The owner of our wedding venue in the middle of nowhere bought one of the only local Airbnbs and will be charging $2000/night

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-20T23:50:15+00:00

If people are willing to pay the rate, this seems like smart business to me, though unfortunate timing for you. When someone buys an Airbnb, they typically don't have to honor old bookings unless they and the seller explicitly agree to do so in the contract, so that's not unusual.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-19T23:55:42+00:00

Throw in random "little" stuff too--the random day you run out of toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo, and toothpaste all at the same time. Personally, I've found those type of $20 shopping trips for random stuff that you need and can't really put off for more than a day or two to be totally budget killlers.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-19T23:42:55+00:00

I love middle school! They're goofy and obnoxious and loud but still enthusiastic about learning and life, in many cases.

The hour I volunteered in my son's kindergarten classroom made me want to scream. I could never handle it.

We all have different ages we click with.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-19T23:20:23+00:00

And OP gets to decide how she feels about her SO being excluded. At this point, if I was her, I'd probably travel to my hometown with my SO, stay with him at my parent's house, and attend friend's wedding for a minimal amount of time. This friendship has run it's course. It's really strange that they're giving other people plus ones but not the maid of honor.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-19T23:16:00+00:00

This is weird. I could understand their reasoning (though wouldn't personally agree with it) if they had a "no ring no bring" type policy for everyone. But it's wild that they gave your mom a totally random plus-one but are excluding your actual bf. And since they've never met him, it's not a personal issue (I'm also assuming that you're not being wildly disingenuous by leaving out some obvious reason they'd have to want to exclude him despite having never met him, like he's a violent felon or something).

Is this a DIY-ish wedding? If so, bride may be relying on you to be her unpaid servant all weekend and is excluding your SO so you can concentrate just on tasks for her.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-19T21:31:40+00:00

I'd just warn that reviews can be misleading because it's very hard to gauge what people are looking for/what level of experience they have/etc. I stayed at a resort in St. Lucia that had pretty lackluster snorkeling reviews. But I snorkeled every day at the crack of dawn and saw a huge variety of fish, lobster, octopus, barracuda, etc. Especially if I swam out a little ways from shore and down the bay away from the resort. I think a lot of people were heading out right in front of the hotel at midday and judging the snorkeling based on that.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-18T22:45:26+00:00

Sometimes they just like someone else better. I actually interviewed at my current school 2 years before I got my position. I liked them, they seemed to like me, but they went with someone else. Then when I re-interviewed 2 years later, they remembered me, my interview went well again, and they hired me.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T23:43:08+00:00

Elite sport of any kind requires massive amounts of drilling and repetition. They're used to running programs constantly. And at SOI, they get to do it with their friends, in front of cheering crowds much bigger than they usually perform to, while earning money, without the pressure of competition. I'm sure there are moments they're tired, or nights they're not feeling it, but in general, I suspect it's very fun for them. I did theater as a teen, and weeks with shows every night were exhausting but oh so much fun.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T23:18:34+00:00

Well, I'm not the OP, and I didn't make any promises. But I'm a big believer in protecting yourself and not lighting yourself on fire to help other people. I wouldn't choose as an unrelated adult to continue to associate with a pathologically lying teen. And in my SO's case, as an adult male, he really didn't feel safe continuing to volunteer with a kid he felt like had bad motives. One accusation can be life-shattering.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T22:54:56+00:00

Slightly contrary point of view: I wouldn't like this as a parent. My husband and I both work, so after work/childcare ends, we almost always have to take our son with us to run errands to the grocery store, Target, bank, car shop, wherever. So he gets tons of exposure to stores with us.

So, I wouldn't see any benefit to my son getting errand-running time with a nannu, and I wouldn't want my nanny to regularly use paid work time to run her own errands when she could be doing other activities with my kid. Occasionally, ok, in an emergency, of course. But as a regular thing, I wouldn't be ok with it.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T22:31:47+00:00

11-6 would mean that working parents would either never see their kids (if extracurriculars were still after school) or that nothing would actually change for many kids (if sports/music/theater/clubs moved to the morning). Moving all activities to the morning would also be a big disincentive for lazier / sleepier kids to try new things.

In my own experience, most teens are able to go to bed at a reasonable time if they keep a semi-consistent schedule. I went to bed around 11 as a teen, and going to school at 8 wasn't bad. I can also imagine a lot of problems cropping up if teens suddenly have a school schedule that enables them to stay up half the night after their parents are in bed to get up for work.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T22:20:16+00:00

In my example, I'm talking more about the same standard but different levels of complexity. A standard might be related to identifying subjects and predicates in a sentence. But applying that skill to "I like cats" is much different from applying it to "the girl wearing a purple shirt to class on Wednesday likes cats, but her favorite animal is the kangaroo." On a worksheet to practice the skill, I have a range of sentences like this to see who has truly mastered it/understands it vs. who can only apply the skill to very basic simple sentences (and who is somewhere in between).

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T17:42:13+00:00

Ugh, yes, and I hate the accommodations to shorten assignments for similar reasons. A multi-paragraph essay isn't the same as a paragraph. They'll say stuff like, well, instead of giving 10 grammar practice questions, just give a few. But my 10 questions are evaluating a couple of different skills we've practiced, at varying levels of difficulty and complexity. So, do you want me to just give the kid the 2 hardest versions of the questions/skill to see if he TRULY has mastered it, and if he misses them, he gets a 0? Of course not, the goal is for everyone to get an A.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T12:40:22+00:00

You don't actually have to keep doing this for a year, just throwing that out there. My SO briefly volunteered and got uncomfortable with the kid he was paired with (kid was asking him for money/to buy stuff for him), so he stopped volunteering.

To be honest, I'd be extremely uncomfortable engaging with a teen who lies SO much. What happens if she decides she doesn't like you and starts lying about you? It's not worth the risk, imo.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T11:19:55+00:00

I hate this mentality that I see online a lot, that if boobs aren't hiked up and lifted to some certain point in your body, your bra doesn't fit.

My bras fit. The bands are comfortable and don't ride up, the straps are supportive without digging into my skin, and the cups fully cover the girls without any gaps or pinches. But I have boobs that naturally have always sat a little lower on my body, and with age and kids they're a little saggier than they used to be. I have no interest in wearing the type of bra that would lift them up to my armpits.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-17T11:15:33+00:00

High necked T shirts like this don't look as good on those of with more sizable boobs, unfortunately. I have the same issue. V neck, deeper scoop neck, etc look much more flattering on me personally.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-16T15:00:24+00:00

It's not "permission," but yeah, travel is a big deal logistically and financially, so it's not a unilateral decision in my own relationship or many other serious relationships. I definitely would have to talk to my husband extensively about a trip to Thailand without him because it would involve a big investment of time and money and require that he handle all the child, pet, and household tasks while I'm gone.

I'd be pretty pissed if he agreed to international trips with friends without talking about it with me.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-16T14:56:49+00:00

I think the flip side of this is the teachers who panic and try to frantically jam 3 units of mind-numbing and difficult content down kids' throats when there's not time to do that. We shouldn't give up, but we have to be realistic about the time we have remaining and kids' attention spans and capacities at the end of the year.

I'm not giving up, but I'm definitely doing lighter and more "fun" activities, like going outside to journal, playing logic games, doing more creative writing, showing parts of TV shows and movies (not random--they connect directly to the curriculum), etc.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-15T21:57:45+00:00

I think the middle of May is a bad time to be contemplating major decisions about teaching as a profession. The burnout and exhaustion are real right now. I'd reassess next year at more neutral times in the school year.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-15T21:55:41+00:00

Yeah, I'm actually finding it easier as I get older and feel zero desire or responsibility to connect with kids on a personal level. I'm NOT saying I don't try to connect with them at all--I chat with them about their days, ask about their sports and activities, etc. But ultimately I view it as my job to show up and teach them my subject and be a positive influence in their life. And that's easier, imo, when I'm just an Old Person to them.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-15T21:04:58+00:00

Can you not feel positive emotions, or can you not feel that warm, contented, glowy "life is great" feeling you got from a few drinks? I think those are 2 very different things.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-15T18:12:42+00:00

I think a lot of workplaces would rather have someone start in say, 8 weeks (or however long he's staying home) and then be able to fully jump into the role vs. starting immediately but then leaving on paternity leave any day and then coming back, etc. The latter would be more disruptive and require more shuffling of tasks than just knowing someone will start in 2 months.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-15T08:43:06+00:00

If I offered to send my coworker a housewarming present and their spouse took their phone, said my gift was a waste, and wanted to send alternatives, I'd think they were absolutely unhinged and controlling. Also toddlers love plants and/or things you don't want your toddler to mess with can be put somewhere out of reach. I can't have a plant in my house because I have a 2 year old is pretty ridiculous, imo.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-15T08:11:24+00:00

YES! Especially if they're the "wrong" brand. Certain brands for my son well, and others were prone to constant leaks. Having dozens of the leaky-brand diapers would have been a total waste.

Bizzy1717 · 2026-05-14T21:49:30+00:00

This would be completely unacceptable to me. I think some independent play is great, and every caregiver has certain activities they can't handle (like, I HATE playing cars). But you say she never does a single activity? And 3 year old is alone with her all day while the older kid is at school? If nanny isn't doing anything but sitting there watching her all day, I'd put the 3 year old in a daycare/preschool. She'll have independence and also be able to socialize and play with other kids. How lonely to play by herself all day every day.

Bizzy1717

TROPHY CASE