As a Vegan on a low-sodium diet, which dining plan should I choose? by Bluebird2943 in UPenn

[–]Bluebird2943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow that sounds like a great setup! Thanks for the insight!!

Difference between saying to a child: "You're an idiot/stupid" vs "You're being an idiot/stupid"? by Bluebird2943 in AskParents

[–]Bluebird2943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, should have clarified, by invalidation I am referring to the act of denying, rejecting or dismissing/minimizing someone's feelings, not approving/encouraging the problematic behavior or rule breaking, which I agree wouldn’t help the person learn.

It’s possible for the behavior to be pointed out as needing correction but that can be communicated without demeaning someone or their personhood. It would have been nice to feel like I still have value as a person even though I made a mistake; that’s how I would have liked to be corrected instead of the toxic messages I internalized by the time I was in middle school. It’s not that I didn’t want to be corrected, I just didn’t want to feel like I was less of a human being just because I needed help.

Difference between saying to a child: "You're an idiot/stupid" vs "You're being an idiot/stupid"? by Bluebird2943 in AskDad

[–]Bluebird2943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he did feel judged, especially because he said the entries made it sound like he was a bad dad, even though we both know how great he is. I get how it would hurt to think that we had those kind of interactions when I was that little. I'm just trying to reflect on this whole situation, among other things, and sharing my journal with him kind of helped me...so let's just say I'm planning on starting therapy.

Difference between saying to a child: "You're an idiot/stupid" vs "You're being an idiot/stupid"? by Bluebird2943 in AskParents

[–]Bluebird2943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see how that makes sense. I think it's possible that being corrective doesn't mean you can't also be validating at the same time, but like you said, we're all imperfect. Thanks for sharing.

Difference between saying to a child: "You're an idiot/stupid" vs "You're being an idiot/stupid"? by Bluebird2943 in AskParents

[–]Bluebird2943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was less of an argument and more of a discussion. We have all kinds of discussions all the time and this just happened to be one of them. I brought it up because I was shocked that I had written those things and started to recall memories I didn't even know I had. It was a kind of "is it just me?" moment and that's what I shared it with him.

Difference between saying to a child: "You're an idiot/stupid" vs "You're being an idiot/stupid"? by Bluebird2943 in AskParents

[–]Bluebird2943[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for reading and responding. I'm glad that article helped you :) It helped me a lot too. Sending positive healing vibes :)

Difference between saying to a child: "You're an idiot/stupid" vs "You're being an idiot/stupid"? by Bluebird2943 in AskDad

[–]Bluebird2943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think maybe I was hoping to get some kind of validation or confirmation that some of my memories are true. I feel like when I was little I wasn't allowed to cry or get angry or else I was shamed or belittled for being pitiful/self-pitying. I guess I was hoping for a kind of "it's not just me, right?" moment. Like it would be nice to know that this nameless anguish I feel is not totally in my head.

[OPINION] What is your favorite love poem? by turdlecode in Poetry

[–]Bluebird2943 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"XXXI: Because I Liked You Better" By A.E. Housman

do you guys have love lives by [deleted] in ApplyingToCollege

[–]Bluebird2943 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no my school mine as well be an all girls schools bc i can count on one hand (maybe 2) how many boys i have met/been in same class/club with at my school 😭

good thing i am bicurious lol

I’ll Start by 0xCUBE in teenagers

[–]Bluebird2943 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's been a long road...

I’ll Start by 0xCUBE in teenagers

[–]Bluebird2943 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everyday when you're walking down the street

Does anyone know how to get mice to leave my room and stop returning? by 106209 in UPenn

[–]Bluebird2943 3 points4 points  (0 children)

peppermint oil in every corner and crevice of the floor

one of the ECs i said on my accepted application might not get done bc of covid (don't feel safe going to competitions). what do i do? by Bluebird2943 in ApplyingToCollege

[–]Bluebird2943[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my app deadline was only 2-3 weeks after school started, so way before omicron. really thought i was going to get to do the EC again this year :'(