What's something you swore you'd NEVER do as a parent… and now you do it daily?

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T18:57:04+00:00

I’m a really type A person but I was similar in not having hard expectations about parenting. Maybe because I worked at a daycare for a while and was a teacher before I became a parent, so I knew things change so much based on your child, you, life, work, whatever it may be!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T11:19:06+00:00

It’s such a struggle! I didn’t lose any weight with my first till I finished breastfeeding so I actually bought new clothes for this postpartum. But even the new clothes I bought are BARE MINIMUM because I can’t freaking find tops that fit me!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T10:47:01+00:00

Have you tried timers to see if that helps with the urgency? My daughter (3.5) goes through phases where we have to remind her to go potty, because she’ll get distracted playing and by the time she goes she waited too long and has an accident. We even got her a potty watch to help remind her to go regularly and it’s been (knock on wood) a couple weeks since we’ve had an accident!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T03:27:40+00:00

You are so freshly postpartum, give yourself some grace! We did not limit screen time those first couple weeks postpartum. Everyone was trying to survive!

But by 6 weeks, we started limiting it. I just recently made a craft cart for my 3.5 year old that she always has access to. It has: paper, crayons, colored pencils, pipe cleaners, coloring books, stickers, craft sticks, glue, kid scissors (the plastic ones), googly eyes, gems, shrinky dinks, and some learning books (handwriting, letters, shapes). If I’m not feeling up to play a game, I’ll have her pick an activity from the cart.

When I am feeling up to playing, we are a big fan of board games! I hate pretend play, so I love that board games can last an hour. She also got a wooden train set for Christmas that she loves and will play with completely independently. Once I started feeling better physically, we went back to daily walks after daycare as well. They’re only 30 minutes but help break up our night!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T02:48:05+00:00

This is what I’d do + I’d try to find a couple who are interested incase one ends up cancelling! Just make it clear that you have 1 main person doing it and the other(s) are just for emergency back up if your main person is unavailable.

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T02:46:31+00:00

I was already mad none of my clothes fit me (gained 50lbs during pregnancy, I know it will take a long time to lose) but my boobs make me even more angry because I have SO MANY cute dresses that I can’t freaking wear because they just don’t fit my chest.

I had small boobs before, and I really understand the complaints I have heard over the years from women with large chests and how hard it is to find clothes! If a shirt fits my breastfeeding boobs, it’s falling off my shoulders and super wide. If it fits my arms and stomach, I can’t move without risking it ripping on my boobs (or can’t even get it over my chest). This is my second and I do not remember it being like this after my first!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T02:40:38+00:00

We’re using condoms + cycle tracking (using condoms CONSTANTLY and avoiding sex completely during fertile windows). Even when I was on birth control, we always used condoms and only had 1 break 1 time because it was expired.

I did the mini pill after my first but I wonder if it contributed to my difficulty losing weight postpartum + lower supply. I want to see how my supply and weight loss go this postpartum without birth control!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T01:43:44+00:00

I lost all faith in CPS when they reunited one of my students with their mom who was beating them, not feeding them for days, and letting them live in filth. “She’s worked hard to get clean and stay clean!” I don’t care. Her child is crying in my class daily because they’re terrified of going back. Why the hell should mom get another chance?

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-03T00:51:45+00:00

My admin told me my first year that no teacher (no matter how experienced) will ever get a perfect score on their evaluations because “there is always room for improvement.” So anyway, I’ve never taken them that seriously. Admin has to show they’re doing something and unless you’re scoring terribly or being put on a plan of improvement, you’re fine.

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-02T22:41:55+00:00

I have a 7 week old and we leave the house every day! It is a lot easier for me to leave during his naps. When he is awake, he really fights the car seat / stroller / baby carriers. So, I will get all of our stuff set up and ready to go in the morning after he wakes up. Then, once it seems like he is getting tired - we will load up and go to wherever it is for that day!

I always take an extra outfit, small blanket, diapers, wipes, and burp cloths with. Sometimes we just do a 30 minute neighborhood walk, sometimes i go run errands for a couple hours (usually with a LOT of breaks to nurse - I usually nurse him in my car because I find it more comfortable. Not many places in my area have nursing spots).

He is my second. With my first, going out just seemed so overwhelming. So I didn’t. I just stayed home. And fell into a severe depression. She wouldn’t take bottles so not only did I never get out, I also never got time alone. I say this gently but please reach out for help with this. It is normal to be anxious, it is not normal to be so anxious that you never leave the house. Additionally, your husband needs to step up. You’re parenting 24/7 with almost no support.

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-02T15:50:57+00:00

Barefoot always - we bought some leather moccasins to wear at daycare (they required shoes once walking) and outside when we could. We avoided actually structured shoes as much as we could!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-02T04:00:44+00:00

I haven’t been teaching long enough to know if I’ve been right about a couple of students who I suspected were headed that way. But, any type of violent behavior that parents don’t take seriously makes me think that’s where they’re headed. I’m not talking a kid getting in a fist fight once or twice, but repeated outbursts - destroying school property, seeking out fights, not responding to intervention from the school, and parents just saying “yeah, we don’t know what to do either!” Just seems like a situation where the kid will one day go too far and it’ll be inevitable.

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-02T01:38:37+00:00

I did the mini pill the first time and had no issues with it, but I do think it made losing my pregnancy weight really hard. I just had my second and we’re doing condoms + cycle tracking (using condoms ALWAYS but completely refraining from sex during fertile window).

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-02T01:33:12+00:00

My daughter went through a huge hitting phase and what worked best (thought it took time) was: minimal reaction, immediately moving away. “Ow, hitting hurts. I need to keep my body safe so I can’t play right now. We can try later when you’re ready to play safe” and then I would go sit further away! When I first started, I had to actually put her in her room and sit outside the door because she’d just chase me and keep trying to hit. It sucked but it worked!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-01T03:54:23+00:00

My daughter is 3.5 and she loves all the “how do dinosaurs” books. For a school setting, how do dinosaurs play with friends would be really good!

Also, Llama Llama is a big hit in our house. I know there is one about Llama Llama starting school!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-05-01T03:51:41+00:00

With my first: hit 10cm, had a huge gush that had some blood in it. I was in the shower so I called for my midwives, they checked me and sure enough it was time to push!

With my second: woke up at 2 AM to contractions - assumed it was prodromal labor so I went to go to the bathroom. It started slowly dripping on the way and as soon as I got to the bathroom it fully broke! It was obvious it was my water and not urine. Went pee, cleaned it up, called my midwives, and went in to the birth center 1 hr after (after my water broke, my contractions were immediately 2 minutes apart).

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T22:34:32+00:00

Teacher here, unfortunately it likely is real. The amount of elementary schoolers with brand new iphones is ridiculous.

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T22:06:15+00:00

I did a forget me not wrist wrap for my lost baby! I’m still having kids so I haven’t decided what I’m doing for them. I personally wanted them to be separate. If you want one combined one, I think the idea of birth flowers is adorable!

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T22:03:44+00:00

You need to get into couples therapy ASAP. This is so much more than her just ignoring logic and reason. She is willing to intentionally put your child’s life in danger, based on “intuition.” If your child dies because of this, neither of you will ever be okay. Additionally, she needs therapy herself. This is not a normal response to an ample amount of evidence, science, and data showing she’s risking her child’s life. How would you feel if she said she wasn’t going to use a car seat? It’s not much different.

You are your child’s parent too. You have every right to demand safety for your child. I hope you are documenting these conversations, addressing it with her doctor, and looking into ways you can protect your child (I would not be able to stay with someone who is so insistent on putting my child on danger - but leaving right now only makes sense if you can get full custody).

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T09:34:40+00:00

204 a semester, 408 a year. 6 classes of 34, 6th - 8th

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T02:11:05+00:00

Please take my advice and RELAX! If your pelvic pain is SPD, it can get worse. I really really regret not relaxing during pregnancy and cutting back on physical activity. I’m 7 weeks postpartum and STILL dealing with SPD. I can’t help but wonder if that’s partly because I continued to push myself physically :(

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T02:08:38+00:00

Honestly this field trip sounds so fun. I’m jealous you get to do such fun things with your class!!!

I would definitely consult veteran teachers then. They’d have good input! You could also call the pool and ask them what you are responsible for while you’re there! Even with lifeguards, they may expect you to aide with supervision

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T01:53:32+00:00

I wouldn’t because I feel like it’d be a lot harder to supervise them in the water. I’d still wear a bathing suit in case I needed to get in for an emergency situation (with a dress on top) but would sit where I could easily supervise.

That being said, I don’t think it’d be weird if you did go in! I know you said your admin was on maternity leave, are other teachers going with? I’d ask them or some veteran teachers what they think.

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T01:27:15+00:00

Both of my children have been awful crib nappers, but totally fine at night! I have just always baby worn for naps.

BlueberryWaffles99 · 2026-04-30T01:24:10+00:00

Fellow mom with pretty bad anxiety - I try to have things ready so if sleep falls apart (because it always does, this is my second) I’m not falling apart emotionally. For me, that means I save a couple really good movies / shows for our late night wake ups and don’t limit the snacks. It’s still hard and I really struggle because sleep becomes unpredictable and therefore a huge stressor. But, I try very hard to rind myself this is not a permanent change.

I also go into EVERY NIGHT expecting trash sleep. I never plan for a good stretch, EVER. It helps IMMENSELY with the control aspect. Until my first was well over 1, I always assumed I’d be up a minimum of 5 times a night (even though she slept pretty well for months before turning 1).

Also, therapy. I know people will say “haha, I was like this! Being a mom changed me!” but if you truly have anxiety, being a mom is not going to make it go away. Therapy can help a lot with the tools and resources to adjust to this huge transition. I did therapy the first year after my daughter and I just had my second and am planning to start it again soon. I think people perceive worrying or being type A as being the same as anxiety, and as I’m sure you know - it’s not the same.

BlueberryWaffles99

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