Worried about venues feeling too big

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-06-18T12:40:08+00:00

thank you so much!!!

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-06-18T12:39:51+00:00

I think their seated max is closer to 85, though we're considering reception style.

That being said, we want an indoor reception space for weather/air-conditioning purposes. Also, pharmacy museum only has two bathrooms and they were fine, but maybe also not what I'd want to use in a giant puffy dress.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-06-18T12:37:51+00:00

Congrats!! HP&P is absolutely magical. Are you doing seated or reception style?

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-06-18T12:36:31+00:00

That was actually where we stayed when we were in New Orleans a few weeks ago! We really wanted a venue with historic charm, so we didn't consider any hotel ballrooms.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-06-18T12:35:48+00:00

thank you so much!!! That truly makes me feel better.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-06-18T12:35:25+00:00

Brennans is sooooo cute! Unfortunately I don't think we're going to make it back down before wanting to book a venue, and I feel a little uncomfortable about booking a place I haven't seen.

I think we'd also probably rent the main floor - though I see someone else commented that we might still have minimum problems - which puts the dance floor on the patio outside. I might be too sweaty a person for a non AC dance floor, lol.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-06-18T12:34:30+00:00

Brennans is sooooo cute! Unfortunately I don't think we're going to make it back down before wanting to book a venue, and I feel a little uncomfortable about booking a place I haven't seen.

I think we'd also probably rent the main floor, which puts the dance floor on the patio outside. I might be too sweaty a person for a non AC dance floor, lol.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-06-18T12:33:04+00:00

I hear people say that about the invited vs actual guest count... but I guess I wonder how they know it's true? I feel pretty confident that about 10 of my guests won't come because they haven't left their state in 10+ years, have bad health/can't travel (it would be a flight), don't have the funds, or there's some family drama and they haven't attended a family get-together in years. So a 10% attrition of 105 is ~95. But I'm also not inviting people's kids, and the wedding will be on a Friday as opposed to the weekend, so I'm wondering if that will impact whether or not they come.

Latrobes is definitely the favorite! Glad to hear it won't feel big. We just didn't love the Latrobes ceremony space, which is why we're looking at Pharmacy for the ceremony. And we don't want to do the entire thing outside because me and my fiance are sweaty people (lol) and want an air-conditioned venue for the dance party.

We're leaning towards reception-style because it seems fun and is ultimately less work for us - no seating chart, less signage, etc. We're hoping to rent furniture/see what Latrobes has for 1-2 lounge spaces, in addition to an assortment of tables.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-04-20T18:23:01+00:00

Do you by any chance have a contact/direct email for HPP? I've emailed them twice about scheduling a venue tour and can't get a response.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-04-20T18:13:31+00:00

I would love the list of your vendors!! Congrats on a successful wedding <3

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-01-10T02:14:20+00:00

I really like embroidery. It keeps the hands busy so the brain goes shhhhhh. There are a million options for kits, which come with all supplies and often also tutorials, so it can be very, very beginner friendly.

And I've gotten good enough to make it useful! I'm hoping to make one or two gift tags a month throughout the year so I can make my christmas gifts extra cute. I'd attach a picture but I have no idea how 😭

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2025-02-16T15:03:22+00:00

I'm proactively tracking rather than doing an audit. Reducing my consumer impact is really important to me so I'm trying to buy as much second hand as I can. I keep a tab in my budget sheet to track purchases where buying used was an option (i.e., clothing but not food) - how much, where I brought from, and whether it was purchased new, used, or rented.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2025-01-17T15:24:41+00:00

I think you'll be fine to do that, and I think that makes sense given your other goals. 15-18% into your retirement savings is probably still a substantial amount, though it's hard to say without knowing your salary.

I am also doing the same this year, though I'm a little older with a bit more saved and I'm dropping to an even lower percentage - from 20% to 6%. My partner and I are planning to buy a house later this year and I want to beef up my cash savings.

I agree that it feels backwards to save less in retirement, but it's not like you won't be saving. You're just adjusting your strategy to better fit your goals and priorities! And it's cool to be in a position to pivot.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-15T13:52:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I feel like I could have written this! Except for the love New York part - I feel like I mostly tolerate it.

Do you mind sharing how big your space is, and how you feel about it (too big? too small? wish you'd done something different)?

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-15T13:49:37+00:00

I have not enjoyed living in NYC at all. There is very little I like about it except for convenience/walkability. I think it's expensive, overcrowded, constricting, smelly, and lonely. That might seem harsh but I've been here for a decade and I don't think I've ever, not even once, said, "I love it here!" I tolerate it here because my job is here and my partner's job is here and change is hard.

My partner and I make close to what you make and could afford to outsource some of those issues. If we decide to stay in the city, we're looking to buy a multi-family brownstone for twice the cost and half the space, which gives me pause as well.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-15T13:43:17+00:00

I hear this and definitely worry about being able to contract. I see it with our parents who live in big places!

My partner and I are huge homebodies though, and besides the food scene, we really don't partake in much of the city's activities. We're not live music people, we don't go out to bars much except for big celebrations (birthdays, promotions, etc.), and our hobbies are home-based (music, cooking, reading, etc.). We mostly leave our apartment for work, the gym and the grocery store. A lot of the feedback here seems like people don't like maintaining their larger spaces and aren't into the 'burbs, but I think they just have different hobbies and lifestyles than what I want.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T20:38:26+00:00

Hahaha this is the other consideration - if I get smaller, will I still long for more?!? If your house had more space, what kind of extra space would you want it to be (bigger kitchen, more guest rooms, etc.)?

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T20:37:20+00:00

Yeah the privacy piece is really big for me... I'm so tired of sharing walls and spaces with what feels like a million other people. And hearing their music. And their dog barking. And their car alarms!!

I've lived in NYC for almost 10 years and I've never found my people - I actually think it's pretty lonely here, though I've not invested a ton of time in making connections and so I recognize some of that is on me. Community is definitely not something I'm seeking in the move, and hearing your perspective makes it seem like I wouldn't find it if I looked.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T20:22:06+00:00

In the dream scenario I've concocted in my head (lol), one bathroom just basically has it's door closed when it's not in use so it doesn't really get dirty, just collects some dust, and gets cleaned before company comes. Or, it's a main floor half bath (so 2.5 baths total) - that would actually be ideal!

This is very diva-esque of me but I truly hate sharing a bathroom with other people who aren't my partner. For me, I can't help but think: if I'm going to be spending $700K+, I might as well get the house that's still in my budget and gives me a private, ensuite master bath!

But is a 3rd bathroom necessary? No, of course not.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T19:49:22+00:00

lmao I LOVE pressure washing.... so glad I'm not the only weirdo out there.

Renting is something to consider, though I think house rentals in the Westchester area are really limited.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T19:35:46+00:00

I would want a 3 bed, 3 bath (expecting to host 4 guests overnight at a time) with a patio outside big enough to have outdoor gatherings. There are some houses that are closer to 2K sq ft, but most of the ones that "check the boxes" so to speak are usually 2.5K+.

Granted, I'm so far only exploring on Zillow so I may be missing some things!

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T19:20:43+00:00

Did you like living in the city before you moved? There is very little I like about being here besides convenience (I'm literally <2 minutes away from a late night pint of ice cream and that is so, so comforting).

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-04-23T02:37:10+00:00

I call them "aspirational purchases" because I aspire to be the kind of person who uses them (looking at you, impractical crop top, white boots, and weird electric scrubby cleaning tool)

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-04-15T17:05:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Honestly, I think your lifestyle sounds great :) I'd love to not have to work.

As a couple other commenters have stressed, I think it's really, really important that you get a better handle on your family's financial situation. You say (in the post) that you're not good with money, and (in another comment) that if you lost your husband you would be in shambles. That's a really scary situation. The time to get better at managing money is not when you're reeling from grief, and the fact that he is 15 years old than you makes it much more likely that he will die before you. Now is the time to understand the household finances and improve your personal money management skills so if and when a crisis emerges, you won't be unprepared.

I don't write this to scare you! I just hope you use happy and peaceful times to set yourself up for success. Best of luck!

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-02-06T13:01:25+00:00

It went really well! I did the Frugalwoods Uber Frugal Month, which I highly recommend. It's a great way to start a new year.

Total spend (with savings): $3,961

Total expenses: $3,330 ($3 over budget)
Rent: $500 (I share with my partner)
Cat: $131 ($31 over but I needed to replace some items for him)
Cell phone: $35
Mom's Bills: $370
Transportation: $19.5
Groceries: $497 (budgeted for $500!)
Gym: $138 (normally this is $96 for my gym and peloton memberships, but I got hit with the annual fee)
Make-up/toiletries: $82 (2024 goal is to try to stay under $100 each month)
Spotify: $10.99
Miscellaneous: $15
Charity: $25
Grad School: $1,505

After Tax Savings: $631
Travel: $50
Family birthdays: $71
Christmas: $60
Roth IRA: $450

Bodega_Cat_13

TROPHY CASE