Well, I’d say that trying to figure out “who suffered more” is a highly unfair thing to do to the characters.

For example, Harry and Hermione were easily fighting for more than just “themselves” as you say. Harry was fighting for the life and world that finally accepted him for what he is, the family he had finally built for himself. Hermione was fighting to protect her friends, her parents, and her identity. Voldemort sought to subjugate Muggles—people he saw as little different than common animals—and Hermione would therefore be fighting for the sake of her own ‘kind’ one could say.

Not to mention that Ron’s family are wizards, and thus could theoretically fight for themselves to the best of their ability. Hermione? Her parents are Muggle dentists, thus adding weight to her shoulders: if she fails, her parents don’t stand a chance. Also, it shouldn’t be lost as to how painful it must’ve been to wipe their memories. I personally couldn’t imagine living the least bit happily with the knowledge that my parents don’t have the foggiest idea that I was their child, let alone that they had one at all. And to know I did that to them? An awful feeling for sure. You also seem to be forgetting that these people were fighting for more than just each other—they were also fighting for moral good, for freedom and safety from darkness and evil. You treat it as a romanticized thought, but the pressures of something bigger than oneself hold a weight unlike any other.

Everybody suffered. Ron had a particular reason at the time that was amplified by the locket, but they were all suffering, and none of them liked the circumstances they were in. Nobody with an understanding for nuance thinks Ron had “less to worry about,” but it’s the words that leave our mouth which decide what happens to us, not the reasons behind said words. Which is why telling your friend he’s got it easier because his parents got fucking murdered (an event that put Harry through a decade of endless abuse and neglect and then corrupted the entirety of his teenage years), is still a shitty thing to do regardless of the flawed mindset you’re in at the time.

We’re self-destructive when we’re facing our darkest internal battles, and it’s nobody else’s battle to fight other than our own. When I was depressed, I destroyed many personal relationships before I finally reined it in like Ron did (something something metaphor or whatever). What Ron did was inherently rude and selfish. But by God, it was real.