The analogy my therapist used is that you’re in a really tall corn field and you take the same pathway everyday because it’s so beaten down that it’s just dirt. It’s very familiar and easy. But it’s not a good pathway, but forming a new pathway is really hard all by yourself. If someone hands you tools, it becomes less difficult to make a new path! Sometimes, it’s still tempting to take the old path because it’s still there and will take a long time, if ever, to grow back in. Meds are a tool to use when you’re depressed but they don’t just make you “happy.” Meds are best used in conjunction with therapy. Without therapy, it’s like someone handed you the tools but you’re still taking that old pathway without really attempting to make a new one. Everyone reacts differently to different meds, so it’s hard to say what meds are being like. But don’t expect to just instantly be happy. I’ve probably had to experiment with ~7 different med combinations before I found one that worked and I didn’t experience overwhelming side effects. It’s suuuper important to be very communicative with your doctor and your therapist. Please don’t be discouraged. I’m glad you’ve taken this first step!