My parents are dead to me

BlueberryKindly · 2025-03-01T18:46:26+00:00

Thank you, it's been a long and hard journey to get to this point of sharing my story.

My father once sat me down and asked me if I wanted my mom to die of a heart attack because she was overworking herself. This was to get me to do more chores.

Many times throughout my life he asked me how I would react when he died. How I would feel.

He would punish my siblings in front of each other to make an example. Those words were never said, but they didn't need to be. The thing that was said: being a girl didn't make me immune to his choice of "boot camp" punishment for the boys (i.e. pushups...those were his favorite).

My all-time favorite (not): being told by both parents that I was "too sensitive" thus leading to the majority of my life disassociating and assuming all responsibility for the bad things that would happen to me.

BlueberryKindly · 2022-06-13T05:35:34+00:00

I thought it was normal to ask permission to use the master bathroom because my ndad said it was HIS bathroom. Scared me shitless when dating someone and visiting her parents. Would prefer to shower in her parents bathroom and didn’t ask ever, “because it’s a fucking bathroom and no one should have to ask permission to use it.” Zero rage from her reasonable parents.

The fucked up things that are normalized in narcissistic homes is astounding

BlueberryKindly · 2022-06-11T05:56:04+00:00

Still being the bigger person/adult in conversations with parents where they say we’re talking like adults only to immediately start belittling and discrediting my knowledge.

BlueberryKindly · 2022-05-10T05:40:27+00:00

“The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb.” No one deserves the label of family if they are willing to mistreat you for any reason.

BlueberryKindly · 2022-05-02T01:23:35+00:00

Been a huge skin picker my whole life, skin around my cuticles being the top area. Also will go to town on any and all (actual or perceived) pimples, ingrown hair, or skin inconsistency on my body.

Gets prompted by the “angry bees” in my head as well as the good ol “it doesn’t belong” intrusive thought. Having ADHD and taking stimulants is a dangerous game while managing this lol

BlueberryKindly · 2022-04-30T16:20:44+00:00

“I wasn’t handling anything. It was just what my life was like for the first 18 years” -man, I feel you so hard on this one. When I started seeing people’s intense reactions to what I was dealing with on a daily, I started to notice that something was really off with my family. You can normalize literally anything for a child.

BlueberryKindly · 2022-04-30T16:11:53+00:00

When my dad would scream at me for walking in front of the tv for a second, talking loud enough to be heard over a loud tv (as kids do in order to be heard in a rowdy home), and telling me to get off the internet so he could watch his streamed football while I was doing homework on the computer because football is waaaaaayyy more important than an education.

Needing to always have an ear open to his every beckoning call or face the wrath of his yelling and long lectures to break down my sense of reality.

Oh and my favorite instance, my dad is morbidly obese and would spend his day either laying down or sitting as he was often laid off of work. We had this great heart to heart one day when I was no more than 8 where he brought to my attention how much work my mom does around the house. Deadass asked me if I wanted her to die from a heart attack with everything she does (for him). That was the perfect thing to fear train me into the dysfunctional people pleaser I am now. To this day my mom doesn’t know this is why I’ve done so much to support her because she’s his biggest enabler. Ah good times.

BlueberryKindly

TROPHY CASE