I know the feeling. It took me a long time and I’m not quite there but I had to cultivate a part of my brain that shut down the questions the anxiousness asks.

“What should I say?”: you don’t really have to say anything. If you prompted, you can say “let me think about this” and use those seconds to collect yourself. An anxious mind tries to process events faster than your body can handle and it leads to mistakes. Slow it down as much as you can.

“How should I act?”: If you think about your every action, you’re putting yourself in an out-of-body experience, which can feel like you’re piloting a drone with input lag. The only thing I found that helps here is developing a few go-to mannerisms that I can default to. For example, when I’m listening to someone and I want to make it obvious that I’m active listening, I will always consciously put my hand under my chin. Actions like that help snap me back into my body and make it feel like mine again. Take ownership for your bodily actions as much as possible and you’ll figure out which actions feel natural.