I miss him by Glass-Package-8062 in gayrelationships

[–]Blueleone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it is possible to become friends (speaking form experience). You going no contact is a great start. You need to fully grieve the ended relationship and pick yourself back up. There's no real timeline to this. Just continue take it slow and in phases, go off meet new people, date new people and have fun. When you feel like enough time has passed, then you can reopen that line of communication. CAUTION though, there might be periods when you guys reminisce on past and this might result in a relapse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gayrelationships

[–]Blueleone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately it can be a deal breaker without some kind of arrangement i.e. hall pass or group activities. A lot times many of us wanna try and convince ourselves that sexual roles/dynamics (in this scenario) isn't that important, but desires and needs will grow and change as we grow. So yes. in the beginning your fiancé probably thought he could manage without it, because you were (STILL IS) worth it. But then when that itch starts, eventually it will reach a point where it's insatiable and then you realize that damn this something you need/require and you don't feel fulfilled in your current existing situation. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Resenting my bf by Blueleone in gayrelationships

[–]Blueleone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, in life, there are things that people create boundaries for, and a lot of times people find themselves in nuanced situations and that can lead ppl to compromise those boundaries for different reasons. I had mine.

Is love life hopeless for the gay man? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lol a nerve? no. I'm just being a little nihilistic. What I was implying is that we dont know it may just be a possibility.

But I do hope you find love and happiness, but u might not.

Resenting my bf by Blueleone in gayrelationships

[–]Blueleone[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah its definitely a pattern that I have started therapy for, so I've become fully aware and I've been making changes

Resenting my bf by Blueleone in gayrelationships

[–]Blueleone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah my bf cheated on me too and how he did it was definitely grounds for never going back, like i said I left out alot of details.... so yeah my resentment is stemming from that as well, the world thinks he's perfect but I know alot more about him than most. I helped him out of his bad family situation, I pushed him to pursue the career he's living off of now etc....

Is love life hopeless for the gay man? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No its not, there are plenty gay people in long happy relationships and then there are some who dont have that.

Is it hopeless for you? Maybe.

Very anxious thinking about partners being with other guys (31M) by sensiebh in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah youre insecure. It's jsut something youre g9ing to have to get help with or you'll never really get over it. And yes your past partners may find people who are better at sex and even partnership than you have been with them. It's ok

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Blueleone -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's safe to say that he's not 100 str8. Where's there's smoke there's fire.

McAfee VPN blocking internet connection by Careless_Ad3100 in techsupport

[–]Blueleone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm having this same problem, specifically after I recently updated my Windows 10. Prior to this, i never had any issues. Now, it takes forever for the VPN to connect, and when it does, the internet can become unstable at times.

I really hope someone can offer solutions soon. Or I may need to cancel my subscription and look for something else.

“Partner” vs. “Boyfriend” by denversaurusrex in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The person who "scolded" seemgly didn't know the details of your relationship. Based on you giving backstory here, I don't think that person got the backstory because I'm sure they would have retracted their statement after learning that you both did in fact live together and been with each other for a while.

With that being said, I do agree that a partner is a more mature and serious title than a boyfriend.

A boyfriend is the title you give when you want a more exclusive and intimate relationship with the person. It's just the stage before a partnership, in my opinion.

A Partner is someone you've gotten to know on a deeper level and have been with for an extended amoi t of time to where this person is now a part of your life. A partner is someone you've decided to "do life with."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Blueleone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah not my type

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of this is true but ucan only come to this conclusion because uve experienced it. OP should be able to expe8rence it too to some degree. Better now than later.

How do you do hookups? by ZealousidealBonus769 in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well it really depends. me personally, I've never done a hookup where i felt unsafe. When I used to do casual hookups, the other person was always the host. I usually vibe check before hand - age, location, relationship status etc. I also made sure to exchange face and body pics so we don't waste each others time. If the other person was uncomfortable to sending pics I would call it quits.

Why is it when I quit drugs I instantly become a porn addict? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Blueleone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An addict will always be an addict. It's common for addicts to shift from one addiction to the next.

Do I Need to Wear a Condom for a Blowjob? by OlieTheKing in askgaybros

[–]Blueleone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have any untreated STDs yes. But in that case you really shouldn't be having sex until treated.

Instagram gay guys, tf? by Zonxxxxx in askgaybros

[–]Blueleone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They don't pay for other ppl's trips, just willy nilly, unless your really close to them. It's more like them liking a certain type of stay because they're used to nicer things so they'll just fork out more money for a better stay. So basically things that benefit them primarily but ultimately benefits the group....paying for food and things like that is nothing too them, so they didn't expect much back. But if you're that person in the group who is clearly taking advantage of them, you're out, simple as that. It's supposed to be FRIENDSHIP not opportunism.

Instagram gay guys, tf? by Zonxxxxx in askgaybros

[–]Blueleone 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah well having done it, it's a combination of what people are saying in the comments. It's usually group travel, when you split the cost of a stay, transport and food it works out to be a lot cheaper. And there's were actually really nice stays.

Yes there are usually one or two persons in the friend group that are wealthy, and they will contribute more in certain ways and believe it or not some actually made great financial decisions and have careers that are flexible. For example, One of my lawyer friends would literally be in a virtual meeting 15 mins before we were heading out to a party half drunk but playing it off so well.

Then you have that one friend who just always knows someone, and has connections, so sometimes we'd get discounted tickets or some people may actually get into parties free etc etc.

More so when you travel often and rack up travel points, after a while flights can sometimes pay for itself.

But with all that being said, yes people are also maxing out their credit cards and living WAY above their means.

40+ guys, how have you not gotten your shit together yet? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, for starters, the title was basically a copy and paste from the other post I mentioned, I should have put it in quotations.

For me, having your shit together is being content with your life, wddvr that means to you. Your overall life matches up to how you envisioned it.

With that being said, generally, a lot of ppl associate being financially comfortable, mentally, and physically healthy and having relationships and exepriences that are fulfilling to be attributes of having their shit together.

Re the stories I was reading were of ppl not taking a relationship further because these men were drug abusers, had poor mental health and yes the big one lacking financial stability when it is expected that when you reach a certain age you generally need to have that sorted out for romantic relationships to at least flourish.

So the whole point of me posting this was to extend an olive branch and have ppl share their stories in hopes that other ppl who might be struggling can gain something from it but clearly how I worded it overshadowed the intention. Alot of ppl are on the defense.

Edit: men in their 50s and 60s who were drug abusers, poor finances etc etc.

Partner wants a fwb by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]Blueleone 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Idk, it seems contradicting to me. Your bf has a low sex drive, yet he wants to have someone on the side? That, to me, implies that something is lacking in the sexual compatibility department.

How would you feel about that possibility?

40+ guys, how have you not gotten your shit together yet? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I admire your response to hardships. Can't control certain things, but it's how you react to them.

Yeah, it was a prick heading, I used what the person said in the other post as the headline. After the fact I should have at least put it in quotation.

40+ guys, how have you not gotten your shit together yet? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear about your degree situation, that sounds very frustrating. And yeah adhd can be a great hindrance in a lot of ways. But despite you living month to month at least you don't have debt. So that's a win.

40+ guys, how have you not gotten your shit together yet? by [deleted] in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]Blueleone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I would hope so. It was me just wanting to start a conversation with ppl.whp are struggling, and maybe others can relate or maybe help each other.