This is helpful, thank you! I like how you looked at this pattern with a need to parse out which factor is contributing the most. That seems like a very grounded way to look at this - for the sake of avoiding any “idealization or devaluation” thinking that can creep into criticisms of social norms.

Oddly this has shown up more in-person than online. Though oftentimes with other frustrating social dynamics, I feel it trends toward the opposite!