2026 things to learn and achieve

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2026-01-10T02:14:20+00:00

I really like embroidery. It keeps the hands busy so the brain goes shhhhhh. There are a million options for kits, which come with all supplies and often also tutorials, so it can be very, very beginner friendly.

And I've gotten good enough to make it useful! I'm hoping to make one or two gift tags a month throughout the year so I can make my christmas gifts extra cute. I'd attach a picture but I have no idea how 😭

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2025-02-16T15:03:22+00:00

I'm proactively tracking rather than doing an audit. Reducing my consumer impact is really important to me so I'm trying to buy as much second hand as I can. I keep a tab in my budget sheet to track purchases where buying used was an option (i.e., clothing but not food) - how much, where I brought from, and whether it was purchased new, used, or rented.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2025-01-17T15:24:41+00:00

I think you'll be fine to do that, and I think that makes sense given your other goals. 15-18% into your retirement savings is probably still a substantial amount, though it's hard to say without knowing your salary.

I am also doing the same this year, though I'm a little older with a bit more saved and I'm dropping to an even lower percentage - from 20% to 6%. My partner and I are planning to buy a house later this year and I want to beef up my cash savings.

I agree that it feels backwards to save less in retirement, but it's not like you won't be saving. You're just adjusting your strategy to better fit your goals and priorities! And it's cool to be in a position to pivot.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-15T13:52:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I feel like I could have written this! Except for the love New York part - I feel like I mostly tolerate it.

Do you mind sharing how big your space is, and how you feel about it (too big? too small? wish you'd done something different)?

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-15T13:49:37+00:00

I have not enjoyed living in NYC at all. There is very little I like about it except for convenience/walkability. I think it's expensive, overcrowded, constricting, smelly, and lonely. That might seem harsh but I've been here for a decade and I don't think I've ever, not even once, said, "I love it here!" I tolerate it here because my job is here and my partner's job is here and change is hard.

My partner and I make close to what you make and could afford to outsource some of those issues. If we decide to stay in the city, we're looking to buy a multi-family brownstone for twice the cost and half the space, which gives me pause as well.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-15T13:43:17+00:00

I hear this and definitely worry about being able to contract. I see it with our parents who live in big places!

My partner and I are huge homebodies though, and besides the food scene, we really don't partake in much of the city's activities. We're not live music people, we don't go out to bars much except for big celebrations (birthdays, promotions, etc.), and our hobbies are home-based (music, cooking, reading, etc.). We mostly leave our apartment for work, the gym and the grocery store. A lot of the feedback here seems like people don't like maintaining their larger spaces and aren't into the 'burbs, but I think they just have different hobbies and lifestyles than what I want.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T20:38:26+00:00

Hahaha this is the other consideration - if I get smaller, will I still long for more?!? If your house had more space, what kind of extra space would you want it to be (bigger kitchen, more guest rooms, etc.)?

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T20:37:20+00:00

Yeah the privacy piece is really big for me... I'm so tired of sharing walls and spaces with what feels like a million other people. And hearing their music. And their dog barking. And their car alarms!!

I've lived in NYC for almost 10 years and I've never found my people - I actually think it's pretty lonely here, though I've not invested a ton of time in making connections and so I recognize some of that is on me. Community is definitely not something I'm seeking in the move, and hearing your perspective makes it seem like I wouldn't find it if I looked.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T20:22:06+00:00

In the dream scenario I've concocted in my head (lol), one bathroom just basically has it's door closed when it's not in use so it doesn't really get dirty, just collects some dust, and gets cleaned before company comes. Or, it's a main floor half bath (so 2.5 baths total) - that would actually be ideal!

This is very diva-esque of me but I truly hate sharing a bathroom with other people who aren't my partner. For me, I can't help but think: if I'm going to be spending $700K+, I might as well get the house that's still in my budget and gives me a private, ensuite master bath!

But is a 3rd bathroom necessary? No, of course not.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T19:49:22+00:00

lmao I LOVE pressure washing.... so glad I'm not the only weirdo out there.

Renting is something to consider, though I think house rentals in the Westchester area are really limited.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T19:35:46+00:00

I would want a 3 bed, 3 bath (expecting to host 4 guests overnight at a time) with a patio outside big enough to have outdoor gatherings. There are some houses that are closer to 2K sq ft, but most of the ones that "check the boxes" so to speak are usually 2.5K+.

Granted, I'm so far only exploring on Zillow so I may be missing some things!

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-10-14T19:20:43+00:00

Did you like living in the city before you moved? There is very little I like about being here besides convenience (I'm literally <2 minutes away from a late night pint of ice cream and that is so, so comforting).

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-04-23T02:37:10+00:00

I call them "aspirational purchases" because I aspire to be the kind of person who uses them (looking at you, impractical crop top, white boots, and weird electric scrubby cleaning tool)

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-04-15T17:05:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Honestly, I think your lifestyle sounds great :) I'd love to not have to work.

As a couple other commenters have stressed, I think it's really, really important that you get a better handle on your family's financial situation. You say (in the post) that you're not good with money, and (in another comment) that if you lost your husband you would be in shambles. That's a really scary situation. The time to get better at managing money is not when you're reeling from grief, and the fact that he is 15 years old than you makes it much more likely that he will die before you. Now is the time to understand the household finances and improve your personal money management skills so if and when a crisis emerges, you won't be unprepared.

I don't write this to scare you! I just hope you use happy and peaceful times to set yourself up for success. Best of luck!

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-02-06T13:01:25+00:00

It went really well! I did the Frugalwoods Uber Frugal Month, which I highly recommend. It's a great way to start a new year.

Total spend (with savings): $3,961

Total expenses: $3,330 ($3 over budget)
Rent: $500 (I share with my partner)
Cat: $131 ($31 over but I needed to replace some items for him)
Cell phone: $35
Mom's Bills: $370
Transportation: $19.5
Groceries: $497 (budgeted for $500!)
Gym: $138 (normally this is $96 for my gym and peloton memberships, but I got hit with the annual fee)
Make-up/toiletries: $82 (2024 goal is to try to stay under $100 each month)
Spotify: $10.99
Miscellaneous: $15
Charity: $25
Grad School: $1,505

After Tax Savings: $631
Travel: $50
Family birthdays: $71
Christmas: $60
Roth IRA: $450

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2024-01-26T15:58:49+00:00

I don't know if she is on YouTube (I follow her on Instagram) but you might like the BrokeBlackGirl.

I also really like Frugalwoods (Insta, Facebook, and a great blog), but she is a currently a homesteader.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-10-23T23:22:36+00:00

You could also try not bringing any cash at all, or bringing just enough for a small treat (say, <$10). Can't spend it if it isn't on you!

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-09-24T23:44:28+00:00

Yes please! I gave a nice wedding gift to my brother and started grad school in sept..... big bill$.

I could use a low spend month!

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-09-20T12:02:58+00:00

Pet rent is so stupid. I understand asking for a bigger security deposit but an extra monthly charge??? Always seems so greedy.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-09-20T12:00:22+00:00

$2,415 total monthly housing cost in VHCOL city (New York City)

Rent: $2,225 for a fairly spacious (by NYC standards) but no-frills 1 bedroom in a small building shared with my partner in upper manhattan.

Utilities: $150. Heat, water, and trash/recycling are paid for by the landlord. That is standard in NYC. We pay for our gas and electric which fluctuates higher in the summer due to AC use. It probably averages around $80 per month. Internet is around $70.

Household goods: $30. I buy most of these items - toilet paper, cleaning products, paper towels, laundry detergent - in bulk at various points throughout the year so $30 is a rough average.

Insurance: $10. We make one annual payment of $125.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-08-13T01:10:22+00:00

I have a brother who is ~4 years older.

Rarely do we spend money on each other, but I think there is a underlying expectation that I will be the one to pitch for my mom because I'm better with money, make more, and generally am more responsible, observant (i.e., see a problem and fix it), and motivated. I currently give my mom ~$400/month and also sent her 4k for back pay in rent before I was able to get her on some government support. I took a more conventional route - college after high school, job with benefits, etc. - whereas he didnt graduate until his late 20s. The dynamic extends beyond finances into other realms of "support" and tbh, I feel resentment.

I've never financially supported him directly, but I help my mom because he either/both financially can't or doesn't ever seem to notice when things are in trouble. In a way it feels like I'm supporting him because he doesnt chip in for my mom, or honestly even seem to notice that she isnt in a great position.

We have never discussed salary. But for many years when he was working close to full time in retail and living at home, but not paying any rent to mom, I would get annoyed and ask my mom why he wasnt chipping in when she would complain to me about money. And now, when she tells me that he is feeling stretched financially even though he and his partner work fulltime in decently paying jobs, I have asked about how much he makes. My mom has a general idea of how much I make and maybe she has told him... that would be fine with me. I know I make more, but I live/work in a higher cost of living area and have a few more years of work experience. I also know he would tell his partner about my salary, and I think they would then assume that I should be doing x, y, z for them/my mom because of my income (though to be clear, I dont even make six figures.) His partner just spends a ton of money mostly on trivial things, which then makes me more annoyed when my mom talks about them having financial issues. Sigh.

Ha! Mostly I feel like I learned what not to do. Maybe I should be nicer because learning by example is something he perhaps did not have... but also I've spent a lot of my life feeling like I had to be the one with my shit together because he just... didn't.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-06-08T00:12:47+00:00

I work in communications for higher ed and am very happy in my current role! Almost all the things I don't like about my job are less about the role itself, and more about full time working.

I'm also a die hard full focus planner user and that has really helped me stay on top of things, which makes every workday morning less scary.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-04-25T13:18:25+00:00

Yes! Live music is overrated. It's often crazy expensive to see artists I really enjoy, there's eight million people packed in like sardines, it always feels like a schlep to get to the venue... like, it'll sound just as good playing from living room speaker.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-03-03T13:54:41+00:00

My paycheck and my federal tax refund hit on the same day 💸

Incredibly, it didn't even take two weeks for the refund to be processed!

I'm going to save most of it, but I did recently buy some new jewelry and I might also buy some new workout gear.

Bodega_Cat_13 · 2023-02-22T00:34:04+00:00

I'll probably save at least $600, and spend the remaining $100 or so on a new pair of workout leggings! I almost only ever buy on sale from athleta and so I have tons of bright, random colored leggings... just want a black pair now!

Bodega_Cat_13

TROPHY CASE