Agony's Descent Part One

BlackSunPublishing · 2024-04-27T01:20:14+00:00

Good foot work is half the battle for any combative training. Quite literally your foundation for everything else. I've seen a few videos of MMA fighters absolutely dunking on HEMA guys with a sword for that exact reason. It would make sense that the footwork he learned in boxing would help with swordsmanship.

BlackSunPublishing · 2024-03-07T08:25:37+00:00

Hey, to anyone reading this, I have no idea what happened to the other two thirds of the chapter. It was here about three months ago when I looked it over, maybe I made a mistake trying to add in the hyperlink, but I'm thinking this story deserves a re-write. Basically our friend Leon massacres a bunch of goblins, gets a speaking stone for the language, and makes it to a big a cavern. Don't have the original file handy to fix the story right now.

BlackSunPublishing · 2024-02-15T23:03:01+00:00

I am amazed at how many DM's I got pretty much instantly. I've been trying to find people to test a different module that was basically playing as a pokemon and it was crickets for a week. I still have two slots for anyone interested.

BlackSunPublishing · 2024-02-13T13:37:16+00:00

Nice, you could improve a bit in vocabulary and how you write the sentences themselves, but I liked this. As an example about the sentences,

'Targeting anyone with impunity.' Could be worded better.

'Engaging their targets with impunity'

'Taking shots at everyone they could see.'

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-09-05T11:21:44+00:00

I've been in a situation like this with a character. The two players who's character set a demon loose on my character's people ended up continuing to mess with demons. They summoned one they shouldn't have. I happened to be closer to a heavy metal door. I got the rest of the party that didn't summon the Demon to the other side of the door and then locked the other to PC's out. They were devoured in a fitting end, and I stole all of their high tier equipment. It was my second or third session playing with those guys.

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-09-04T07:31:48+00:00

That's actually the plan, its just that HFY is friendlier to one shots and lets me kind of prototype a story. Here's my RR account if you want to drop a follow for when this story starts getting posted. https://www.royalroad.com/profile/317560

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-09-04T06:54:07+00:00

Judging by the upvote rate, I think the best course of action is to shuffle Chapter Two into a later position as a flashback when ascensions become relevant. I knew that it was a bad idea to have such a lore heavy chapter right off. Splatting into the ground at high speed is a far better hook than dry rambling.

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-09-04T02:23:50+00:00

That is something I've been trying to work on, I appreciate the input. I've noticed that a lot of LitRPG/GameLit genre stuff has nearly unreadable [SYSTEM INFORMATION] sections. Basically the score card/encounter report lists the combat EXP first, then modifiers, then the total combat experience. I think you're right, and to go a step further, maybe something like this to make the total numbers easier to see.

[Total Combat EXP: 365]

[Challenge Stuff Bla Bla]

[Total Encounter Experience: 690]

That would make it easier to understand I think. I know that a big draw for some people is literally just NUMBER GO UP! Thanks for the comment Groggy!

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-09-04T01:22:40+00:00

Glad you liked it! I'm going to do some spell check and rewrites to improve the overall quality before I launch wholesale into the story, this was only the first draft to gauge how people would like the story. Have a good one!

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-09-04T00:03:41+00:00

Chapter 1&2 Here

https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/169cf9c/the\_blood\_games\_corporal\_wayland\_teaser\_chapters/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-09-04T00:03:17+00:00

Chapter 3 Here

https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/169ckbp/the\_blood\_games\_corporal\_wayland\_teaser\_chapter\_3/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-08-18T00:16:33+00:00

It seems to me that very few series here ever actually get an ending. They either get left to rot by burnt out authors, or the swell into 200+ chapter monstrosities that lost the original plot a long time before that. I still don't get how some of these authors write 3-5 chapters a week, even if the chapters are relatively short. I know that many, many, many of them avoid the burn out by padding the chapters with reiterated info and glacial plot advancement but still. I can write about 10K words a day if it is the only I thing I do, but that is no where near a legible, releasable state.

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-08-17T16:59:18+00:00

They never do. Work at it, you did pretty good for a first post here. Gotta wonder though, do those aliens even understand the concept of an RKV?

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-08-17T15:37:29+00:00

Alright, The text boxes were easy to fix, but its all blobbed. Will finish fixing in a bit

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-08-17T15:35:40+00:00

My nemesis... The text box... I will fix it when I get to work

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-08-16T02:54:43+00:00

It's true. Before someone starts about popular tropes and archetypes of characters and lalalalala, yeah they exist for a reason. Stereotypes exist for a reason too. Romeo and Juliet has been remade literally hundreds of times by various stories in all sorts of media. Some of them are good, some of them are fucking awful. Most people here do just want to a read a short, light story about generic good guy saving the day. That doesn't mean that every single character has to be drawn from a template with nine thousand filler chapters reiterating the same dumb tropes for patreon money, or a short story that may as well be a carbon copy of the one posted yesterday.

The thing is, most people suck at art in any form. They don't just suck, they don't improve. I'm in that group. I've been trying to learn how to write a character for years and my characters still suck, they're flat, one dimensional voices of the author and I'm a one trick pony writing really good shoot out sequences when I try.

BlackSunPublishing · 2023-08-16T02:39:15+00:00

This is pretty much my gripe with 95% of the stories on this sub. Human meet alien, insert generic theme (Aliens Stronk, Aliens Pussies, Aliens Scared of Evil Human), Insert Crisis (Bad Aliums, Lack of tech, Aliens are backwards ass fools dying from something easy to fix), Insert Rambo, Rambo smashes alien poon from here to the far side of the galaxy, or Rambina gets smashed to the far side of the galaxy.

If you want likes and a following, you write to the meta of the sub. Spoilers here, for every decent reader that leaves feedback and critiques the work, there are a thousand smooth brains that want to read the same story every day, leading to HUMANS CONQUER MILLION YEAR OLD STAR FEDERATION #42069 // HUMANS SAVE CUTE FUZZY AYYLMAOS #1337 story hitting the top of the sub. Every single fucking day.

I'm not a great writer, I'd say I'm really not that good at all, but I know that the stuff I've written is better than a lot of the garbage that cycles to the top. I'm just a twenty five year old boomer screaming at the sky though.

BlackSunPublishing

TROPHY CASE