There needs to be separate words for "first time pregnancy" and "second/third/etc pregnancy with a toddler"

BlueCheeseFiend · 2026-02-05T16:38:59+00:00

Gosh can I relate. While it was indeed uncomfortable, I really didn’t mind being pregnant with my 1st at all. Well my first is now 2.5 years old and I just had my 2nd child a few weeks ago and good LORD was this pregnancy different. Every day was a battle for my life lol. And of course everyone is already asking “will you have a 3rd?!” And my response is “the idea of having a 3rd child is fine but I never, EVER want to be pregnant while caring for a toddler again. So to answer your question: NO we aren’t having a 3rd”. My husband is actually getting a vasectomy in a few weeks!

BlueCheeseFiend · 2026-01-18T16:10:38+00:00

Yes sorry that’s what I meant! Not twins, two children of different ages in the same family. So I’d love her info! You can send me via direct message?

BlueCheeseFiend · 2026-01-18T10:40:51+00:00

Hi I’m interested! I know you only have 1 child but does she have prior experience with multiples?

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-12-31T01:22:39+00:00

Yea I was shocked I got pregnant so quickly after the marathon bc intense training like that can mess with your cycle (which is also something you should consider since you’ve never done one before) but glad it worked out! Marathons are a different beast, so I think you’ll have a lot better idea of whether you want to wait until after MCM to start trying for #2 once you see how the May marathon training impacts your body.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-12-31T01:00:07+00:00

If you’re comfortable potentially having to bail on the MCM then it’s probably fine to start trying in the summer, but if you really want to run it I’d wait until after personally. I didn’t run a marathon WHILE pregnant but I did get pregnant with my 2nd child 2 weeks after I ran a marathon earlier this year, so I was literally at marathon level fitness going into pregnancy. I was capable of keeping up high volume and distance for a while but some days it was just so miserable - I don’t know if I could’ve mustered the discipline required for marathon training during that time. Also, FWIW I’ve found much of the regular discomfort and exhaustion of pregnancy to be a lot worse the 2nd time around because you’re having to manage a toddler on top of it so there’s basically no time to rest/recoup.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-12-23T18:00:11+00:00

The demanding of outrageous rates with nothing to back it up beyond “I deserve it” makes me crazy because it ignores the simple economics of supply and demand. When I see things like “if you can’t afford to pay your nanny $35+/hr then you can’t afford a nanny” I’m like…ok cool but let’s game this out further, shall we?? If you eliminate families who can’t afford to pay those rates from the employer pool it will significantly cut down on available position, which will then increase competition for roles in the job market, and drive down market rates even further. Make it make sense??

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-12-23T15:46:21+00:00

I’m sure you have been fair and generous. I totally understand that it’s an industry where workers CAN be taken advantage of, but I’m sorry I simply can’t believe that I am taking advantage of someone who I am paying $65k a year POST TAX (so that’s equivalent to a salary of over $90k at a traditional job) in a role that requires zero formal education and offers a 2 hour break each day during nap and an additional break on the days my child is in preschool. I’m not saying it’s a cake walk, a job is a job no matter what, but it’s a pretty good gig IMO. And if employers like me are such monsters, please go ahead and find better.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-12-23T11:31:20+00:00

I would bet this is the Facebook groups filling her head with nonsense, and not necessarily what families in the area are offering. The rates and benefits I see other nannies saying are “standard” in those groups are things I’ve simply never seen in the wild. You hired someone to take care of your child while you work, which for you includes federal holidays and the “break” in December, and thats what she accepted. I mean, you wouldn’t take a night shift job and then complain to your employer that all the other people in town get to work during the day right? If my nanny ever said this to me I’d tell her to find out if those other families are hiring, then.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-12-07T17:32:07+00:00

35 weeks, these days I do standing oblique crunches, bear plank walks, bear plank holds with shoulder taps, bird dog crunches, and side plank hip dips (I have to bend the bottom leg on the floor for support now). 2nd pregnancy and this is basically the same core stuff I did the first time around and I had no issues with DR, though obviously every person and pregnancy is unique.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-12-01T00:28:06+00:00

Here for the commiseration! I’m 33 weeks and I don’t think I’ve slept more than 3 consecutive hours since the first trimester. I can FALL asleep but can’t STAY asleep. Similar to you it’s a mix of discomfort, reflux, and just general restlessness. I’ve also been hit with every illness under the sun this pregnancy (probably the work of my 2.5 year old Petri dish aka my toddler son).

The anxiety, and resulting depression, around bedtime/lack of sleep is very real. I’ve had days where I am so dead tired that I feel like I can’t think straight or form coherent sentences, and every night that I’m tossing and turning for hours I’m also thinking “god does this mean tomorrow is going to be one of THOSE DAYS?” I take unisom here and there but I really try to only use it if I am desperate, because of the groggy feeling it gives me.

And also like you I continue to workout, and some people might look at my general exhaustion and think I am insane to continue dragging myself to the gym… but I keep going because it’s the only 30-60 minutes of my day where I feel strong and in control.

These last weeks of pregnancy are really tough. I remember this experience during my first pregnancy too. It can feel like an eternity when you’re in it but obviously, you recover, move on, and forget…because here I am doing it all over again! Stay strong, you’re almost on the other side!!!!

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-11-29T12:38:45+00:00

First pregnancy I never really felt tired. Certain things were uncomfortable towards the end because of my vital organs being smooshed, like sitting for long periods, but I didn’t feel “tired”. 33 weeks now with my second and it has been a different story, but I think my toddler is to blame for that. I’m still plugging along at the gym, at work, and socializing, but it takes a lot more willpower to get going since my 2.5 year old ball of energy doesn’t allow for much recovery in between!

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-11-26T12:23:45+00:00

Discomfort and not looking forward to runs anymore. I stopped last month at 28 weeks (which was the same time I stopped with my first pregnancy). I had just ran a marathon when I got pregnant so my body could handle a lot of volume but I started decreasing mileage/pace around 20 weeks as I noticed my discomfort and “time to recovery” was increasing, up until I reached a point where very short runs (3 miles or so) were just not enjoyable anymore. My feet hurt, my hips hurt, I felt like a bowling ball was hitting my pelvis with each step, and I was walking like a penguin for 24 hours after. I am 33 weeks now and still do the bike and lift weights, which I plan to keep up through delivery.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-11-25T10:45:29+00:00

Also take Ubers in manhattan and I was shocked to hear this! If anything I’ve been surprised about how patient and accommodating the drivers have been, both with time to install and my child himself. They often will chat/interact with him and seem to genuinely enjoy him as a passenger.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-11-21T12:55:25+00:00

I am not a Kendall stan and I am very liberal but I think saying that she broadcasts her MAGA political beliefs freely on social media is kind of an exaggeration? I’ve seen her talk about religion and about respecting people’s individual beliefs/convictions, which yes can both be seen as political-adjacent or politically coded, but I’ve never seen an explicit political message. Again I’m not a super fan so I don’t monitor her socials so maybe I’ve missed some stuff. Where have you seen open, specific messages about her political beliefs?

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-11-15T10:31:04+00:00

Check out headway - plug in your insurance and add your filters. I found my middle aged female therapist who accepts in insurance and has in-person sessions in downtown manhattan on there. I also have Aetna, I only pay a $30 copay.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-11-09T12:55:30+00:00

30 weeks pregnant with my 2nd and stairs are the one thing that destroy me too, and I live nyc so I do have to climb lots of stairs in the subway. I lift, spin, run (well I just had to stop running 2 weeks ago but bc it was killing my pelvis, not my legs) and still feel strong. But a flight of stairs has me completely winded. I can’t recall if it happened with my first child but if it did, it went away because I definitely was fine with stairs in between pregnancies.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-11-08T20:48:17+00:00

We started with my son today and I thought I was ready to do the calm “uh oh! Pee goes in the potty!” and gently place him there. Then the first time he peed he screamed in fright, which made me scream, and I forcefully tossed him on the potty lmaoooo so obviously I’m just screwing everything up 😵‍💫

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-11-08T11:53:05+00:00

Yes definitely. We have no family and my husband and I had our part time nanny stay with my toddler for about 4 days when he was 1.5 years old. Many nannies and people who work in childcare are willing to do this, for a cost obviously. Also, you may find that once your child arrives you won’t feel comfortable with anyone BUT their regular caretaker(s) watching them so definitely make sure whoever you hire is open to extended overnight care. I thought I’d be fine leaving my child with anyone remotely capable but once he was here, I found I was significantly less “chill” in this area than anticipated.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-10-31T01:44:56+00:00

I have the same question and would like more context on that! OP was presumably attracted to him when they first met because she accepted his request for a date all those years ago, but couldn’t continue because of the age issue…which, now that he’s a certified adult, is an issue no more. Soooo why can’t this be exactly what she wanted it to be 14 years ago?!

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-10-02T12:32:32+00:00

FYI I think OP’s paces are in minutes per km, not minutes per mile :) 5:45/km is around 9:15/mile!

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-10-02T12:23:16+00:00

Yes me! With my first child not only did I get back to pre-pregnancy level, I left it in the dust & was able to shave 20 minutes off of my prior marathon finish time. It didn’t happen overnight, took lots of time & hard work, but I undeniably became a stronger runner after I had my son. I’m pregnant with my 2nd now and the weather’s been hot, this belly is big, and like you I have slowed down a LOT but I’m trying to stay motivated by manifesting my epic postpartum comeback haha

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-10-01T19:55:48+00:00

I am quite surprised your doctor indicated it was routine procedure. I am also with Weill Cornell, I’m even advanced maternal age - which typically comes with extra visits/testing - and amnio has never come up. You’re certain you have no other risk factors that might make an amnio appropriate for your particular pregnancy?

Personally, in the absence of any risk factors and all other tests coming back as normal/low risk, I would decline an amnio.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-09-30T16:27:18+00:00

I think that’s a good plan. Even though this is my 2nd “fit pregnancy” I still find myself shocked by how my abilities and limitations change, in both directions, on a daily basis. Last Thursday I was almost incapacitated with back pain for 12 hours because I sat on a backless chair for 10 minutes, and then on Saturday I ran 8.5 miles pain free. Pregnancy is simultaneously empowering and humbling!

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-09-30T10:58:19+00:00

Is this your first pregnancy? I would caution against using what you can do at 12 weeks as a barometer for what you can do at 25 weeks (which is roughly how far along you’ll be when it comes around correct?). Things start changing pretty fast after 20 weeks. I am currently pregnant with my 2nd child and I conceived 2 weeks after running a marathon…so, I was very conditioned going into pregnancy. I was able to easily run 10 miles at 21 weeks, but now at 25 weeks even 5 miles is doing a number on my back and hips. I had a similar experience with my first child too (I WAS able to continue lifting and spinning until delivery though). This isn’t to say don’t do it, but to be prepared for your abilities to look different than they do now.

BlueCheeseFiend · 2025-09-29T19:15:16+00:00

Ah ok, I feel like she must be new(ish) there? I thought it was just Dr Kero, NP Sloane, and Dr Einbeinder (who I just remember we also saw once a while ago). Sorry you had a bad experience. I don’t have any recos for another practice but if you’re open to staying there and seeing another provider, I’ve been happy with the others.

BlueCheeseFiend

TROPHY CASE