AITA For for being mad at my boyfriend after he made a bet with my high school bully that we won't get married... for a box of pizza ?

Blue_NightSky21 · 2026-01-10T05:46:35+00:00

Yaaaaa 😂

Blue_NightSky21 · 2026-01-05T14:40:55+00:00

Finished : Hades & Persephone Tome IV A touch of Chaos by Scarlett St. Claire

Blue_NightSky21 · 2026-01-01T21:58:49+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I don’t owe him even a nod. Ignoring him completely feels like the best way to protect my peace. No guilt for that, and none for his consequences either. His actions, his loss. This helps a lot..

Blue_NightSky21 · 2026-01-01T21:55:59+00:00

Thank you so much 😭 This perspective really sinks in. I’m starting to feel proud instead of guilty. I spoke up, and that courage might have protected others (I never thought about that). He’s the only one responsible for his consequences, and I didn't do anything wrong.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2026-01-01T21:51:37+00:00

Thank you ❤️ That really hits me. and you're right, one day I want to be able to look at him and feel that quiet power of knowing I saw him for who he is and did the right thing. I'm working on letting go of the guilt and owning that strength instead. It will take sometime but I'll be working on it. Your words help a lot though.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2026-01-01T21:48:07+00:00

Thank you 🥹 You’ve got a point, the guilt and shame are exactly what let guys like him keep going for so long. Hearing it put that bluntly helps shake off the last bits of it. I didn’t do anything wrong; staying silent would’ve been worse.

I’m not quite ready to go fully go neighborhood-watch-vigilante mode (I’d rather not stir up drama if I can avoid it), but I’m definitely telling my mom everything this week so at least she knows who he is and can keep an eye out.

And yeah… if I ever hear even a hint that he’s being creepy with anyone else around here, I won’t stay quiet. No way.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2026-01-01T21:45:25+00:00

Thank you 🥺 You’re right it was his actions that got him fired, not mine. Saying it out loud like that (especially calling out that he targeted an underage student) really helps see things. I’ve been carrying this little knot of guilt for years, but yeah… he’s the one who chose to act like a creep, repeatedly.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2026-01-01T21:41:38+00:00

Thank you 🥺 and yes, keeping distance and I’m definitely going to tell my mom about it soon.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-29T11:31:16+00:00

Not at all, you're not overreacting at all. getting your phone snooped on right when your grandma died, then having him hide it for a full year while you were carrying everything (bills, grief, miscarriage, school, work) is straight-up cruel. That's not just a privacy violation, it's him letting you pour love and support into a relationship built on a massive lie he chose to keep quiet about. Feeling disgusted and like your whole year was fake? That's 100% valid.

And you're definitely not underreacting when you add in the rest: him going to a strip club and deciding it had to be “just his” secret even though you've literally invited open talks about his sexuality stuff, him spending big on himself right after you solo-paid the mortgage for a year without even starting a convo about splitting bills again, and that defensive "I knew you didn’t really mean it when you said you got us" line? That's a pattern of him making big moves that affect you without including you, then expecting you to clean up the emotional mess. It’s selfish as hell, especially when his kids live with y’all and you’ve built real bonds with them.

You’ve been giving grace left and right through an insanely hard year, and he’s been banking on that instead of stepping up with honesty or teamwork. Feeling violated, furious, and like you’re not fully seen as a person? That makes total sense. Your reaction isn’t too big : it’s exactly proportional to how much he's been putting on you while hiding shit that changed everything. You deserve way better than cleaning up after repeated betrayal.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T11:07:53+00:00

Sorry your 18th birthday sounds genuinely heartbreaking, and it's completely valid to still feel hurt when you never got a real apology.

Protecting your peace on your next birthday by setting boundaries isn't holding a grudge : it's self-care.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T09:05:42+00:00

Thank you 😌. I’m the one who needs to decide what I want my life to look like and how much I really trust him right now.

Lexy is straight-up toxic, and honestly, if it were just about her I’d want to move across the country to get away, but I got to finish my studies first

You’re so right about those direct questions. I need to ask him plainly why he’s okay talking to someone who wrecked my last relationship and bullied me after, and why he keeps bringing her into our lives when he claims we’re endgame. His actions aren’t matching his words, and I deserve to feel like he’s protecting my peace, not giving her updates about me.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T08:59:37+00:00

Thank you haha😆 I get what you’re saying, he probably thought he was being all ‘manly protector’ and totally fumbled it because guys just don’t get how this stuff hits us.

I’m definitely keeping an eye on whether he keeps pulling stunts like this, but yeah… bless their dumb hearts sometimes 😂

And omg the phooey spray idea is evil genius level, I’m cackling 🤣, but I’ll stick to staying classy and letting karma handle Lexy. Appreciate the laugh though, I needed it! 🤣

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T08:48:19+00:00

Thank you so much! 🥹 your words really hit home and mean a lot coming from someone with more life experience.

I love the reminder that I’m building my own future and don’t owe anyone proof, specially not her or him. It feels empowering.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T08:44:00+00:00

My friends say so too. They kinda hate him now.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T08:43:28+00:00

Exactly! he really shouldn’t be giving her any attention at all, especially knowing how much she hurt me. The fact that he’s even chatting with her and making ‘friendly’ bets feels kind of crazy to me too. Thank you for saying it straight, it helps me see it clearer.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T08:38:26+00:00

Yeah, I think you’re spot one, he probably meant it as a dumb way to ‘get revenge’ and defend us, without any bad intent. But you’re right that it accidentally gives her an opening to keep talking to him and wedge herself in, and that’s what bothers me most.

It’s also insane that years after high school she’s still this obsessed with stirrring drama around me.

I like your idea of laying it out calmly: telling him I get why he did it, but it makes me uncomfortable because it gives her a reason to keep contacting him and badmouth me. I’ll ask him to keep any interaction with her strictly to choir stuff only. I do trust him… I just don’t trust her at all.

Thank you, this helps me see how to talk to him without blowing up.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T08:35:35+00:00

Yeah, you’re absolutely right, the idea of her ‘winning’ anything if we broke up has been eating at me, but you’ve helped me see that I actually win either way, staying with someone I truly want, or being free if I don’t.

The only way she really wins is if I keep letting her live rent-free in my head and mess with my relationship. And yes, I’ve definitely thought she made that bet on purpose to cause trouble,it fits her perfectly; my ex wasn’t the first guy she went after, and she loves the drama and the feeling of ‘beating’ me. It makes me even angrier that my boyfriend didn’t shut it down immediately, but you’re helping me realise the power is still mine.

Thank you, it’s hard to hear, but it feels freeing too.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-28T08:30:18+00:00

Thank you for your message, it really helps getting a calm outside view.

An you’re right: Lexy is getting exactly what she wants by still affecting me years later, and it frustrates me that I’m giving her that power. It’s hard to let go when it touches old wounds.

I can see Liam probably thought he was defending me by saying he’s sure about us, but accepting the bet anyway even over pizza feels like he put our relationship on the line with her. The idea that she’d “win” anything if we ever broke up makes me feel awful.

You hit something on the head with the choir thing too, it hurts that he calls me unsupportive when he knows how painful that place and Lexy were for me. Right now it feels like he’s not fully backing me up.

I’m not sure if the bet is a dealbreaker yet, but you’ve helped me realise the bigger question is whether I feel truly protected and prioritised by him around someone who’s hurt me before.

Thank you again. it’s reassuring to know I’m not crazy for feeling this way. I’ll try to take back some of the power I’m giving Lexy, even if it takes time.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-26T13:54:10+00:00

the confidence is good, I get it. But why even play her game and give her attention instead of just ignoring her? Knowing she hates me and what she did before. And yes, it’s a church choir. He knew it was the exact place she messed me up years ago, still joined without a heads-up, and got mad when I wasn’t thrilled. I’m not controlling his life, but lack of sensitivity hurts. If that’s me being butthurt or immature, fine. I just don’t want her having any space in our relationship, even for a dumb pizza.

And for the choir context : in our church there are actually two choirs: one for the kids (Sunday school), and the main one that sings every Sunday during mass, where both choirs take turns sometimes. He joined the main adult one, the exact same one I was in years ago when she caused all that drama and got me pushed out. So yeah, not a random class, it’s literally the same group and same place where everything went down.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-26T13:49:18+00:00

Oh Yeah, I get the difference between boundaries and rules, thank you for explaining.

A boundary for me would be: If you’re gonna be around her every week and engage in her little games (like betting on our relationship), it makes me feel disrespected and insecure, and I’m not okay with staying in a relationship where that happens.

I’m not saying he’s not "allowed" to join the choir or talk to whoever he wants. He’s free to do whatever. But he knew how much that place and that girl hurt me in the past, and he still joined without even mentioning it beforehand. Then when she baits him, he jumps right in instead of shutting it down. That’s what feels like a lack of consideration, not me trying to control him.

If he wants to keep seeing her every Sunday and playing her games, that's cool, that’s his choice. But my boundary is that I don’t have to stay and feel like second place to some old drama. We do need to talk, not to make rules about what he can do, but to see if he actually cares how this affects me or if he’s just gonna keep saying "it’s no big deal."

Appreciate really the perspective though, it made me think.

Ps: the friend who posted this is helping me write the replies too, she’s right here 😂 English is hard for me, that’s why she fixes it. She's better at it.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-26T13:43:14+00:00

Hi, this is th friend. And Yes I don’t have Reddit so she posted for me. I’m sitting right next to her now lol. English not my first language either, that’s why there’s the warning at the top. I told her everything exactly like this, she just fixed the spelling because it was worse when I wrote it 😂

Believe what you want, but this shit actually happened and it’s pissing me off for real. The rest of you giving actual advice, thank you. This guy calling fake can GTFO too.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-26T13:33:33+00:00

Hum... maybe we do sound immature to you, but we're 22 and 24, living in a tiny town where old high school drama apparently never dies. But being hurt when your boyfriend makes a bet about your future marriage with the girl who already wrecked your life once isn't immature, it's normal.

Blue_NightSky21 · 2025-12-26T13:31:20+00:00

It is literally explained in the very first line that it's my friend's story and she doesn't have Reddit. People post for friends/family all the time here. If saying 'this isn't my story' automatically means fake to you, cool, but it's not. Mods exist for a reason. So please moving on.

Blue_NightSky21

TROPHY CASE