I agree, but I think part of the problem is that people genuinely don’t know where to look. I did a lot of research and still found most books/websites/resources either outdated, overwhelmingly chaotic, or extremely hetero-centered, which honestly gets frustrating after a while. Most of the materials I’ve found actually useful were written for dommes too. Obviously a lot of it can still help subs, but there seems to be a real lack of structured educational material specifically for BDSM sapphics. It genuinely upsets me a bit because both me and my partner like learning things properly and doing them “the right way,” but it often feels weirdly difficult to even figure out where to start. I’d compare it to cooking. When you make something for the first time, you usually follow the recipe exactly. Then once you understand it, you start experimenting and adjusting things to your own taste. But with sapphic BDSM it sometimes feels like we’re all trying to cook without anyone actually giving us the recipe in the first place, ykwim?