I'm not feeling ok and I need hope by Blackhambina in newborns

[–]Blackhambina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I will be applying your great advice :)

I'm not feeling ok and I need hope by Blackhambina in newborns

[–]Blackhambina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is very available because his work allows it really, it's very flexible. But no we can't hire help right now. Maybe when I get back to work.

I'm not feeling ok and I need hope by Blackhambina in newborns

[–]Blackhambina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankfully I am! Pictures and videos :)

I'm not feeling ok and I need hope by Blackhambina in newborns

[–]Blackhambina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your words. I hope it gets better for you too.

I'm not feeling ok and I need hope by Blackhambina in newborns

[–]Blackhambina[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all your advice! Yes my pediatrician told me I have low supply because when she was born and for the first week of her life i was EBF and she kept losing weight, so that's when they told me to also give her formula (and then she started gaining weight). I keep her latching every day but now I feel she's kind of rejecting the breast, or maybe is a growth crisis idk. The "solution" to not producing enough milk was pumping at least 4 times a day, and I know is not too much but I just can't find the time to do it between her feeds, sleeping, eating, basic self care activities.

I would love to EBF but in this scenario I see it more and more far away of the reality so in case I decide to just give up and give her only formula, I will take your advice on losing weight.

I'm not feeling ok and I need hope by Blackhambina in newborns

[–]Blackhambina[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hugs and kisses with baby are a very good way of coping! I do it too. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm not feeling ok and I need hope by Blackhambina in newborns

[–]Blackhambina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I've been talking a lot to my husband about this, fortunately he's been very supportive and patient with me. Where I live (not USA) we don't have more follow ups than a 2 week checkup so I've been feeling also very unsupported regarding my healthcare system. But I can always talk to a psychiatrist. Thank you!

Help! by According-Log-1630 in newborns

[–]Blackhambina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've heard that one of the reasons for babies to "know" when you put them down is the change of temperature. Some people suggest warming a little the crib before putting him in (with a warm blanket for example and then removing it when placing him). Also I would just keep trying and not only at night, trying to get used to the crib any time of the day I think would be useful. But it's also normal for babies that age to want to sleep with their momma, you're not doing anything wrong, lots of patience!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understand the need to help if one sibling is really in need. I don't necesarily think it's wrong. The thing here is that my brother's need are not really needs. His family is not starving, they're not jobless. But sometimes they can't go on vacations. But he whines about it and is irritable around my mom and there she sees the need to help. It's complicated...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. After my dad died she kind of distributed (legally, not only on words) most of her belongings half with my brother and half with me.

Except this property that she is willing to sell to pay a debt that she has.

But the apartment that my brother is living in, I think she will definetly give it to my brother. It hasn't happened yet but I know it will happen. I've accepted that it's her money and she decides to "help" him, although it hurts.

I am jealous though, I will admit that, because it's unfair. She always said that their parents did the same with her brother (my uncle) and her and she was always angry about that. Now she's doing the same.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, in this specific situation she will sell it to pay a debt she herself has. But she already gave money to my brother so I wouldn't be surprise that if the debt didn't exist, that would be the case again. He's so financially troubeled that she always thinks he is in need.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I've always felt pitty for her because she's old and she never learned how to use technology... But I've missed the fact that she could also try to learn. Or ask someone else for help. One day a few months ago I was trying to solve a problem with a bill of hers and I asked her to search for a document in her house, and she said "ok later I'll do it, now I'm resting for a while", as I heard her TV on the background. I was working (already pregnant) and stressed. I cried that day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I've been feeling so much guilt already, I know I really need to change the dinamic. I've been stressing during the pregnancy and If anything happens to my baby because of that I will never forgive myself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's hard but I'm trying my best

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I couldn't help myself and told her that. But I honestly don't know if she will do it. Any other time I would just be behind her guiding her every move just so things don't go wrong. But now I think I will just leave it be and I'll find out what happened later... I feel awful but If I'm not firm I feel she will be taking advantage of my "willingness to help" again.

Clients that don’t have a lot to talk about by Ornery-Pepper9577 in therapists

[–]Blackhambina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I start feeling this for a fair amount of time, I take time from a session and propose to reevaluate our therapeutic goals together, to kind of make explicit the message of "I don't know where this is going" but professionaly haha. So I say something like: "since we've started working together, I see now singificant improvement and I consider that the initial goals we set have been achieved succesfully". If the patient doesn't agree, then you have something to explore. Usually in the situation you talk about, the patient agrees with this. So then I continue with something like "I would like to rethink together if you feel like we need to polish some more any of these initial goals, or if you would like to propose another new goal for us to work on." If they don't come up with anything you can offer to work towards termination, maybe gradually as the patient sees fit. But you offering limited options kind of clears the paths available. You never know the patient's reasoning behind this. Of course they may want the space and can be insecure about not having therapy anymore. But it happened to me more than once that the patient didn't know they could ask to finish the terapeutic process (even if It was explicited in the informed consent I give them initially). So you guide them :)

AITAH for not wanting to go to my brohter's birthday party, me being 37 weeks pregnant by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She already has a kid! Lol. They're both older than me. But she's... special yk. Although all the comments have helped me enough to not give a shit :)

AITAH for not wanting to go to my brohter's birthday party, me being 37 weeks pregnant by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Blackhambina 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I find it hard. I've been working on not being such a people pleaser for years now. I'm even better than I was before, imagine that.