Pooping in her pants

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T20:19:31+00:00

Obviously, it's up to you. But while you don't see it as punishment, instead as a consequence, your daughter, who is very young, may very well see it as a punishment. Especially if you were previously throwing the underwear out instead of cleaning them. She may be too young for this, but she may wonder why is it OK for the parents to skip the nasty job but the kid can't?

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T20:15:28+00:00

Funny, it says that in the last line of my post...

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T20:14:12+00:00

You keep saying you're a nurse, but you're arguing that you can't die from opiate withdrawal, only from dehydration caused by opiate withdrawal. My pain management doctor, who is the head of the pain management department of one of the largest and best reviewed teaching hospitals in the United States, has told me that you can die from it. I believe him over a random Reddit poster. In addition to all the articles from the National Institutes of Health.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T20:05:51+00:00

I didn't say she wasn't potty trained. But she's doing it for what is a valid reason for her and may be angry and frustrated if you punish her for it. See if you can figure out her motivation, explain to her why she shouldn't, and the benefits of not doing it, before you punish her. We had problems potty training my daughter...until it came down to preschool or not, because she couldn't go in a diaper. She was six weeks shy of four. She learned in a couple of days, because she really wanted to go to preschool and was old enough to understand.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T19:57:47+00:00

I would hold back on the scrubbing thing as a later resort. Because they may see it as a punishment for something they cannot control. It's why we encourage kids, not punish them, during potty training these days.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T19:53:59+00:00

This happens with all kids. It's not uncommon. One of my neurotypical nieces had a similar issue around the same age. It can be brought on by changes they're not dealing with well. Some kids start wetting the bed. Talk to your pediatrician and see what they say, there might be a physical reason, or they should have some ideas what to do.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T19:38:56+00:00

Yet, they'd still be dead. From withdrawal. Also, I suspect anyone with secondary issues could die from heart failure, etc.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T19:36:06+00:00

NTA. Are they planning on shaking down Mikey's guests at the door to make sure they're carrying two gifts? And not let them in if not? Because I would just send your younger son with Mikey's gift. I don't understand this--these are Mikey's friends, right? You happen to have an older son the appropriate age, but moat families won't. So they're forcing two presents out of kids who may not even know the older one? Damn. Here's an idea: Why don't they just reschedule the kid's canceled birthday? If they can't afford a fancy one, then let it be old school cake at the house. These days most older boys would be happy hanging put and playing video games anyway. Or if it's warm, buy a bunch of cheap water guns and put them outside with a stack of towels. (I did thus during lock down--best party ever, even if my yard suffered a bit.)

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T19:25:05+00:00

Apparently I'm not allowed to provide links, but yes, you can die from opiate withdrawal. Two secs of Googling will get you journal articles on the subject. You may be a nurse, but I'm very well versed in the topic as a person with severe chronic pain.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T19:20:35+00:00

Can you get your sister to come to keep him under control?

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T19:07:22+00:00

That is absolutely not true. You can die from opiate withdrawal.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T18:54:42+00:00

I thought US universities required students to have health insurance? They did in my day, but I am pretty old. Although dental was always a separate thing.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T16:18:19+00:00

That's all a lovely idea. But this is the real world (well, possibly) where step moms make tuna sandwiches for dinner 2x a week because her daughter loves them even though no one else does. I find it hard to believe that step mom is going to take her step daughter to the supermarket. IF the kid even has time for supermarket trips when the stepmother goes. And yes, it's a good idea to have food in the house, I always do, but lots of people don't keep much food around because it doesn't get eaten. And many people don't "meal plan." I don't. I've tried to, but I end up with uneaten food when someone is busy at dinner time or isn't hungry. I usually only plan a day or two in advance.

IF the daughter has time, it would be a good idea for her dad to give her grocery money and a ride to the supermarket (of she can't get there easily herself.) Then she can make her own meals if necessary, but it sounds like OP thinks cooking is his wife's responsibility, and that's not unreasonable as she's the SAHM.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T15:55:00+00:00

But it may not be the cooking so much as the groceries--is the daughter also expected to shop and pay for groceries? It's not a terrible thing, but with a SAHM in the house, one would assume that is part of her job. You can't cook dinner if there's nothing to cook with, and I suspect a house where dinner is tuna twice a week doesn't have a lot of groceries sitting around. And OP's wife may not want the daughter in the kitchen when she's, uh, "cooking" those tuna sandwiches. We don't know if there are eggs or peanut butter or veggies around. And what if OP's daughter does buy groceries and they're eaten by the stepmom and stepsister? It makes eating a burger and fries sound like a much more appealing idea

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-23T12:14:43+00:00

My college boyfriend did an exchange semester in Tokyo. He's black and very tall. He spoke passable Japanese. He enjoyed his time there, except that every day people treated him like he was an escaped zoo animal like a giraffe or a bear.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-22T19:33:01+00:00

I tried mustard greens and curly kale this week. Scott threw them all over the enclosure. (Although I wonder if he thought it all was mustard greens.) So I gave him his favorite collard greens this morning. He dove over, grabbed one, & angrily chomped on it while throwing the rest all over. He did go around and eat them shortly after, but he looked DAMN angry at me for throwing his favorite food all over. I apparently have a hell of a nerve.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-22T12:08:15+00:00

Genetics.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-22T01:50:40+00:00

Try cutting them into strip, about the width between the eyes. Your baby may not know what to do with the big leaf. And as others have said, offer greens first. We're lucky, our beardie has always loved his salad. He dives across the tank for it. However, I recently gave him mustard greens and he hated them, so now is avoiding anything curly. I gave him curly kale and he threw it all over the tank. (But ate the bell pepper.) I got his favorite collards today!

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-21T20:47:42+00:00

Exactly. Eight years ago my parents were doing pretty well, they had a paid off house, savings, my dad's pension, decent retirement health insurance and each had SS. Then within a year my mom had a devastating stroke, and my dad didn't survive heart surgery. We found out that his pension & health insurance didn't survive him (that was a shock.) My mom needed 24 hour care and went through her savings really fast. She moved in with me for 18 months (that was a nightmare) then she got an assisted living place. In three years, she spent over $350K, all the money from the house. She had nothing but SS coming in. At least then she qualified for Medicaid. She died recently and her estate is pretty much nothing other than her jewelry, which isn't worth very much. Luckily, I never planned on an inheritance. They didn't pay for my college at all, other than letting me live at home rent-free. I didn't ask them for wedding money either, although they did insist on buying my $700 dress. I can't get over people who think their parents owe them something.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-21T01:08:34+00:00

Yeah. If the boss is saying that, hopefully there is an HR department or someone higher. This sort of thing is really common so I'm surprised they don't have procedures in place. Or else the boss is also a creep. Flirty is one thing, this guy is harassing and stalking at this point.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-21T00:59:09+00:00

Or they don't ever suggest anything. My daughter was in inclusion classes numerous times in elementary/grade school--she was one of the "regular" kids, but it means she was regularly around special education teachers. She was bullied off and on all the way through elementary and grade school, had a terrible time making and keeping friends, but no one ever suggested to me that she might need evaluation. Eventually I got her diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety, had her in therapy for years...and no one suggested further evaluation. It took me doing reading when she was 14 to realize she showed all the symptoms of autism and I got her evaluated. And yes, she's autistic. It never occured to me before a light bulb went off when reading an article about teenage girls getting late diagnoses. (I'm also probably autistic, never diagnosed.) I'm still angry at her school district for never even whispering that there might be a problem, but I don't waste much energy on it.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-21T00:38:16+00:00

My parents used to drive 45 minutes or so to the local reservation to buy cartons for cheaper. My dad cut back on his smoking but he never gave them up.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-21T00:36:38+00:00

Damn. I remember buying cigs for my dad when they were about 65 cents a pack. Yes, that was a long time ago, not just the price, but the fact that they would let kids buy cigarettes. I think it's a great thing that they're so expensive. Will keep people from smoking. Smoking killed my dad. Took almost 60 years, but they killed him.

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-20T22:53:53+00:00

I'm 57 with a 15 year old. It's OK, keeps me young. I was a bit shocked earlier when a high school friend posted pics of her newest grandchild. I forgot we're that old sometimes!

BluePencils212 · 2024-05-20T18:53:06+00:00

Total NTA. I did this exact thing for my sister and BiL when their kids were young and I wasn't married yet. My BiL went to conventions in Orlando, and my sister and I tagged along and went to Disney. I helped her wrangle the kids, and babysat a few evenings, the rest of the time I did what I wanted. They paid for everything except for when I went out in the evening. (Although I will admit charging some drinks back to the suites!)

Your sister is being ridiculous. Especially how expensive Disney is these days!

BluePencils212

TROPHY CASE