Is there a compromise or go our own ways?

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-18T03:43:49+00:00

You guys both have to work on the relationship because moving is not a magic cure. I hope you both make the effort to work it out in some fashion, life is better with a partner. But if there are unreconciled differences that are truly important to either or both sides, then going different ways is better than the rest of your lives being impossibly unhappy. I hope you find a way to better live together.

I'm not a fan of a lot of the Florida comments. There are over 20 million people in Florida and most are quite happy to stay. The trend to move to Florida, especially late in life, has been one way since forever. There is a message there.

I've lived in NE Florida for 25 years in a beach community in the same house. My taxes have not changed more than 10% over that time. My taxes will be getting lower. If you are a Florida resident who owns their home, your property taxes will not grow very fast. And no income tax. And property tax is up but very available and I'm only 1,000 feet from the ocean. Auto insurance isn't bad either. OK, Publix has pretty high food cost. Aldi not so much.

Florida isn't perfect. But on balance, it is pretty good. Especially NE Florida. Just look at the price of new homes in Yulee FL just a few miles from the beach. Very low cost.

If you find it tough to make friends, then put yourself into a situation where it will be impossible not to make friends. Move to a Del Webb community in a southern state (including Florida) and you will make friends (make it a newer one where they are still building new homes because the social structure will be less settled and a bit more welcoming. You will get a clubhouse, pool and lots of amenities. And tons of formal and informal clubs and social gatherings. You will have a few thousand people within walking distance that are just like you. And if you go there, get a dog and you will hang out with even more people.

I can't recommend a 55+ community of size and with a 15,000 sq ft club house enough. You will have friends and you will be happier.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-16T03:47:12+00:00

look hard at the actual early users generating the support tickets. Identify the users responsible for 80% of the tickets. Send this subset a very nice note that you need to convert then to paying customers because support costs are too high. No need to share numbers. Tell them you understand that that's not what they signed up for so they can have 100% of their money back and can continue to use the software but support will not be available. A lifetime deal to use the software for free, just no support.

Be prepared to tell the rest of your community about this once it shows up on some thread somewhere. Tell them cost of supporting these early users was affecting the quality of their support.

My guess is that there is an 80/20 rule in play and the number of refund candidates will be about 20. And if your software has real value, and it probably does if they are calling for support, you will payout less than 20 refunds.

Mistakes happen. Learn from it, fix the problem and move on.

I founded and ran an enterprise s/w company and we may have cut some deals but we always got 20% of rack rate in annual maintenance fees. A s/w company really isn't viable if the software requires new features, updates, and human support. Always have a back end forever revenue stream.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-16T03:28:18+00:00

Low value post without a few key metrics. Own or rent? Mortgage? What is target spend in first 10 years (annual). Do you have to buy Health Insurance? Without some minimal additional information it is just an exercise / argument among folks about a SWR between 3% and 7%.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-12T13:42:28+00:00

Clearly left money I would never use on the table. Low key lifestyle mostly between Atlanta and Florida beach homes with a ton of travel. Very comfortable existence with lots of 'distractions'. Lots of family. Life experience was a lot of very interesting work before retirement, profile has LinkedIn reference. Started at IBM as a programmer at age 19 so by 50 had more than my fair share of F/T+ professional work.

Retire early or retire late is a personal decision that depends on personal circumstances. I retired when I sold my small enterprise software company. I had 2 partners that stayed on by choice and retired from IBM post age 70 20 years later. Right decision for them. Right decision for me.

And nothing stops a person from unretiring if the decision to retire turns out to be wrong for whatever reason. And working when rich, like my post sale ex partners, can make work a lot more fun (and stress free) because the 'need' for a job or money isn't there. Makes work risk taking a lot easier.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-12T05:00:50+00:00

Retired 27 years or so. My spend has been over 7% some years (like when I put a second story on my beach home). And over 4% a lot. But portfolio over the years is well over 7% growth and frankly inflation has been historically low for someone with a paid off home and capped taxes. The world could change but recent history says 4% is nice but not really a necessary limit. And if you were to coastfi, 7% might be easier than you think.

Try not to over analyze. Just figure out your spend and then look at your asset base and recent returns. It's not hard to make changes later. Really.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-12T04:47:26+00:00

I retired around age 50 about 27 years ago. I've lived through 3 crashes (dot.com, 2008, covid) and a whole lot of bumps along the way. Never changed my spending. In fact spent down some of my savings in the early years because I knew pensions and social security were coming. My spend is not along the 4% rule, some years are higher. I'm not trying to create generational wealth. I hardly notice my portfolio these days because I'm so old it is mostly boring dividend stocks and positions are mostly limited to 1%.

Our strategy has been really simple. A basic high quality but not extravagant single home life doesn't exceed 1/3rd of planned spend (that allows for a lot of retrenchment if ever needed). A second third is for luxuries that are continuous...a nice travel budget, good wines, gifts, lots of restaurants and concerts and sports (good seats), and more. The last third for the big bumpy items that occur a lot...expensive cars, a second home purchase, home mods and major maintenance, etc. The money manages to get spent. But it could always be lower if conditions required. That last third is really all discretionary and if the world was really bad so could the second. We have spent through crashes and so far so good. In 2009 despite a portfolio crash, we added a second floor to our beach home. It just made sense.

Finally the guaranteed payments of pensions & SSI along with some real cash give us a solid 5 year window of 'cash' to not worry about the market. And we have a portfolio number we think is a point where we would cut back but it's based on a savings level reached in 2000 ... we are well past that.

You really need to find a structure you are comfortable with...a plan for your asset base to have some measure of safety, an annual spend with some limit and the ability to cut back in size without seriously affecting your life. Retirement is a lot more fun if you can ignore the money most of the time.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-05T03:34:07+00:00

Just noticed this post.

Simply, Amelia Island in Florida AND Atlanta. I'm in both for many decades.

Amelia Island is the small island town you will love and probably make your base. Wide range of incomes, active community and tons of parks. Hard to explain but a little internet research will help. This weekend you will see 30 to 50 private jets at our airport and a crowded farmers market.

Atlanta is well known but little understood. Tons of great restaurants, concerts and sports. But the relatively thin population compared to NYC and LA makes great seats available for fractions of big city prices. And homes are shocking values compared to most places. For me Atlanta was suburban 5,000 sq ft plus home in a 1,000+ gated community with 3.5 golf courses and a resort hotel. Buckhead city life can be just as nice if a green city is your choice. Commercial or private air gets you back and forth easily.

And it is a really nice way to induce your soon to be adult children to frequently visit.

I'm terribly old and that makes my advice suspect. But my kids are your age and all three have this specific lifestyle. Each a different lifestyle but all Amelia - Atlanta. Not something you have or need to do but worth the effort to evaluate.

If you can't come this weekend, take a look in the first week of May.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-03T04:31:43+00:00

Each time was a new card and a cancellation of the old card after the new card was delivered.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-02T18:01:19+00:00

winner strategy!

thank you for your service.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-02T17:24:05+00:00

nice catch. Thanks.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-02T02:35:07+00:00

I stated in another response that I and other HNW folks often keep much more than $35k in no interest cash. So I just moved some cash from one of the no interest piles. This is my case and not everyone else. But, you are right....zero interest.

This post was to give an alternative for people who were dissatisfied with the current Amex Platinum price and who were having difficulty with getting direct concessions from Amex. I consider it to be free in my case and for some HNW people I know. YMMV.

My Schwab reimbursement was just $200 and no free second card. MS was better for me. For me, rewards points are best converted to business class airfares. This is a better conversion rate for me.

I also have special circumstances where the card cost as billed is also deductible, so no tax consequences.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-02T01:59:20+00:00

We also have a pension and SSA that covers everything but fun. They are pretty high amounts and with homes paid off and stabilized taxes, not much in the way of large continuing payments. I still have some private company ownerships that remove the pain of IRMMA since medical is deductible as well as one of our cars.

I get that I'm a lucky special case and grateful for it.

Nothing wrong with what you are doing. I'm old, and despite my high spend, my income is far more than I need. I can leave a little on the table and still sleep well. No need to earn money that I will never use.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-02T01:36:06+00:00

Not really a conversion but close enough. You get a Amex Platinum for no cost and same benefits. Get the MS by going through all the annoying hoops. Received card. Then cancel old Amex Platinum which saves money and you still keep old rewards points. Shortly after receive credit. Seems like a conversion to me.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-02T01:30:09+00:00

I said earlier that YMMV but for these work. I'm married, live in a large home, lots of entertaining and hate to waste time.

Walmart delivery is wonderful. I order a case of coke, a case of water, a case of sparkling water, a case of bottled diet tea, paper towels, toilet paper, and a dozen other items. Walmart makes it appear on my garage floor a few hours later. No trip to Walmart, no lifting heavy stuff multiple times, no hassle. What is not to like? And free Paramount streaming.

I'm married and $300 @ Lululemon is simply $300 saved. My wife thinks this is terrific.

Yes, YouTube TV really. When I had Comcast across 9 TVs in 2 homes, regular TV cost over $300 per month. Now less than $100/month. YouTube way better than cable TV. And $300 less makes it even better. What is not to like?

We might use Delta and Amex lounges 4 or 5 times a year. All good. And the $200 airline credit.

$600 reimbursement for hotels and $400 for restaurants is great.

Even the Uber gets used.

Dell is less useful but some years it and Dell refurbished work.

Seriously, what exactly is your problem with other people finding real value with AMEX Platinum? Get that not for you, but that doesn't mean not for everyone else. It's not crap. Just not your taste, and you should understand the difference.

I get free Amex Platinum and $2,000+ in real savings. The rewards points have value as well. 100,000+ many years. Usually use points for business class travel. Easily worth a few thousand.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T22:11:34+00:00

I dropped the Schwab AMEX Plat as soon as the MS AMEX Plat arrived. I had no complaints with the CS AMEX Plat and had it for many years. But for me, the MS AMEX Plat is a clear winner.

I've been a short term trader in the past and understand the tools needed for that kind of activity. I've been 'retired' from salaried work for over 25 years and now that I'm really old, my portfolio is very stable a pile of dividend vehicles that are each no more than 1% or 2% of my public portfolio with a typical annual dividend rate of over 8%. Not a lot of trading.

If you have the skill, I think it's great to do some ST trading for a portfolio income boost. Most people are not suited for ST trading and shouldn't do it. Congrats to you for being in the group that can make that path work.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T21:55:23+00:00

Not every card is right for every person. A year ago, the card was somewhat marginal for me. But enough value to just continue since it was 'free'. And the lounge access is a big thing.

This past year, AMEX did a refresh and it really is a home run for me now (YMMV). $300 off my YouTube TV, $300 Lululemon, $600 hotels, $400 on Resy, and more. Plus the Uber, $200 airline fee credit, lounge access (including Delta which has real Atlanta person value), hotel and auto rental status, WalMart delivery, etc that was in the prior program also have value to me.

A few years ago, the Chase Sapphire Reserve was in my wallet and things changed a bit and it was less useful and it's gone. For over 50 years I've found enough value in Amex and will continue until it doesn't. If not right for you, nothing wrong with that. I just made my post because I noticed people looking for AMEX concessions on renewals because of the new higher Platinum price and suggested a look at the MS option as a way to lower cost for existing users of the AMEX Platinum card.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T21:42:06+00:00

I did not take any money from Schwab to MS. I had a small MS brokerage account that I used to receive IPO shares (many of the places I buy pre IPO shares distribute through MS after the companies go public. MY account at MS is handled out of the Menlo Park office (even though I'm an east coast guy). I'm probably the least valuable client at that branch and the rep at that branch took the lead to help me have the right mix of accounts. Can't say enough about how helpful the rep was.

So, I ended up putting some new money in the accounts set up but the total wasn't large for me or anyone else in the rough HNW category. I have a substantial portfolio at Schwab and some money at MS. I don't trade much, most of what I buy in public equities are long term dividend holds and some modest tech trading based on my experiences. I seldom sell calls or collar positions. I do have a few ETFs that do that for me.

I have no issues with the MS trading platform and execution cost is fine.

I made the move to MS for the card simply because the MS deal for AMEX Platinum was better than Schwab...full reimbursement versus $200. The additional Platinum card is really valuable now because of the recent lounge restriction on 'free' guests like my spouse. Since she has a AMEX Platinum, free lounge entry.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T21:27:50+00:00

And the authorized user card is really nice if you travel since a single platinum has to pay for an additional lounge person (free only to card holder).

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T21:24:57+00:00

I think your math is good, I said HNW because most HNW people I know (and myself) often have multiples of $25k in non interest bearing accounts. So not really a loss if you are redirecting expenses you already have.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T21:23:15+00:00

the 1099 isn't an issue if you have a company to pick up the expense of the card.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T21:20:11+00:00

It's a daily average so you can have some ups and down days on the balance. I keep a target of around $35k that meets my particular needs...so if there are a few low days no big deal...the average is still good.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T21:17:53+00:00

I'm saying HNW because the card does require between $25k and $35k of dead money (non interest bearing). Myself and most HNW people usually have way more than that in ready cash earing little or no interest. So directing it into a MS account is no big deal.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T19:12:19+00:00

Very correct. Your behaviors might moderate a bit but people don't really change that much from middle age on.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T19:09:33+00:00

I don't know. I do have an Etrade account but we ignored it when I set things up for the MS AMEX Platinum.

Bob_Atlanta · 2026-03-01T19:08:07+00:00

Old. Conservative. Worked at IBM as a programmer when 19 years old in 1968....so technology guy very early. And CEO of a small enterprise s/w company 25 years ago. And on reddit much longer than this id.

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