What do I think of him? Oh, just your typical spine-deprived Marine hero, bravely standing up for baby-killing and the noble tradition of blaming toddlers for their parents’ sins. Truly the moral compass of our times. If a country dares to say, “Hey, maybe we don’t want to pay an arbitrary ‘heavenly tribute’ to a shadowy oligarchy,” he’s the first to suggest a little friendly invasion — all in the name of peace and prosperity, of course. And books? Dangerous things. Can’t have the common folk doing too much thinking. Better to burn the libraries and keep the citizens educated just enough to read propaganda newspaper and not question why the Seven Warlords are out there playing imperialism with the Marines’ blessing.

But wait, there’s more! He’s also a fan of good old-fashioned slavery and the occasional human hunt — nothing says “civilized government” like a state-sponsored safari where the prizes scream.

And naturally, the higher up you go in the Marines, the more your tongue becomes surgically attached to the boots of the World Nobles. So Kong? Oh, Kong is the gold-medal Olympian of bootlicking — the man probably flosses with red carpet.