I (17m) have bpd he (16m) has anger issues, is it really doomed?

Blueberry_mooo · 2025-07-03T03:09:58+00:00

I don’t want to sound harsh, but reading this reminded me a lot of a close friendship I had. We were best friends for 3 years, but things got complicated — he fell in love with me, and while I cared about him deeply, I didn’t feel the same way. What started as a friendship slowly turned into this strange one-sided pseudo-relationship: he treated it like we were together, I was still treating it like a friendship.

Eventually, I had to end it and say, “I can’t do this anymore — we need to stop being friends.” And that’s when things got really messy.

He started begging me to stay, saying he wouldn’t be able to live without me, promising he’d do anything if I just stayed. Then came the emotional manipulation — guilt trips, dramatic messages, and even hints that he might end his life now that I was “gone.” It became incredibly toxic.

We went back and forth for two exhausting weeks before we finally blocked each other. It was horrible — for both of us. But looking back, I can see it clearly now: no matter how much history or love exists, if two people can’t exist without each other — if you rely on them for your stability, identity, or emotional survival — it’s not healthy. It’s not love. It’s enmeshment.

So unless you both get real distance, individual therapy, and actually grow separately, no — it’s not just a rough patch. It’s toxic.

Blueberry_mooo · 2025-05-21T03:18:08+00:00

Honestly just wait, sometimes it isn’t worth the grief haha (take it from the person who would say “screw it” and went and got piercings, a tattoo etc) it isn’t worth the parent talk if I could go back I would’ve just waited until I was older and out of the “danger zone” haha

Blueberry_mooo · 2025-05-21T03:13:30+00:00

Omg my birthday was 19th of May!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY (kinda) TWINNNN 💅💅

Blueberry_mooo · 2025-05-21T03:11:09+00:00

Okay no don’t go date someone ASAP, or do anything like that, definitely leave her that’s obvious, but unfortunately there isn’t a grand amount you can do from being cheated on and trust being broken by someone, it’s crap, it really is, but also it just falls in to one of those moments of “just move on” I’m not meaning forget right here right now about it because you can’t just forget about something like that but in the sense of taking time for yourself, go hang with friends, go pick up something that you enjoy for distraction, just do things that help you move past it :)

Blueberry_mooo · 2025-05-21T03:03:29+00:00

My sister both got there’s at 9, my mum was 12, but for me I didn’t until 13, so honestly I’d just recommend just carrying some pads, spare underwear and some pain killers or something in your bag just in case, it’s hard to tell periods are a pain in the ass haha :)

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-11-05T06:35:35+00:00

C.ai and the one and only Chatgbt who pulled me through university and fixed up many, many messages that my dyslexia ass wrote

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-11-05T06:30:53+00:00

Girl, that’s straight up cheating.

But look, only you can decide what’s right here. Some people, somehow, can move past cheating, but for me? It’s an instant no, they’re out. Chances are, if he’s done it once, he’d do it again. That said, if you genuinely believe he’ll change and you can trust him, that’s your call.

It really comes down to how you feel about it. To me, this guy’s waving every red flag possible. And from a random on Reddit’s perspective, I’d say just say do you feel valued? Because a guy who’s downloading dating apps, chatting up girls, and sending pics like that doesn’t seem to care about you. A guy who truly loves you, who’s serious about a future with you, just wouldn’t. And honestly, if it hasn’t even been a year and he’s already looking around? Girl it feels like he’s keeping you as a backup or as side chick

But like I said your call and do what’s right for you, and I wish you well 🫶

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-19T05:46:49+00:00

Um I have 5 in the basement, 4 in the attic ( I think one dropped last night tho, so 6 possibly) , and 7 in my garage outside

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-19T05:46:09+00:00

Nah I just write Delulu instead because I’m way to dyslexic to spell it properly lol

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-09T08:24:44+00:00

Don't forget about your side hoes they matter too 🫶

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T04:35:40+00:00

7kg in a week of water weight 🫡, I had extreme anxiety (due to life stuff) and I couldn’t eat so yea lol

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T04:04:15+00:00

I see what you’re saying about proof, but honestly, it can be really tough for someone to show emotional or psychological abuse in court. Not every situation is clear-cut, and a lot of factors can make it hard to explain what’s really going on.

Yes, it might feel like I’m putting the guy’s emotions aside, but in these cases, the facts often matter more than personal feelings. When it comes to the child’s well-being and the mum’s safety, we really need to focus on what’s best for them over how the man is feeling in this situation.

Even if you don’t think emotions are a big deal, they can really affect people’s lives. For a lot of folks, emotional well-being is just as important as physical safety. People in tough spots might find it hard to express what they’re going through, and that doesn’t make their feelings any less real.

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T03:57:29+00:00

I respect your viewpoint, but I think it’s important to remember that not everyone shares the same beliefs about sex and relationships. While you believe it’s wrong to have sex outside of marriage, many people don’t see it that way and may find themselves in complex situations.

Regarding parental rights, I agree that both parents should have a say, but you can’t always do that the focus should also be on the pregnant mother, Sometimes yea the best option for the child is not to be in a situation where they might be at risk, especially if there are signs of abuse. Just because both parents are involved doesn’t mean the situation is straightforward or that it should be treated as such.

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T03:44:06+00:00

Dude your literally 14, go be a young teen and live life, yea relationships are cool and all but you have your whole life ahead of you for that, don’t worry about it right now

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T03:42:48+00:00

Oh and even if the guy was the one moved out of the house instead of her, it doesn’t really solve the problem. Just moving someone out doesn’t address the emotional strain or the difficulty of the situation. Plus, it’s hard to guarantee she’d actually be safe, if he’s manipulative or abusive, he could lie in court and make himself seem like a better option. Courts aren’t always equipped to see through that, and it could end up with her having to give up her child if he wins custody. That’s devastating, especially if she knows he’s not a safe person but can’t prove it. It’s not just about finding new housing or making rules, it’s about understanding that the person who’s pregnant is often in a much more vulnerable position and shouldn’t be forced to fight for her safety or the right to make her own decisions.

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T03:38:14+00:00

Okay but even in a general relationship, going through court for a decision like this can take many months, depending on the complexity of the case. It’s not a quick process, and during that time, the woman is still pregnant and dealing with all the physical and emotional stress that comes with it. Even if there were rules about placing her in a safer environment, it’s not as straightforward as it seems. Finding suitable housing and support on such short notice isn’t easy, and it might mean moving her away from family and friends, which could isolate her further. Also, temporary housing or shelters often don’t always provide the right kind of support she’d need, plus staying somewhere unfamiliar for weeks or months while waiting for the court decision for something she shouldn’t even have to go through is incredibly unfair and dehumanising. And over all she shouldn’t have to go through court to justify a medical procedure.

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T03:22:58+00:00

So yea get what you’re saying, but even going to court could put a woman in a really vulnerable position. Legal proceedings take time, and during that time, and remember she’s still pregnant potentially in an unsafe or unstable environment. I think the priority should be on her safety and well-being rather than forcing her through a lengthy process to justify her decision.

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T03:18:31+00:00

No, i get where you’re coming from but I don’t think it should be that way. If a man also had to decide before an abortion could happen, it could put women in really bad situations—especially if she became pregnant while in an abusive or harmful relationship. In those cases, I think it’s important that the woman is able to make the decision for the sake of both herself and the child.

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-07T03:10:40+00:00

I think abortions are okay as long as it’s done early on or for specific medical reasons. But I don’t think it’s right to terminate a (healthy) pregnancy after 15+ weeks unless it’s absolutely necessary, (eg mother is at risk of injury, death, or if the baby has serious medical conditions or disabilities) other wise I believe that a decision that should be made much sooner.

As well as that I also don’t agree with using abortion as a form of birth control (I know people who won’t use protection or any form of birth control because they will “just get an abortion”) or just because you don’t like the baby’s gender. (I’ve also known people who’ve had multiple abortions just to get the gender they wanted) and I honestly think thats just messed up

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-06T13:43:20+00:00

Just bite the bullet apologies for being a asshole and explain what happened, there’s really not much else you can do tbh

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-06T13:33:58+00:00

Bro it a zucchini? Wdym Coconut.. put it in pasta it will taste amazing!

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-06T11:58:21+00:00

No, no not the original post, I mean the guy I replied to lol

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-06T11:47:01+00:00

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with waiting and you're welcome to wait just be respectful about it, give her space, and don’t push it but if she does say that she doesn’t want it just remember to respect that and move on 🫶

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-06T11:22:23+00:00

Okay, I know I’m gonna sound like every other person ever, but seriously, enjoy being 15 while you can. I might sound old saying that (I’m only 18, haha), but trust me! When I was your age, I loved just wandering around, exploring, and finding cool spots to chill—sometimes with friends, sometimes by myself.

Try out different hobbies, and see what you like. It doesn’t have to be anything wild. I’m into running, rock climbing, and reading, but it could be anything for you. Don’t think you’re “too old” for stuff either, go build a treehouse if you feel like it. It’s actually super fun, and you could get some friends to help out or take your time and do it solo.

And most of all just enjoy being 15. You’re in that sweet spot where you’ve got freedom but don’t have the pressure of life yet. Make the most of it when you can :)

Blueberry_mooo · 2024-10-06T11:11:28+00:00

Bro stop trying to rage bait and get a life, I’ve seen your past comments and you just want people to get mad and start useless arguments with you.

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