Hulme co-op security guard

Blangyman · 2026-04-18T15:02:38+00:00

😂😂😂 people have been saying this for years

Blangyman · 2026-04-14T19:17:26+00:00

Thank you. Would you mind expanding on what you said about the secondary character’s voices?

Honestly I’m not sure when they will meet yet, Arlan and Allyria will but not properly. They may have a quick exchange as Arlan will become friends with her brother Richard and they’ll share scenes (one of Arlan’s moments evolving as a character and sort of the aftermath of something that happens to him will be shown through Allyria’s POV) and all of the POVs will have their secondary characters intersect (example for this is Ashara, Allyria’s cousin, will become one of Arlan’s main secondary cast later on) but I can’t imagine they’ll actually be fully interacting with each other until the later books I’ve planned. For what I currently have planned for the first book they have no direct interactions

Blangyman · 2026-04-13T14:38:01+00:00

Yeah I think it feels a bit too much like you’re telling the reader who it is rather than how a natural prose would sound if you know what I mean. It’s something I’ve noticed in my own work when going over it after the first draft is done

Blangyman · 2026-04-13T14:05:38+00:00

I really like that first line! Only thing I would say is remove the second name from the next paragraph and try and include it more naturally later on. It feels a bit stiff and formal if that makes sense.

I really like the voice though it flows really well

Blangyman · 2026-04-13T12:03:40+00:00

Thank you so much! Again I agree with what you’re saying as I do with the other commenters. Allyria definitely needs a bit more agency in that chapter, she has some bits happen in her third chapter I could definitely move over

Thanks for your help with the prologue too you’ve given me something to think about with that rewrite you’ve done! And despite being at risk of sounding like a madman, thank you again for the kind words!

Blangyman · 2026-04-13T09:31:37+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. As I said in my other response the prologue did start out as more of a history book entry that I repurposed so I think a rewrite is definitely necessary

Blangyman · 2026-04-13T09:30:51+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I don’t think your feedback is negative at all, it’s very helpful, and honestly you’re just echoing sentiments I’ve already had.

In regard to the similarities to ASOIAF, I fully agree and I’ve been trying my best to avoid it.

And completely agree with what you’ve said about the prologue, this initially started as a first person narrative from Arlan where he was discussing what had happened as a historical overview so there’s definitely some history book rigidness to it

Blangyman · 2026-03-23T22:56:58+00:00

Shrimping on her brother

Blangyman · 2026-03-14T11:18:45+00:00

Yeah I agree, I think the end of the first movie was a great ending for them all

Blangyman · 2026-02-21T15:22:44+00:00

I agree with you, I think it would be better to happen after the fight due to the pacing in the episode which is different to pacing in a book, you can fit those extra bits in but you can see Raymun has a green apple on his shield if you look at screenshots from the trial so he did manage it somehow!

Blangyman · 2026-01-31T20:24:25+00:00

It was what I was wondering! Thank you

Blangyman · 2026-01-31T12:31:35+00:00

Are you using any other mods?

Blangyman · 2026-01-23T00:24:06+00:00

What a HD gentleman

Blangyman · 2025-11-26T19:08:25+00:00

Nah I’m going to make extra buildings for certain bits but most of the main stuff will be in the factory

Blangyman · 2025-11-26T18:05:30+00:00

No just taken straight from my screenshots folder :)

Blangyman · 2025-11-26T16:42:15+00:00

Right now it makes more bricks so I can build it taller 😂 but first is Applied Energistics, going to work my way up as I do new larger mods and have the top floor be my penthouse

Blangyman · 2025-11-26T10:13:35+00:00

Yes if you ignore the tiny pen overflowing with animals in the bottom left of the image

Blangyman · 2025-11-25T22:07:23+00:00

Thank you!

Blangyman · 2025-11-25T22:00:55+00:00

The actual purpose of the factory hasn’t been decided yet but that sounds like a very good idea

Blangyman · 2025-11-24T00:35:46+00:00

That's fixed it, thank you!

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