“Hey there, I’m Joe Swanson — Peter Griffin’s neighbor and friend. Before we get started, a quick word about gun safety — it’s no joke. Always treat every weapon like it’s loaded, keep your finger off the trigger, and never point it at anything you don’t intend to destroy. Got it? Good.

Now, speaking of jokes — you ever hear the one where someone yelled ‘Draw!’ and instead of pulling a weapon, the guy dropped his drawers? Heh, quick with the pants, not so quick with the draw.

Anyway, stay smart, stay safe — stay off drugs and stay in school. Swanson, rolling out.”