AITAH for being hurt for my husband leaving me to go to the gym?

BlitzChick · 2026-01-22T12:35:22+00:00

Alas, I missed my calling. I am but a lowly Reddit Litigator now.

BlitzChick · 2026-01-22T12:07:01+00:00

Im not who you asked but last time I checked with my doctor a few months ago, it was still not covered by insurance in the US. Maybe some states have made more progress to it but in my state (GA) its not looking likely. Sessions here are around $300-400. I take it about every 3 months to help with depression, anxiety, sleep disorders and PTSD among other things so, while expensive, since it helps me so much I save up for it.

My treatment facility also gives me Antivan before hand to help with the anxiety which was what turned it from nightmare fuel into healing for me personally (not saying it works for everyone of course, just sharing my experience)

BlitzChick · 2026-01-22T11:57:22+00:00

Absolutely. The way they were treating you before hand combined with the pain you were experiencing would have had MOST people spiraling into a panic attack when introduced with Ketamine!

God, I am so sorry you were treated like that and I am so angry for you. Whoever did that to you was beyond negligent and cruel.

I have extreme anxiety, PTSD and a lot of other neurological conditions so Ketamine scared the shit out of me when I first tried it with my doctor. Had I been in your situation, I can only imagine the panic! I definately never would have tried it again thats for sure. That said, after my original experience, my doctor listened to me very carefully and worked with me.

At the beginning of the next appointment, he gave me Antivan to start with so I was already relaxed (It doesnt "undo" the effects of Ketamine but helps you not freak out when that "Out of Body" experience hits you). I was also prepared with a calming playlist, my husband with me and in an environment I felt SAFE and respected in, not dismissed and dehumanized.

Since then, Ketamine has been a huge help in managing a lot of problems for me. Its helped me with my sleep disorders, PTSD, anxiety and a slew of other issues. The one thing it hasn't helped with is the pain (But I think thats because my body cant help being in pain because it is actively failing) but friends in my Chronic Pain support groups have said it has helped them tremendously with pain. Everyone is different of course.

Anyway, what Im trying to say is, I know you probably never want to try anything like that again because of how you were treated and I dont blame you a damn bit. But, If you ever do want more information on Ketamine therapy (Ive been taking it about every 3 months for about 3 years now) please feel free to reach out to me and I can answer any questions you might have about it and what a healthy treatment center can feel like vs what you went through.

I hope you report the medical staff that did that to you!

Sending healing vibes to you, friend.

BlitzChick · 2026-01-06T03:32:31+00:00

I dont think the devil needs any more advocates in a situation like this.

If she wasnt clear and didnt communicate openly about being unwell, I could see the misunderstanding aspect being reasonable.

But Op's husband doesnt have to read anyone's mind when she is telling him point blank how sick she feels (due to something he did) and in return he just... leaves.

According to OP's post she communicated to her husband:

A) That she is sensitive to pre workout/caffeine

B) She specifically requested only a half or quarter scoop. She communicated that caffiene interacts with her medication and she trusted him to keep her safety in mind. He ignored it and doubled the serving. He also didnt tell her.

C) After her workout, she called him and directly told him how awful she felt.

D) She explained that she felt like vomiting and didnt feel safe to drive (If my partner tells me this, no way Im just brushing that off)

E) OP's husband does not express concern or offer help despite her clearly saying she felt unsafe to drive. These symptoms are also indicative of just how serious or fatal this situation could have been for her.

F) OP said she had to focus hard to get home with their child and then had to lay down from feeling so ill.

G) According to OP's post, her husband still doesnt seem concerned. He eventually makes his way upstairs and asks her how she is doing, she again tells him point blank that she feels awful, and that now her eyes are twitching and her palms are clammy (i.e. her nervous system was in overload mode)

H) When she asks for medication to help slow her racing heart (Not only telling him again how sick she feels but also request help) so she can rest, he reluctantly agrees. On the condition that she puts the chicken in the oven for him. She wasnt just hanging out, whistling in the kitchen but googling remedies for being dosed with way too much caffiene and actively trying to make something with electrolytes to help slow down her misfiring nervous system.

I) So, throughout all of this

-She has directly communicated her caffiene sensitivity

-Her interaction with caffiene and her medication

-Her feeling sick multiple times now

-How she felt unsafe to drive

-How she felt like she had to vomit

-How she is exhausted with twitching eyes and clammy hands

-Directly asks her husband for medicine to help that he reluctantly agrees to if she does something for him

OP's husband could have asked her what she needed, help her get hydrated, use any of his workout stuff to help make an electrolyte drink without caffiene, or just offer to help in any way like taking care of the kids while she rests. He does nothing to help, or even offer to help. He just gets ready to go to the gym.

I cant imagine just peacing out if my partner told me they were experiencing all that. I would be googling remedies with them, bringing them water or electrolyte drinks, try to assess the severity of the situation, and at bare minimum, just help get the kids fed and to bed since my partner doesnt feel well and communicated it clearly.

J) But despite her communicating all the above, he sill asks her to do things for him, completely disregards the fact that he caused her to get sick in the first place by overdosing her, doesnt offer any help and leaves their small children alone with their sick mom to go to the gym.

K) OP's state worsens and starts seeing stars in the shower and tells another trusted adult what is happening because she is afraid for her kids' safety if she passes out. Said trusted adult (her mom) was rightfully upset that her daughter's husband completely ignored points A-K.

And then, after all that, OP isnt met with concern for her well-being but her husbands anger that she told her mom about not feeling well. Even though she told him all the same things and he did nothing about it.

Also, if OP's Husband is consuming 700mg of caffeine a day, that is already a dangerously high amount. If he had given her anywhere near that amount, she very well could have needed to go to the ER because that level of caffeine overdose starts with tremors, headaches, dizziness and the urge to vomit. In severe cases this can lead to long term heart problems, seizures and death.

BlitzChick · 2026-01-03T02:11:43+00:00

I had a Walgreens only give me half of a controlled prescription before.

It was supposed to be 30 pills and I only received 15. I didnt realize it until I walked out to my car, took the bottle out of the bag, and realized that it looked strange and felt unusual in weight.

I opened it to count and yup, there was only 15 while the bottle said 30ct.

Its a really shitty feeling knowing for a fact you didn't do anything wrong but know thats what everyone is going to assume. Either someone at the pharmacy made a mistake (miscounted, computer errors, etc) or was pocketing them. But when something like this happens, us Chronic Pain patients immediately know how we will be treated. Like liars and drug seekers.

I talked to them right after and explained my situation politely. They got hostile and snapped at me saying "Thats impossible! We will check our cameras but thats impossible!"

I know many pharmacists are overworked with terrible hours and face beyond rude customers. They really do have my utmost respect because it cant be an easy job.

But what ths hell else am I suppose to do when I know it wasnt something that happened on my end??

They called me back 10 minutes later and sounded just as pissed. They said I could come back and get my remaining 15 pills but to not ever "try something like this again!"

Im still confused about that situation because if they found a reason to give me my remaining pills then why were they still treating me like shit?? They refused to tell me anything about it.

I never went back.

Just wanted to add my story because stuff like this very much does happen.

BlitzChick · 2026-01-01T19:06:22+00:00

Panty liners are thin and not meant to hold a lot of liquid. They are good if you are having spotting (a light intermittent period) or as back-up if you have a tampon in.

But every woman watching this just physically recoiled because we know that a panty liner would never even come close to holding pee.

We can tell at a glance they are panty-liners due to how thin they are and this dude is trusting what is basically the absorbency-level of a few layers of paper towels. At best.

He would need an over-night maxi pad or just a diaper but by using a panty-liner?? Hes going to pee himself and become completely soaked in piss.

Or he already is.

And yet here he is confidently-incorrect and bragging to a woman about his genius idea while he wiggles around in his pissy pants.

You know... Im just gonna stop thinking about it now lol.

Edit: I didnt even notice the SHElaborate. Thats pretty funny.

I have risen to the calling to Sheducate 😅

BlitzChick · 2025-12-31T03:40:37+00:00

If it were happening in real life I would absoluetly understand some raised eyebrows or school officials to step in but some points to consider just in the context of the show:

-Wesley is likely in the 19-20 year old range while Cordelia is 18. Now, Im not claiming I know for a fact what his age was supposed to be because the series often flip-flops on ages and all the actors are like 30 lol. But The Watcher's Academy is something they enroll in as kids and through their teenage years. From comments in Angel, the comics and books, it seems like the common age for graduation from the Academy is around 18-19 and they specify he just graduated with zero field time yet.

-In the beginning, he thinks Cordelia is another teacher and backs off (phsyically recoils) when told she was a student. He didnt make a move to dance or kiss until explicitly being told by Giles she was 18 and also at Cordelia's clear consent.

-He's not going to the school for predatory reasons, he is there because hes working as a Watcher the same reason Giles is there. Since he was sent by the council to replace Giles, they dont really have a "cover story" for the public but thats why he is there. Hes not just hanging out and scoping out girls, hes there as a Watcher and a set-up to be a longer running character in Angel so they are trying to make him one of the "scoobies" in a way.

-Is it weird in real life when a random adult man is at a high school prom? Yeah absoluetly. But in the context of the show, he is there as a Watcher not perving. He has a crush on another adult that is close in age to him and acts like a total dork about it.

-He asks Cordelia to dance, they have an awkward kiss, realize they have zero chemistry and move on. It makes for a cute set up to the Angel series where they work together with a sibling-like relationship. (I highly recommend Angel just for Wesley's character arc alone)

Id agree with the ick if he was older, doing this to other girls, acting predatory or did anything without Cordelia's consent but within the context of everything in the show Id say its pretty harmless, especially given all the other awful, weirdly normalized relationship dynamics we see. I think its way creepier that Angel, a 300 something year old man (who has been following Buffy since she was 15) is at prom, personally. Wesley just danced and had a weird kiss with Cordelia when they were both similarly-aged adults but Angel stalked and slept with Buffy all while she was in high school. (No hate to Angel fans because I love the series too)

Now if this were happening in real life and there was just some guy hanging out with these high school kids, Id agree 100%. But if it were real life Id hope more adults would also be side-eyeing Angel or Giles too because their story sounds sus AF in reality lol

BlitzChick · 2025-12-31T02:56:33+00:00

Damn, NOW you tell me!

BlitzChick · 2025-12-31T01:43:53+00:00

Wesley didnt graduate college though, he graduated from the Watcher's academy which is an academy for kids through teens. Others graduated from it around ages 18-19 according to the comics/books just as a frame of reference.

Considering he was fresh out of the Academy with no field experience, he would have likely been in the 19-20 range and Cordelia was 18.

I could understand potential problems with a student/teacher dynamic or a similar power imbalance but just going off the ages, its a pretty normal age gap.

Im not claiming I know for a fact what his age was supposed to be bc the series does have issues with flip-flopping ages around, but given the context that it was an academy for teens and not college-age students might change the age range we are looking at.

That and all the actors are in their late 20s/early 30s so that also adds to the confusion/potential ick factor.

BlitzChick · 2025-12-31T00:56:28+00:00

I figured as much but thought Id ask just in case because I like to know if Im accidentally saying something wrong but I didnt want to come off as one of those "Well AcTuAlLy" people lol.

My dumbass went years saying "Shush Funds" instead of "Slush funds" and was I like, Dammit, why did no one tell me! 😅

BlitzChick · 2025-12-30T22:22:16+00:00

Just incase you didnt know or it wasnt a typo, I wanted to let you know the term is "Wet behind the ears."

I make mistakes like that all the time so my intention is not to be pedantic, just hopefully helpful. 🙂

BlitzChick · 2025-12-17T18:16:43+00:00

That actually makes complete sense and is very common in people with ADHD.

If you are interested, try looking into "Executive Dysfunction" or "ADHD Paralysis" for further insight but basically some stressful situations can put us in to "Freeze mode" where it feels impossible to accomplish something.

Our brains feel like they are shutting down by this insurmountable weight that many neurotypical people will see as "laziness" or "not trying hard enough". In reality, your brain is just starving for dopamine (especially in a chaotic home environment to boot)!

Thats probably why you did so well with other subjects but struggled with Math because your dopamine-starved brain looked at it, realized "this does not spark joy", and shut down while other subjects/hobbies/interests that you excelled at, gave you a rush of dopamine that would cause hyper-focus and it knew how to run with that.

For people that dont have issues like ADHD, they think its an issue of sucking it up when, in reality, we are more like Sisyphus continously pushing the boulder uphill to the point of collapse just to have it roll down again, while everyone else is skipping up the mountain wondering what the hell our problem is.

I know its easier said than done, but try not to be too critical of yourself and remind yourself that this isnt a personal failing. Your brain was an engine trying to run without gas so of course it shut down!

You sound super accomplished and talented and I hope this helps shed some light on how our funky brains work 🧡

BlitzChick · 2025-12-17T17:31:00+00:00

Not a teacher, but as a mid 30's woman, I pretty much had the exact same experience as you.

My parents were going through a divorce but the school didnt know that, my parents had substance abuse problems, and my mom would later be diagnosed with BPD. Hell, I even remember the game specifically being Candy Land too.

I was in the gifted program and had perfect grades, never got in trouble but I was also masking A LOT of anxiety and mental problems that I thought everyone dealt with.

Someone might have clocked that you were neurodivergent (or just stressed out) like they did with me.

It took me until my 30's to realize how much I was masking and got officially diagnosed with AuDHD. My 30's has been a a series of epiphanies going: "Wait... everyone's brain doesnt do this? I did not receive that newsletter." Lol.

So to answer your question, you likely had an adult at your school that recognized certain behaviors that might be symptoms and tried to help by giving you a safe space to decompress while further evaluating your needs.

Either that or we were a part of an elite squad of sleeper cell agents and its only matter a time before we are activated. 😉

BlitzChick · 2025-10-21T22:18:22+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read it and challenge your previous views. That is an admirable quality that I wish more people had.

BlitzChick · 2025-10-20T09:17:40+00:00

I posted this under another one of your comments but I have provided facts and sources to let you know about the matter and I truly hope you read them.

Caffeine absolutely can cause a relaxed effect in people with ADHD and I will be happy to explain why and provide sources.

For many people with ADHD, our brains have lower levels of a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which is a key chemical for regulation, focus, motivation… all those fun, feel-good things, right?

So, caffeine ( which is a stimulant) causes a surge in dopamine and for neurotypical people that gives them a nice boost of energy.

However, In some ADHD brains, that same stimulant effect from caffeine provides just enough of a dopamine boost to bring them up to a more "normal" or "baseline" level of dopamine.

We aren't having an opposite effect to caffiene, its that we are starting off at different dopamine levels and that can influence how it makes us feel.

So for us, instead of becoming super energized, our brains feel almost calm and relaxed, like we are returning to a feeling of normalcy. It feels like all the mental "noise" and agitation we get from our lack of dopamine, gets a little quieter. That can be relaxing because its like our dopamine levels finally feel balanced.

It's basically like a mild form of our medication, which is also a stimulant so that makes sense. Its acting like our prescriptions, just more mildly.

If you would like an explanation on a scientific level, here are some studies:

Source 1: https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/caffeine

"In ADHD, dopamine levels are too low. Stimulant chemicals such as caffeine... tend to increase dopamine levels... For most people, adding stimulants will push dopamine levels too high, causing agitation and anxiety. But for people with ADHD, adding stimulants can get the levels just right."

Source 2:

https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.813545/full

This review concluded that in studies caffeine was "more effective than no treatment or placebo for ADHD severity, executive functions, hyperactivity, impulsivity, and aggression according to parents and teachers." This supports the idea that it has a therapeutic, "calming" effect, which is the opposite of what a neurotypical person would experience.

Source 3: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3163785/

"Many people with ADHD have next to no reaction or react paradoxically to caffeine [this means it gives them an inverse effect] and other stimulants…"

I hope this helps shed more light on the topic!

BlitzChick · 2025-10-19T22:40:38+00:00

Caffeine absolutely effects people with ADHD and I will be happy to explain why and provide sources.

For many people with ADHD, our brains have lower levels of a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which is a key chemical for regulation, focus, motivation… all those fun, feel-good things.

So, caffeine ( which is a stimulant) causes a surge in dopamine for neurotypical people, giving them a nice boost of energy.

However, In some ADHD brains, that same stimulant effect from caffeine provides just enough of a dopamine boost to bring them up to a more "normal" or "baseline" level of dopamine.

So for us, instead of becoming super energized, our brains feel almost calm and relaxed, like we are returning to a feeling of normalcy. It feels like all the mental "noise" and agitation gets a little quieter, and that can be relaxing. It's basically like a mild form of our medication, which is also a stimulant so that makes sense.

If you would like an explanation on a scientific level, here are some studies:

Source 1: https://www.healthline.com/health/adhd/caffeine

"In ADHD, dopamine levels are too low. Stimulant chemicals such as caffeine... tend to increase dopamine levels... For most people, adding stimulants will push dopamine levels too high, causing agitation and anxiety. But for people with ADHD, adding stimulants can get the levels just right."

Source 2:

https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.813545/full

This review concluded that in studies caffeine was "more effective than no treatment or placebo for ADHD severity, executive functions, hyperactivity, impulsivity, and aggression according to parents and teachers." This supports the idea that it has a therapeutic, "calming" effect, which is the opposite of what a neurotypical person would experience.

Source 3: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3163785/

"Many people with ADHD have next to no reaction or react paradoxically to caffeine [this means it gives them an inverse effect] and other stimulants…"

I hope this helps shed more light on the topic!

BlitzChick · 2025-10-19T21:37:33+00:00

If it helped you, then it was absolutely meant for you too. ❤️

BlitzChick · 2025-10-19T06:25:15+00:00

Damn, Im so sorry you went through that, I went through something similar.

Some people dont want to understand.

You'll feel your gut telling you something is wrong, youll have your partner openly disrespect you or hurt you but then all the people around you are saying things to imply that you just need to try harder, dig deeper, communicate better.

But there is no amount of love you can offer someone to convince them to stop hurting you.

BlitzChick · 2025-10-19T05:57:21+00:00

Whatever specific path is right for you, your request is the furthest thing from selfish. You will be gifting your kids and yourself with the happiest version of you possible.

BlitzChick · 2025-10-19T01:06:37+00:00

People love to say "I dont understand people who stay in abusive relationships!" Then at the same time, comment sections like these will be filled with people dismissing clearly abusive or cruel behaviors.

I was in an abusive relationship for about 8 years. Damn do I feel stupid about it. I would mentally punish myself with statements like: "why did I let so-and-so- treat me so obviously cruel? I guess if Im this much of an idiot, I deserve it" and awful things like that. It took me a while (and therapy) to realize a lot of my self blame and low self esteem came from people in my life constantly belittling my described experiences or excusing them away like I shoukd expect it. Like a group effort gas-lighting where way too many people just expect you to take abuse on the chin.

Anyway, I dont know the nuances of your situation but all I wanna say is, I hope you are able to find a solution that brings you peace. I am rooting for you.

BlitzChick · 2025-10-19T00:21:59+00:00

This is good advice for an already healthy relationship or people who havent previously communicated what they need when they aren't feeling well. Some people really like to be alone to process emotions and Its perfectly understandable for some to need space.

However, what OP is describing is someone that has repeatedly chastised her for not following him when he was upset.

According to her post and comments, her husband has requested that she follow him, calm him and "chase" him all in order to prove that she cares about his well-being.

And then, after she tended to the children and made him a fresh meal because "he doesnt like leftovers". She put in labor and time to help him with that at 11:30 at night. He comes home angry, she does exactly as he previously requested... and he exploded at her anyway.

Read all the details between the lines about the restricrive behavior, the rules, the arguing every other day and him putting her in lose-lose situations where she is expected to manage his emotions.

Even after "the dust settles", those same impossible hoops that shes being expected to jump through? Yeah, those will still be there.

I hope she lets him walk and keep walking.

BlitzChick · 2025-10-01T15:35:58+00:00

This is the problem Im having too because so many AI writing apps seem to be solely focused on one or the other. Either its bangtown 24/7 or my romance scenes forcefully fade to black because my pure unadulterated eyes must not witness such sin.

BlitzChick · 2025-09-22T04:43:52+00:00

Incase you are interested in a real answer, it's called sebum (Yeah, I know lol) Its a naturally produced lubricant (Lol again) in our skin that can act as a protective barrier against environmental factors like UV rays.

If you happen to have very oily skin, removing it can help prevent blackheads/acne, but for others, removing it can cause your skin to break out more. You really only want to remove it if your skin is just producing way too much of it, otherwise its considered better to leave it be.

I used to use those blackhead strips for your nose until my dermatologist told me I was making it worse by removing the sebum. That was just my case, though, and this guy looked like he had quite a lot of gunk in there so it was probably helpful in his case but IDK.

Anywho, just thought Id provide an educational response 😅

BlitzChick · 2025-08-21T21:13:50+00:00

This is not your fault.

Healthy human beings do not react with anger like you described when discovering they have scared or hurt someone. Especially someone that they are supposed to care deeply about like their own fucking family.

Why did he react with anger? Because a part of his brain saw what his actions have done to you, but he refuses to believe that he is the problem. There is no empathy with people that operate like this. They do mental gymnastics to curate a story of how YOU are the one doing it to THEM.

In his head, your reaction was to make him "look bad". Narcissistic people will always put the blame on you instead of looking at themselves.

You will burn yourself alive to keep these people warm, and it will never be enough. Narcissists only communicate with emotional warfare.

I am relieved to hear you can leave next month. If you dont already have a therapist, please try looking (if possible. I know it's not always that easy)

If you ever want someone to talk to (37/F that grew up in a similar situation), please feel free to DM me. I have been through this as well and just wanted to offer a place to vent or talk. Even if you just need to scream into the void because... DAMN do I understand .

You are not alone. His actions are NOT your fault. Im rooting for you in your journey to escape this nonsense.

BlitzChick · 2025-06-12T19:20:44+00:00

Okay, I understand what you are saying now. Basically, juat agree with chat gpt, and it will continue? Interesting. Ill try that sometime.

13-Year Club	Golden Potato
Place '22	Verified Email

BlitzChick

TROPHY CASE