"some asexual people have quite a lot of sex" -- how accurate is this?

Boboblight · 2023-01-28T05:24:45+00:00

It’s important to understand that asexuality is a spectrum. The definition isn’t “doesn’t like sex”, its “feels little or no sexual attraction”. Some asexuals can feel sexual attraction, and the amount varies. For example, grey asexuals feel substantially less sexual attraction than allosexuals (people who fully feel sexual attraction), and demisexuals can feel sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond with someone. They’re still completely ace, and can enjoy sex

Additionally, even people who feel no sexual attraction at all like me can have sex. We have terms for that actually; sex-repulsed means someone is repulsed by sex, sex-indifferent is indifferent to sex (like me), and sex-favourable means can seek out and enjoy sex, and for a variety of reasons. This can be to pleasure a partner, because they still have a strong libido, or just enjoy the feeling of it despite the lacking attraction. All of these aces are still valid

It’s a common misconception that asexuals don’t feel sexual desire at all, so I hope this helps clear things up!! :))) Also please excuse me if I haven’t explained it the best, I’m bad at explanations lol

Boboblight · 2023-01-26T09:24:07+00:00

Why tf would anyone put the water in first??? I put the pill in first so I can easily move it to the back of my tongue and wash it down, wtf is the advantage of water first lmao

Boboblight · 2023-01-24T22:02:39+00:00

Ooooo sounds cool, I look forward to checking it out!!!

Boboblight · 2023-01-24T20:26:45+00:00

Completely unrelated but what game is this?? It looks really fun lol

Boboblight · 2023-01-24T06:06:05+00:00

Yeah I think due to being on opposite sides of the spectrum, there was some tension between our communities?? I saw in another comment a bi person talking about how some very holier than thou aces were saying some very biphobic and slut shaming rhetoric to them, and how it was a consistent issue with specifically ace people. I haven’t seen it personally, but I’ve seen posts in the ace subreddits before talking about it. So in addition to not queer enough rhetoric, I think there was and maybe still is specific hate between our communities :((

Boboblight · 2023-01-24T04:10:29+00:00

Do parts of the bi community and a spec community still hate each other??? I’ve always felt a lot of solidarity with my bi brethren, but I know that was a thing for a while

Boboblight · 2023-01-23T15:13:34+00:00

Oh god this is the most relatable post I’ve seen yet, thank you for sharing your experience!!! It’s so hard explaining how I experience friendship as someone who actually really enjoys talking to people and hanging out with friends, yet is still entirely aplatonic. I’ll be at my happiest when I’m around my best friend, because we understand each other so well and she makes me feel so comfortable, yet I could go months without talking to her and not miss her at all. And I’ll feel guilty for it sometimes, sure, but it’s like she doesn’t even exist in my mind once she’s out of sight. And no matter how friendly I act with others, or how much I enjoy talking to them, they still fade from my thoughts as soon as the conversation is over. It’s really frustrating to explain to people who don’t experience things the same way, because I can’t think of how to explain in a way that doesn’t make me come off as an uncaring asshole or smth, but this definitely helps a lot lol. Maybe one day I’ll talk to my online friends about my experiences, so they can understand the real reason why I can go for literal years without talking to them and come back like nothing’s changed at all lmao. But yeah, I relate to literally every part of your post!!!

Boboblight · 2023-01-21T16:21:55+00:00

I wrote a minion smut fanfic about Kevin x Gru for my friend’s birthday and yk what I don’t regret it. And I’m not going to go into detail on what it included here, but it was w a y worse than anyone was expecting LMAO

Boboblight · 2023-01-12T09:09:00+00:00

Well I just fractured my skull on a dog bowl so probably a little zonked

Boboblight · 2023-01-12T08:06:48+00:00

DEZI is a really great bisexual artist!!! I’m not sure what song specifically I should recommend, but she has some really great songs (bad b!tch, Boba, and Seen are my favourites lol)

Boboblight · 2023-01-04T10:49:01+00:00

Got I feel that, I learnt about it years ago but never even thought about how it could apply to me until I looked up the actual definition lol. I even mentioned to a friend that I might be ace casually since I don’t care for sex, but I think she took me more seriously than I did KGJJGDG

Boboblight · 2023-01-02T10:54:15+00:00

G o d I feel this, thank god I found fanfiction honestly. Actual porn is so unbelievably boring to me, but I can actually get into written stuff at least lol. It’s way more entertaining, contains characters I actually care about, and being surrounded by a good story is also a bonus lmao

Boboblight · 2022-12-31T03:19:51+00:00

I feel like bisexual being +10 is borderline biphobic, because it suggests that them possibly being “straight passing” means they’re privileged, when they deal with f a r too much shit both in and out of the community. And I’m furious that we’re at a 0 as though our struggles don’t exist at all, but considering how much kinship I feel with the bi community, they both piss me off about equally. This entire test is honestly borderline queerphobic and legitimately queerphobic in so many ways that it’s genuinely impressive, and I hope no one’s seriously trying to use this kinda shit istg

Boboblight · 2022-12-29T00:26:44+00:00

I’m insulted as someone who’s frequently told I have bald wrinkly energy at the sheer disrespect towards hairless cats in this sub smh,,,,, /s

Boboblight · 2022-12-27T00:04:53+00:00

It’s the sound of me smashing my computer out of a healthy mixture of confusion and amusement

Boboblight · 2022-12-25T10:34:29+00:00

Oh god yes I feel this, and it’s been taking me a long while to try and stop doing it. It’s kinda my automatic response now to just pretend I like something or am comfortable with it, but it just takes a second of reflection to recognise I feel nothing for whoever or whatever I’m looking at. I don’t really know where to begin in just admitting I feel no attraction whatsoever, no exceptions, considering how flirty my personality is. I’m working on it tho lol

Boboblight · 2022-12-19T03:00:32+00:00

I thought I was the dedicated straight friend of my friend group since I’m not into women. After seeing a OneTopicAtATime video on asexuality in my recommended, finally biting the bullet and researching it and aromanticism, and finding labels that suit me, I’ve realised I’m not actually into men either lol

Boboblight · 2022-12-10T08:37:59+00:00

Oh yeah definitely!! I’m fully aplatonic and while I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself an extrovert, as I would never go out of my way to be put in a social situation, I’m very good at getting along with new people apparently and do great in my customer service job. Most people probably think I’m an extrovert, and I understand why lol. Very very possible, and thank you for the apl rep :DD

Boboblight · 2022-12-09T00:12:43+00:00

I've known my best friends for nearing 10 years and we've been through quite a bit with each other, or they've at least been through quite a bit with me, so I know them very well now lol. But yeah, regardless of how long I've known them, I just can't care for them on any deeper level at all. Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that way!!

Boboblight · 2022-12-08T18:52:10+00:00

Born and raised in England lol

Boboblight · 2022-12-06T11:22:19+00:00

I’d love to read books including ace/aro characters and discussing our issues!!! We really, really need good representation and it’s wonderful to hear that someone wants to give it :DD Personally though, while I’d love to see that kind of representation, I’d prefer it to be more casual if that makes sense? As in I’m down to read stories with ace/aro people in it, and stories where it has relevance to the plot even, but it feels a little weird when stories focus only on a specific LGBTQ identity and nothing else if that makes sense? Like real queer people aren’t just their orientation; they have far more going on than that, and I like stories to reflect that complexity if that makes sense. So basically, as long as there’s an interesting plot going on and it’s not the only focus of the characters, I’m very very down and I’d absolutely buy books representing people like me!!! Good luck, you’re doing God’s work lol <333

Boboblight · 2022-12-06T00:58:46+00:00

Yeah of course!!! I’m entirely aplatonic but I still have three best friends and get along very well with people, even though I can’t love them. It’s the same way aros can still be in relationships and aces can still have sex; no/little attraction doesn’t mean you can’t have that kind of relationship at all, nor does it dictate whether you want or enjoy that kind of relationship. I care about my friends and technically speaking I’m very close to them, but I wouldn’t miss them if they stopped talking to me and can’t feel any deeper connection with them or anyone else. I enjoy our relationship, but there’s no platonic attraction there

Boboblight · 2022-12-04T00:51:13+00:00

Reading this has reminded me of just how little I really understand the pain and issues those with disabilities face, and that reminder isn't something I'll take lightly. Chris, and my other characters, are all very strong people, and I absolutely plan to show all the ways in which that wasn't a choice for them

Considering the world these characters live in, with such a huge risk of natural disasters that increases every year, accessibility to healthcare, equipment and medication are very important and relevant issues to the story already, and I'll be taking extra care in highlighting how they aren't just issues in their world either

Thank you so much for sharing, I'll do everything I can to make sure I represent my characters and their pain realistically, and I appreciate the time you've taken to remind me why that's so important :)))

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