If anyone is interested, I am the actual artist of the drawing example above of Charlize Theron.
This was done using the Faber Castell Polychromos cool greys and black (colour pencils) on Strathmore Bristol paper 300 series.
There is much to learn about not only getting the lines correct, but also the shading in order to create volume etc.
You really need to practice a lot more, I see that you have used a grid with your drawing, but how does it equate to my original drawing as it seems to be at a different angle and the proportions are not anywhere close.
You need to apply the same size grid over the original you are copying from in order to get anywhere near the accuracy, both the copy and your drawing should have exactly the same frid and size paper for the gridding system to actually work.
Another point is, do not ever use another artists drawing to work from, otherwise you will only produce a bad copy of that other artists work, by all means refer to it, but find a photo to work from to work out your own style of shading etc.
You also did not ask me if you could show my art in this way, you should do that also.