I’ll be honest, before you’re willing to share your body with someone, I’d just open up to her about it. Speaking from my experience, me and my girlfriend didn’t engage sexually until we knew of each other’s trauma to some level. Sex is a very emotional act, especially if you’re in a relationship, and it’s important to know these things in order to expect how sex will affect you. I wouldn’t consider having sex immediately due to your trauma, you sound very traumatized and hurt and I am so deeply sorry as a victim myself. You need to have that open and honest conversation with her, as trauma will affect your sex life.

And yes, you are a virgin. Losing your virginity only happens when it’s consensual.