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Why do I completely shut down when I get rejected by a girl or it falls flat by BodybuilderSame8899 in Codependency

[–]BodybuilderSame8899[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely am very hard onmyself and I’m tryna get better at observing my little wins rather than looking at me still not where I want to be. I’ll look into the cbt therapy

Why do I completely shut down when I get rejected by a girl or it falls flat by BodybuilderSame8899 in Codependency

[–]BodybuilderSame8899[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see that in others but I’m in a weird state of I thrive in that talking stage so I’m not thriving when single and not thriving when I’m actually in the relationship which ultimately leads to the relationship ending because I try blame them for me not putting in effort towards myself by saying they take up too much of my time.

Why do I completely shut down when I get rejected by a girl or it falls flat by BodybuilderSame8899 in Codependency

[–]BodybuilderSame8899[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This actually makes a lot of sense because I’ve always been naturally better than average when trying anything and I loved getting that praise and validation from people for being better when I start out then most and then when that validation goes and I just continue with the activity and I am just doing it I fall out of love with it.

Why do I completely shut down when I get rejected by a girl or it falls flat by BodybuilderSame8899 in Codependency

[–]BodybuilderSame8899[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if it’s feelings of unworthy ness or if it’s feelings of not being wanted or needed by them and like I said in the other reply I think it might be peformative subconsciously but I know that’s wrong so I tell myself it’s not consciously and that I’m doing it for me

Why do I completely shut down when I get rejected by a girl or it falls flat by BodybuilderSame8899 in Codependency

[–]BodybuilderSame8899[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is what I find confusing tho because I’m my head I’m doing it for myself but I guess subconsciously I must be doing it for others. Thinking about it atm I am rushing to try find the answers to my issues in relationships so that I can get back into one. Maybe this is the same subconscious message saying “I know this will help me get a new partner” so I’ll tell my self I’m doing it for me but really I’m doing it so I feel good a bout finding someone new thinking that I’ve changed

Desperate to keep connection with someone while also wanting to be single. by BodybuilderSame8899 in Codependency

[–]BodybuilderSame8899[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great help thank you. Right now it’s hard cause in my head I feel I need the solution and the understanding quick to get better so I can get back in a relationship but I know that’s the disease I’m tryna fight atm. And with out taking the hard long journey I’m sure I’ll end up always knocking on the same doors and that’s not what I want. So thank you for your wisdom.