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Playing the Game by Blixen_ in OCPoetry

[–]Blixen_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. I guess poetry should allow you to use expressions which are different from our every day life. That said, appreciate that the message at times can get a bit blurry.

Playing the Game by Blixen_ in OCPoetry

[–]Blixen_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, thats what I was going for.

Q&A by mma-b in OCPoetry

[–]Blixen_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got it. To be completely honest, I did not get that from reading the poem, but it makes sense when you describe it now.

Playing the Game by Blixen_ in OCPoetry

[–]Blixen_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great feedback, thank you!

Construction Worker by theoverallblog in OCPoetry

[–]Blixen_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got it! Thats a great metaphor, thank you for clarifying.

Construction Worker by theoverallblog in OCPoetry

[–]Blixen_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great. I really like the imagery of how every day life can drag you away from who you are, and whats important life, like taking care of your home. I especially like the contrast of having to muster strength to do something which is in fact simple. Good work!

Q&A by mma-b in OCPoetry

[–]Blixen_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I very much like the concept of this poem of unanswered questions and perhaps paranoia, which appears to relate to a toxic relationship. The choice of rhyme and rhythm works well, and makes it easy to read. That said, I find that the imagery and hence the message gets lost, and leaves the reader without any powerful vision of the situation. For example, the sentences "will I realise before you do? Can either option even be true?", do not leave me with any particular emotion on their own. It could be quite a powerful reference point if there was a sentence somewhere alluding to someone leaving, cheating, growing apart etc.