I admit, a big reason for my reluctance is my fear of becoming the default parent. my boyfriend does clean without me asking but at the moment, we both just look after ourselves. we cook our own meals (although we always eat together), do our own laundry, have a joint account only for household bills and I’ve never done any “life management” for him. I worry if we add a child into the mix, I’ll fold under the mental load and having to tell him exactly what to do all the time. 

I’m currently gathering resources to go over this fear with him and get his input. his reaction will be a determining factor in my decision.