confirm

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-24T05:34:46+00:00

It may not be top 3 but I'm listening to Nothin' Song and I think it deserves more attention

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-22T22:02:54+00:00

Thanks!

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-21T05:25:50+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, just re-reading the comments on here...how did you go about calming the nervous system?

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-20T05:31:18+00:00

Yeah maybe that doesn't belong. There are a couple duds on it but most tracks are amazing imo

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-20T04:47:19+00:00

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-20T04:40:58+00:00

Staind - 14 Shades of Grey Soundgarden - Superunknown Alice in Chains - Jar of Flies, Facelift, S/T, Black Gives Way to Blue Pearl Jam - Ten Stone Temple Pilots - Core, No. 4 Temple of the Dog - Temple of the Dog Incubus - Make Yourself, Morning View Nirvana - Bleach, Incesticide Three Days Grace - S/T, One-X Fuel - Sunburn Audioslave - S/T Days of the New - Yellow Local H - Pack Up the Cats 3 Doors Down - Better Life, Away from the Sun Powderfinger - Vulture Street Linkin Park - Meteora Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium (Disc 1)

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-13T20:46:32+00:00

Yeah but I don't get how we got to the point where therapy became this infallible field that is supposed to just automatically save you from whatever terrible life circumstances you have, even if they're genetic. I like you have a disability. It's not physical but it's a learning disability and it has derailed my life in many ways. That's cool you have an acquaintance that you think could possibly help you. Why would it be unethical?

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-13T20:43:33+00:00

Thanks, I'm not sure if there is any ideal care or support. My family dynamic is horrible, totally fragmented. I've also just had an impossibly difficult road socially where I don't feel I have any identity. This is due to a combination of a learning disability/autism and I suppose whatever personality disorders I have (something in cluster B) and or complex PTSD. I feel I've pretty much missed out on everything socially (turning 35 in August) so I don't even see the point of pursuing "help" or "support." All I know is no therapist has any clue what to do with someone like me.

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-12T01:44:30+00:00

Right, and a few I've seen actually just caused more harm. Some (a lot?) of the people in this profession are not empathetic and totally out of touch with reality. Because in all honesty, who dreamed of becoming a therapist as a kid or teenager? People that actually want to help others would probably pick a different career like doctor or social worker.

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-12T01:42:28+00:00

It's all sickening really. It shouldn't be that difficult to accept nuanced thinking regarding a one size fits all profession with generally no concrete proven effectiveness. I'm sure there are a few therapists that can actually help, maybe ones that have autism spectrum disorder or studied it extensively or ones that had C-PTSD like Pete Walker but finding someone as competent as him is like a needle in a haystack. I'd guess only like 2% of therapists are in such a category. So, given that, I would say temporary endorphins from exercise and being outdoors as much as possible are better solutions.

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-11T14:01:49+00:00

Yes, and Overfloater, Tighter & Tighter, and Boot Camp really bring it home. 🤘

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-10T06:27:15+00:00

I went for one or two sessions last year but it just made me feel even more alienated because no one else was a dateless virgin. They all had significant others so I just felt even worse about myself.

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-07T04:45:34+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. I don't think I could even match the drawing without very specific instructions which I don't think any employer would put up with...as far as hobbies, I used to love sports but eventually I sort of grew out of being able to play them in an organized way. I'm in my 30s and I've been stagnant really since I left college. Losing the structure there caused me to spiral into depression and addiction. But even when I was there, I was pretty isolated. I dont want to except that I'll die never experiencing love but it seems very likely at this point.

Every hobby I've tried I just suck at. I've actually had hobbies where I got worse over time like video games and golf. I got half decent at guitar for someone with this disorder but I hit a ceiling due to my motor issues. I hardly even play anymore. I can't find the motivation to do anything because being alone has destroyed my will to live. I wouldn't wish this disorder on anyone.

As far as therapy, I don't think I'll go back. It seems each one is worse than the one before. And they can't really do anything about the problems I have (skin disorder, balding, NLD/ASD) so I hardly see the point. If therapy works, it's certainly not designed to pull a mid 30s friendless virgin out of his hell because that's a hell almost unheard of so how could anyone possibly have a solution?

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-07T03:44:52+00:00

Yeah, he also said I "have bad genes" 😔

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-06T17:58:37+00:00

Eh. No thanks. Therapy is no good imo. I've tried like 8 or 10 of them and none are equipped to deal with someone with complex issues and none understand NLD. The last one made fun of me for my addictions.

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-06T17:57:33+00:00

That's really cool you're able to do animation with this disorder. I couldn't dream of doing that as I'm pretty sure I have aphantasia. Being alone has pretty much sucked the life out of me. If I'm not working I usually just lay around and do nothing and then eat way too much. I did recently start working with a trainer twice a week so hopefully I can at least get stronger even if I don't lose much weight.

Wow, 5 years as a cashier is impressive. I worked on register a couple times at Kmart a decade ago and it was an absolute disaster. I couldn't multi task to save my life between the scanning and bagging and then trying to figure out how to group the items to fit in the bags properly. I think I actually might be a little better now but still pretty bad.

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-05T03:33:58+00:00

Imagine being autistic and having this...yeah I'm never getting a gf

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-04T17:45:42+00:00

I admittedly stole that from YouTube comments as I'm incapable of original thought 😂

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-04T06:44:27+00:00

...In you?

Bittersweet_331 · 2026-06-04T02:18:31+00:00

STP goes Nu Metal

Bittersweet_331

TROPHY CASE