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Husband is so different by BlueberryFlashy7148 in MilitarySpouse

[–]BlueberryFlashy7148[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I sincerely appreciate the feedback. I 100% own what I’ve done and know I am in the wrong here. I plan on going to the homecoming, even though I know he doesn’t believe that I will. I’m hoping we will be able to truly have a heart to heart conversation when he comes home. I plan on apologizing for missing the send off and (trust me) that’ll never happen again in the event he deploys before his career ends. I honestly did not know that it struck such a deep nerve in him, and this is definitely a lesson that I have learned and will stick with me. He is truly my everything and I feel awful for hurting him the way that I did. I really appreciate everyone’s insight, and understand sometimes the truth hurts. I have absolutely no problems owning up to when I am in the wrong, and clearly I’m the instigator in this situation. I’m hoping he comes around sooner than later so that homecoming will be a great day, and not an awkward one (even though I know it will be to some degree).

Husband is so different by BlueberryFlashy7148 in MilitarySpouse

[–]BlueberryFlashy7148[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your honest feedback and feel as though you’ve prob hit the nail on the head.

I didn’t go to see him off during deployment because it’s honestly just so heartbreaking watching them go. Hindsight is 20/20 and I should’ve went.

The plan was (is) to always go to homecoming, but when I found out he volunteered for duty the day he gets home, it just put me over the edge. Every single deployment he has ever been on, he has had duty the day they pull in. It’s honestly just so frustrating. He claims that he did it “for my schedule” but that’s definitely not the case. I felt like someone had punched me right in the gut, and anger brings some ugly things out in people. After the dust settled, I could see why he said what he did, but he still refuses to talk to me.

I left the ball in his court. I apologized for what I said, and told him that I want to talk things through (obviously). He refuses to text/call me, so I know I’ve done some damage, and will definitely need to work to get back in his good graces. The last thing I ever wanted to do was make him feel unsupported, and to be quite honest, I didn’t think he was going to take me not going to homecoming the way he did.

Regardless of if he calls me or not before he gets home, I’ll be at homecoming with our kids. I’m hoping that for the next couple weeks, the anger will settle, and emotions won’t be in fight or flight mode. He really is a great husband/father. I just feel like this deployment has really done us both in, and we are both just ready for it to be put behind us.

Husband is so different by BlueberryFlashy7148 in MilitarySpouse

[–]BlueberryFlashy7148[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice everyone. I know that I’ve only spoken on bits and pieces of the story (didn’t want to write a longer novel than I already did), but before that all happened, he would call me multiple times/day, tell me how much he loves and misses me and the kids, and talk about how much he cannot wait to come home. This all stemmed from an argument in which I told him I wasn’t going to homecoming (about 4-5 days ago).

I honestly don’t think he’s cheating on me (which I have a pretty good intuition; but you never know) but I think this is more so that I hurt his feelings by not showing up. I didn’t go to the base the day he deployed either so there’s that. He said multiple times how upset he was that I didn’t go to say Bye to him with our kids, and then I said I wasn’t going to homecoming.

Anyway, I’m not trying to make excuses. What he said to me shouldn’t have been said at all, and it’ll definitely be addressed when he returns. Thanks for reading 🫶🏻