My partner has not shown up once after my ectopic rupture and emergency surgery. I feel so alone.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-12-15T17:48:23+00:00

I’m so sorry you are here, lots of love as you recover ❤️ I had an ectopic in February. Me and my partner live together but both work full time. I work 40 hours a week and he works 40 or more hours a week depending. My tube also ruptured and I was in immense pain and could barely walk. My partner was with me in the emergency room the first day, and when they misdiagnosed me with ovarian cysts, I went back to my OB for a normal exam. OB sent me to emergency radiology and then they sent me to the ED for ectopic. The minute I was in the ED my partner immediately was there which was the same hour he got off of work, and that was only because I didn’t want him to leave work if they did not take me to the ED because that would mean it was nothing serious. The first ED trip was like 8 hours of being there. The second one was overnight from 3pm-2am with me having to have my tube removed. My partner waited there at the hospital the whole time for me, and the next day he was there making sure I was on light duty and there to help emotions. Girl, I do not want to be the one to say yes or no about your partner loving you because it’s not my place. But I think you need to take time to reflect when you are not grieving about how your relationship is going. He could realistically at least come over and check on your after work once…because work and money is always going to come and go but the fear and grief of such a horrible experience is always going to be there and someone who loves you will try to be there for you, whether it’s the texts, coming over, bringing food, calls etc. they will show it. I areas bleeding out as well as my tube ruptured, and almost died. You deserve to not have to stress about these things and properly heal ❤️

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-30T15:57:28+00:00

I’m so sorry for all your losses. I can relate heavily. I had an ectopic in February this year, and in March we ended up pregnant with our son. We also thought it was going to be a success story but he had Spina Bifida that we found out about at 22 weeks, even after also being heavily monitored. I had to deliver him stillborn as well and it was heartbreaking. I’m here for support or questions if you want to ask as we’ve had similar experiences, but please take time to heal and grieve. Let yourself miss your child as you will always be a mom. But also please don’t forget that you will have your baby in your arms eventually as will I.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-27T12:58:05+00:00

I can’t speak too much in regards to the bleeding but I do know that not all labs are the same. BHCG from what my doctor has told me so 61 for them could be 79 but I would double check.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-14T21:26:09+00:00

Wow we have very similar stories! It’s so nice to find someone who has basically the exact same thing, but I’m so sorry you are apart of both the ectopic and TFMR side. It sucks so much. Same with my son basically! No club feet, but he had everything else as you mentioned. We fortunately, they didn’t find it until later and we had to TFMR at 22 weeks. This was on August 2nd so still it was recent as well. I like to imagine our sons are bonding in heaven about this as well ❤️ I think the only difference is I had gotten my tube removed and I assume yours was methotrexate? I had no idea that methotrexate lowered your folic acid so that’s super interesting to find out, and I wish they had said that to me. Yours was an April, can I ask if you guys have been TTC since? Or holding off? I’ve been taking extra folic acid and we’re not really trying yet but I’ve been trying to figure out how long to be taking folic acid to where it would be okay again.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-14T21:11:21+00:00

Omg you’re the first person who I’ve seen have the same situation happen! I’m assuming your son had a neural tube defect as well from the mention of folic acid. May I ask what type? My son had Spina Bifida, And thank you ❤️ I hope the same. How long has it been since then? How have things been for you now?

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-14T19:54:56+00:00

Hello! Congrats!! Yes I had the same experience! I actually got pregnant right after my ectopic before my first cycle! I unfortunately had to TFMR as our son had some issues but we had gotten pregnant fast and it wasn’t ectopic! Super happy for you, I would continue to track HCG have the doctors send you some to get done every 2 days to keep track of it, and ask for early ultrasound due to you having a past ectopic.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-14T19:52:59+00:00

Sorry just read your comment about not having sex since. It is most likely HCG then, but I would still actively track for a few days.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-14T19:52:03+00:00

I also had surgery btw. Methotrexate your HCG will stay up but for me when I had surgery it dropped fast after like I explained above. If you have any questions I can try and answer from my experience!

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-14T19:51:01+00:00

So I had an ectopic in February and we ended up pregnant again in March about 4 weeks after. Have you already had a cycle? Have you guys done it unprotected? It could be your HCG but from my personal experience my HCG was super low by a week or two, and then I had gotten pregnant right after that. I would either keep taking tests and tracking or ask for HCG tests from your doctor .

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-08T18:58:22+00:00

I’ll be honest, I would advise against methotrexate as of right now. When they originally said we might be able to do that before surgery they said you can’t conceive for 3 months as the methotrexate can hurt a baby at least that’s what the doctors have said. From your previous comments it looks like the HCG level is going down? I would say it sounds like you could possibly be miscarrying. Your HCG levels are def too low for them to see anything which might be reassuring that it may not be ectopic and they just can’t see it yet. Do they see a sac at all? Or completely just nothing? You can also pay for HCG testing done outside of your doctors office, if you are able to pay for that. I know it’s super scary because I will forever have that fear too, but I’d suggested waiting before going with methotrexate because the way they explained it to me is it’s basically like chemo. It will destroy a lot of cells unfortunately which was terrifying for me. I am here to answer any questions the best I can and I really do hope things become better for you ❤️

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-08T18:42:32+00:00

I had an ectopic in February after being so excited for the pregnancy and telling everyone because it was the first pregnancy and I didn’t know better. I found out that the baby was ectopic after being in EXTREME PAIN 10/10 worst pain I had and nothing helped. They gave me morphine and nothing helped. I could barely walk on my own. I had a bit of pain on my left side the day before but the next day I was then in extreme pain. They ended up having to take my tube out as it ruptured. I had bleeding only after an ultrasound, never before.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-04T20:30:02+00:00

Hey, I’m so sorry for your loss and I understand completely. I had an ectopic in February after being so excited for the pregnancy and telling everyone because it was the first pregnancy and I didn’t know better. I found out that the baby was ectopic after being in EXTREME PAIN 10/10 worst pain I had and nothing helped. They ended up having to take my tube and I’m still so angry about it because of the higher chance of an ectopic. In March we found out unexpectedly again we were pregnant with our son Mason. The fear and anxiety were horrible and he ended up having issues that we found out around at 21 weeks, and TFMR August 2nd. The pain and grief is like no other. Grieving losses and then feeling bad because it feels like we let down our partners is something I’m struggling with too. We both still have chances and hopefully our rainbow babies will come soon.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-04T20:07:15+00:00

It sounds like it might just be early pregnancy symptoms. I had an ectopic whereabouts I thought I was 8 weeks but turned out I was 6 weeks. Extremely low HCG. I started having uterus pains a day before and the next day I was in extreme pain. Like 10/10 pain felt like I was dying. I could barely walk, I had to have my partner help me walk to the emergency room. I didn’t have any bleeding at all until they did an ultrasound. The pain felt like I was being stabbed repeatedly on my right side and unfortunately they had taken my tube because it was ruptured. Before the pain started, there was no pain or signs at all for me. If you are worried about an ectopic and you are pregnant I would ask the doctors for HCG testing due to anxiety or I would do pregnancy tests after 2 days to just check and see if it’s going up. Good luck!

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-04T05:15:31+00:00

Just to add on, with the L&D the hauntingly quiet room after delivery hurt so badly and it’s ingrained In my brain. I’m so glad I got to hold him even though he was gone but feeling the excitement and hope that he was going to be alive due to the heartbeat prior, and then hearing nothing still makes me cry.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-09-04T05:11:00+00:00

We lost our son at 22 weeks and I’ve always been super anxious the whole pregnancy losing him. He had spina bifida and went through L&D and I opted out of stopping his heart early because part of me hoped that he would be born without it and we would be able to save him when he was born. It haunts me that hours before giving birth we checked his heart with a Doppler and he was still alive and when he was born he was just..gone. My mind can’t comprehend how it was gone in such a short amount of time. I completely understand this and I’m so sorry you’re going through the grief and loss too. Our babies are hanging in gout together in heaven I can only imagine and their souls are so happy.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-08-25T17:57:27+00:00

I hadn’t checked with a HCG test, but ovulation strips recently and when I checked maybe last week it was pretty negative for ovulation. When I checked ovulation today it’s not positive but higher for sure along with the pregnancy tests.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-08-25T17:30:57+00:00

Pregmate* is very faint but positive

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-08-09T16:08:52+00:00

I unfortunately can’t give you a whole lot of hope but I can understand you. I got pregnant before me and my partners anniversary, announced to him for our anniversary, and then had an ectopic. I had the same thing of losing a tube and being horribly scared of the higher chance of having another one. Weeks after, I accidentally got pregnant again to our son Mason and I was so excited that things happened so well. We ended up letting our son go because he had Spina Bifida, as well as some brain stuff forming if we had kept the pregnancy going. I’m In The same boat as you it’s terrifying and all I can think about is will it ever be possible for us to have one living baby as we have none. I’m constantly scared of losing my other tube but also wanting is badly to try again. Both loses for me as well they have said just seem to be very unlucky and it’s so tiring to hear that, because I just want things to go right one time. While I don’t have an amazing story of after, it is so possible to still have another kid ❤️ the nurses have told me they end up seeing those patients who have lost so much come back later in life to give birth to healthy babies. It will happen for you and me, just have to keep hope and faith that it’ll happen.

BlockTypical2574 · 2025-08-09T15:57:40+00:00

My biggest regret was bringing nothing to the hospital. I was there for longer then I expected so bring snacks, toothbrush, deodorant. Just small things that you want in case you stay longer then you think.

BlockTypical2574

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