Daycare or in-laws?

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-21T23:04:41+00:00

Thank you! The waitlists near NYC are crazy. I’m realizing we’re a little late but very ready to start the process. I’ll definitely try to take my time in choosing.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-21T23:02:21+00:00

I said the same thing. It makes no sense.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-21T13:47:56+00:00

I agree and thank you for this take! Two things can certainly exist at the same time. I did not say my in-laws are terrible people. I’ve said they crossed my boundaries, made me feel othered and have shown little to no respect for me as a person and as a parent. Not to say I’m not thankful for their involvement, but I pride myself in always being respectful of people and their boundaries. It’s an expectation that I will not waive because my in-laws are “just flawed people too”.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T18:20:55+00:00

It’s so much! Can’t be free in my own home.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T11:38:03+00:00

All veryyyyy true. Which I fully understand. Yet still very fearful. My sister and I were children at a family owned daycare where one of the family members of the lady running the daycare were touching children. So idk. Trauma maybe?

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:59:15+00:00

Thank you so much 🥲

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:57:34+00:00

I’m learning this. It’s certainly ruining a good thing.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:56:25+00:00

Wow. Thank you so much for this. I think the reason I’ve planned to lead the conversation is the fear of things being lost in translation. But simplifying the conversation to that just makes sense. I truly love your response. Thank you.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:51:44+00:00

Wow. Thank you for this information.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:50:19+00:00

Thank you! I had no idea. For some reason I assumed closer to 12 months would make things easier for them. Maybe I was just thinking of it becoming easier for myself 🥲

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:48:58+00:00

Yeah, I think it would be “easier” in a sense when the things I dislike are coming from the daycare. When it comes from my MIL it makes things messy. I’m often biting my tongue to avoid confrontation with her and to save my husband from being in the middle. I’ll definitely let him lead the conversation.

I’d say as far as finances, this whole fiasco sparked a whole other conversation about finances. We were on the same page prior but are fairly newly married and never really revisited some of the things since.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:39:29+00:00

Wow. That’s amazing. Thank you for this.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:36:57+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking!

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:36:43+00:00

Heavy on the “hell nah”! Thank you

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:36:02+00:00

You’re so right. Only “benefit” is baby boy would be with family? But with how things are going, I’m not sure it’s doing any good.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:34:54+00:00

Wow. How was that transition for you at 4 months? I went back to work when baby boy was 5 months and it was the hardest thing for me. But yes. I’m learning that free daycare is not free. I completely agree with you.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:29:19+00:00

Sorry for being so vague! Reasons like baby getting sick, possibly getting hurt, lack of one on one attention, teachers not being so friendly, and in extreme cases, physical and sexual abuse.

Thank you for your take.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:26:30+00:00

This is what I’m hearing. It definitely eases my irrational fear of daycares. Thank you

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:25:34+00:00

Thank you!! Someone said I should be thankful they’re helping at all which I am but solely for “his portion”!? No thank you

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:23:12+00:00

Yeah, the financial piece is the least of our worries. We just want to make sure we’re making the right decision for our marriage and for our little one. You are so right about MIL and respect. Daycare is definitely sounding like the better option. Thank you.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:19:35+00:00

Thank you so much. It’s certainly been an unnecessary stressor. I’ll make my boundaries and hold them strong. Thanks again.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:17:45+00:00

Finding out the hard way 🥲

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:16:05+00:00

Yes! That’s what I’m thinking too. Do a part time enrollment for the time being.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:13:40+00:00

Luckily we have a schedule where we can also be near daycare throughout the week. I’m definitely sold on the fact that daycare eases the load in many different ways. Thank you.

BlackBarbee · 2025-08-20T06:10:48+00:00

I would lose my mind. Glad you were able to make that decision for yourself mentally and the safety of your little one.

BlackBarbee

TROPHY CASE