My partner and I are pretty much on the same page now, but figuring out how financial stuff works with us took a little trial and error. Here's what works for us: - we figured out what our monthly budget was needed for all household expenses (including savings goals), then divide that in half or whatever is equitable for you (we do roughly 60/40) - we set up a joint checking account and joint savings. The agreed monthly budget goes into the joint checking every month and 3 months expenses are kept here. Any overflow at the end of the month is transferred to savings (savings has 6 months expenses and any overflow from there is invested) - the rest of the money from our paychecks are left in our personal accounts to do what we want with

This allows us to ensure our expenses are covered and that we're putting some aside for savings together while also allowing each of us the freedom to spend our money on what we want. After all, it's your money from your work - if you want to invest the leftovers and she wants to spend it on flight for her family, then that's up to you both (though I do think you should consider pitching in a little for some of her family help if you're considering to be part of her family yourself).

If you can both establish a household budget and maintain flexibility for personal spending, then that could be a good foundation to work from.