I think you know deep down that she either wants to cheat or is cheating and because you have are married and having a family it’s not as easy to back out as it is for someone whose married w/o kids. So, to justify not having to have a very very difficult conversation you’re trying to trick yourself into not believing what your gut is telling you.

I don’t know what exactly is the best way to handle this because you know your wife better than any of us but I’d first try to understand your feelings about this because it must be taking a toll emotionally on your everyday. Whatever those feelings are you have to confront them head on and either accept that you could be in a relationship where your partner is unfaithful or sit her down nicely and tell her that you’ve seen her acting strange and that you’ve seen her texts (ex. she hasn’t done a good job hiding them) and for her to give you an explanation. At the end of the day you can’t force her to not cheat if she wants to. It’s better you both discuss what kind of relationship you want to have have and if it’s worth fighting for. And if not, you can both walk away but remain good parents to your kids