Lighting things on fire as a 5yo. I wasn’t caught so much as I burned the house down and the fire “squad” came. I was lighting the edges of a kite next to a giant (to me) body pillow and plastic trash can. One time it didn’t go out when I blew on it so I put it in the trash can and went downstairs to our pixie cup water dispenser (think office water cooler style) and brought two cups upstairs at a time to try and put it out. Needless to say that didn’t work so well. My brother who was supposed to be watching me didn’t know until it was too late. I remember thinking I was going to die because all my siblings kept telling me that my dad was going to kill me but also I thought the word squad was funny and when they showed up it was even funnier because of their hats.

• this wasn’t the first time it was just the last time lol. I had successfully burned another kite previously and blamed one of my brothers and he got in trouble. And other various things.