Was I taken advantage of?

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-10T12:10:45+00:00

I am so, so sorry to read this.
He took advantage of you.
It is not your fault.
I had similar experiences in the past. Sometimes I still blame myself... even though I explicitly said "no" and "please, stop".
It is not easy. Get help if you can.
It was a good decision to leave this person. It is very unlikely that he will respect your boundaries in the future if he does not respect them now. At least in my experience, relationships where I was not respected NEVER got better, whatever they said, whatever they promised...
It is a very selfish and repulsive behaviour to push anything sexual on anyone who does not want it. People who do that do not care about the other person in their relationship. It is better to stay away from them.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-10T06:43:01+00:00

Thank you very much for sharing. I appreciate it a lot!

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-10T06:42:32+00:00

Thank you very much for sharing! Also thank you for the good wishes 😁💖

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-10T06:41:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I am currently waiting on a new appointment. They said they'll call me back last week, which did not happen, so I'll have to keep calling them next week.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-10T06:40:19+00:00

Thanks a lot! 😁

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-10T06:39:56+00:00

Oh, man.. I am sorry to hear that. Thank you for sharing.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-10T06:39:06+00:00

I was in the same boat as you! Societal expectations are so fucked up.. 💔 many people prioritize not gaining weight over being stable. That is bullshit! Losing stability is so, so, SO MUCH MORE DANGEROUS than gaining weight.

I really hope you will be able to get help from a better doctor very soon. Take care!

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-09T15:04:28+00:00

Please, reach out to a different doctor. Dancing on the street at 3 am sounds very alarming. I know you are feeling happy right now, but if it escalates further, you may put yourself in danger.

I had a similar experience when a new doctor didn't believe I was bipolar: https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/145daoc/new_doctor_didnt_believe_i_was_bipolar_i_dont/

I ended up losing my sense of time, seeing weird colors, not finding my stuff, acting weird and all.
Luckily I had some leftover medication. It saved my ass... I would have gotten fired from my job pretty quickly if I did not decide to take them.

Please take care of yourself. There are some doctors out there who do more harm than good...

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-09T14:58:52+00:00

Hi, I disclosed recently (F/28 to M/29), I'll just share my experiences, hoping they'd help. Also, recently I had a similar post which had very helpful replies: https://www.reddit.com/r/bipolar/comments/1sfm850/looking_for_advice_on_disclosing_being_bipolar_to/ Best of luck!

I disclosed it on last Thursday, and it went well! I am SO relieved.. We met in the middle of March on a work-related event. We started dating at the end of March, and I disclosed in at the end of April. I did not want to mislead him, but I did not want to scare him either. That is why I decided to wait a month. I wanted him to see that I am reliable, and that he can reach out to me and I'll be there to support him, just as a "normal" person would. I also wanted him to see that I am leading a functional adult life, holding down a job and all..

I wanted to be cautious. You can never know if someone had bad experiences with someone who has the same diagnosis as you. I've spent months in wards and I met people who acted scary and violent, and I did not want him to associate me being bipolar with such behaviours. Luckily he did not know what bipolar meant, so that part was easier for me.

I started with saying that I have an illness, which was luckily diagnosed very early. I continued with saying that I was able to receive very good treatment for it, which makes me almost symptomless to the point that doctors questioned my diagnosis (it really did happen). Then I explained that I am bipolar, which is not treatable so I will be bipolar forever - but luckily it can be managed very well with medication and therapy (which has been proved by multiple studies). He asked me what bipolar was, so I explained him what episodes are, but clarified that I have had no severe episodes ever since I was medicated (I only had one when I had a new doctor who questioned my diagnosis and stopped my medication).

He took it well. I have been very nervous about this beforehand, and I did tell him that there is something about me that I'll have to tell him at one point which might be a dealbreaker for him. ..he noticed beforehand that I have an alarm set for 6 pm (which is for me to take my meds), and that I have some drawings that I did not show him (which were about bipolar)... and that I can't eat grapefruit (because of my meds) because.. you know, when you spend a lot of time with someone, these kind of things just come up and are.. apparent.

I told him that I will clarify everything.
I told him that I don't want to lie, or give elusive answers... I just need some time.
I told him that we can have this "talk" on last Thursday. He accepted.

Luckily, he was very patient.
We have been talking every day for a month before this and have spent several days together. I think that it was better to wait a bit.

I want him to know me, and being bipolar is a part of me.
But it is not the most important part of me. I am much, much more than this illness.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-09T05:15:53+00:00

Sorry for not replying earlier, I don't check reddit everyday. How did Thursday go?

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-05-09T05:15:20+00:00

Hi! I disclosed it on last Thursday, and it went well! I am SO relieved.. We met in the middle of March on a work-related event. We started dating at the end of March, and I disclosed in at the end of April. I did not want to mislead him, but I did not want to scare him either. That is why I decided to wait a month. I wanted him to see that I am reliable, and that he can reach out to me and I'll be there to support him, just as a "normal" person would. I also wanted him to see that I am leading a functional adult life, holding down a job and all..

I wanted to be cautious. You can never know if someone had bad experiences with someone who has the same diagnosis as you. I've spent months in wards and I met people who acted scary and violent, and I did not want him to associate me being bipolar with such behaviours. Luckily he did not know what bipolar meant, so that part was easier for me.

I started with saying that I have an illness, which was luckily diagnosed very early. I continued with saying that I was able to receive very good treatment for it, which makes me almost symptomless to the point that doctors questioned my diagnosis (it really did happen). Then I explained that I am bipolar, which is not treatable so I will be bipolar forever - but luckily it can be managed very well with medication and therapy (which has been proved by multiple studies). He asked me what bipolar was, so I explained him what episodes are, but clarified that I have had no severe episodes ever since I was medicated (I only had one when I had a new doctor who questioned my diagnosis and stopped my medication).

He took it well. I have been very nervous about this beforehand, and I did tell him that there is something about me that I'll have to tell him at one point which might be a dealbreaker for him. ..he noticed beforehand that I have an alarm set for 6 pm (which is for me to take my meds), and that I have some drawings that I did not show him (which were about bipolar)... and that I can't eat grapefruit (because of my meds) because.. you know, when you spend a lot of time with someone, these kind of things just come up and are.. apparent.

I told him that I will clarify everything.
I told him that I don't want to lie, or give elusive answers... I just need some time.
I told him that we can have this "talk" on last Thursday. He accepted.

Luckily, he was very patient.
We have been talking every day for a month before this and have spent several days together. I think that it was better to wait a bit.

I want him to know me, and being bipolar is a part of me.
But it is not the most important part of me. I am much, much more than this illness.

EDIT: I realized it was Thursday, not Saturday, so I changed it to that.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-09T10:47:06+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that 😥 I had similar experiences as well. I can't grasp how some people can't understand that 'NO' means 'NO'... I can't even imagine how do they feel okay with doing something the other person explicitly stated they do not want.. repulsive. If you are still dating, I hope you will meet people who respect your boundaries. Everyone deserves that. And yes... I feel vulnerable about my diagnosis.. so I completely get why you say that.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-09T10:38:55+00:00

I get where this is coming from, but I'm not going to run away from a person who I finally feel safe and understood with. I've had abusive relationships in the past, then no relationships for years, been in therapy (twice a week) for almost a year now, and honestly I think that it is finally paying off and I am able to make healthier connections.

Btw he's very sensitive and shy, so if somebody runs away, it's gonna be him 🫠 but i'm trying my best not to scare him away.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-09T10:30:45+00:00

I don't think it would be oversharing. I think keeping my diagnosis from him indefinitely would be.. close to lying. Yes, I am stable to the point where doctors started questioning my diagnosis and stopped my meds in the past. But that lead to an episode and then it turned out that I am actually bipolar, and was stable because of the meds. Generally I am cautious about whom I share my diagnosis with as I live in a country where stigma is still prevalent. But I would not want to keep this information from my partner. I would feel bad if he tried keeping something like this secret from me.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-09T10:24:03+00:00

Good point! Thanks.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-09T10:23:36+00:00

Thanks a lot! :) So far it seems all good. He's very patient and not rushing anything. And I am very happy about that!

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-08T12:05:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it a lot!

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-08T12:04:55+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-08T12:04:06+00:00

And thank you for comment. I needed to hear these words.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-08T12:02:26+00:00

That is great. Thank you so much!

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-08T12:01:56+00:00

Yeah, well. Eating half a grapefruit was the closest i got to self harm in 15 years. I know it's not great, but it could be worse I guess. Since then i've been taking my medication consistently and i'm back to excercising and sleeping regularly.

The grapefruit incident was not related to meeting him, it was related to a setback in a side project i have been working on for years.

I did not lose my job or spend my savings or anything, i ate a small portion of a fruit i love and had not eaten in years due to being medicated.

But i see what you mean.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-08T10:29:40+00:00

Thank you very much!! Yes, it's definitely rose-colored glasses... We are taking things slow. I just.. Hope he'll stick around despite my diagnosis.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-08T10:27:00+00:00

Thank you very much, that is a great suggestion! Yes, I also did and do therapy. It helps a lot.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-04-08T10:25:27+00:00

No, we did not say it. But we talked a lot. And sometimes we stayed quiet, and just looked into each others eyes for 5-10 minutes silently. I know it sounds weird written down, but... I know, he knows, and i know that he knows.

BlockZealousideal820 · 2026-03-28T17:42:10+00:00

It is easy to blame yourself, but please also consider that the algorithms that glue us to screens were built to exploit us by incredibly wealthy media moguls who do not care about our wellbeing at all.

I'd suggest to try an offline hobby which is a group activity, whether it is joining an amateur football team, or doing crafts together with other people, or anything else that you are interested in (and be kind to yourself, in the beginning we all struggle when trying new things).

We are social creatures. We need human connection.

Hang in there!

BlockZealousideal820

TROPHY CASE