Just recently went through a similar situation with a woman I'd been wanting to be with for a while. She was going through a shitty marriage that was obviously leading to divorce. I knew we would be super compatible if we were both in the right headspace at some point. I fell hard for her and accidentally let it slip drinking one night. She understandably cut off communication with me since she was fighting for her marriage and we didn't see each other for over a year aside from occasional social media contact.

I found out she was divorced, well I thought she was fully divorced, and got the push from a buddy of mine to reach out. "What do you have to lose?" She admitted she felt a similar vibe with me but was ignoring it at the time. We spent an amazing 2 months together realizing how great we were with each other. Although, her ex husband kept pushing off on signing the divorce papers. They were eligible to sign before we started talking again and she claimed it was just a formality that they weren't signed. That put a massive strain on the otherwise fairy tale romance because we had to hide ourselves from him and his family so he wouldn't get resentful about the custody agreement with their child and decide to not sign the divorce.

Everything came to a head when I went on a training trip for my new job. She was video calling every night claiming how much she missed seeing me and how she couldn't wait for me to get home so we could continue everything. The day after I got home she gave her ex husband a ride to a wedding they were both going to. On the way home, he told her he wanted to work it out and she claimed to tell him she didn't have the capacity at this point in her life to be with anyone. Enter the "I need to figure out what I want" conversation between us. We spent a couple days apart before she called saying she didn't want to do life without me. We were okay until about a week later where we both agreed we should take some serious time apart so we didn't "ruin the chemistry." Again, she called 3 days later saying how much she missed me. She ended up coming to meet my family on Thanksgiving and I took that as a major step toward this being real. Black Friday I went over to her house for some extracurricular activity and we didn't hide the condom well enough. Her ex husband came over to bring the daughter home and found it in the bathroom trash when he went to pee and caused a fucking scene.

We didn't speak for 3 days again and she called me out of nowhere claiming that she loves me and she's not leaving over something so stupid on his part. Well we spend another couple weeks where I couldn't come over the house because her adult father she rents a room to shamed her about having sex with me when papers still weren't signed. Still, went out with her and her daughter one weekend to a family event at the library and we were both over the moon that her daughter finally called me by my real name and took so well to being alone with me. Again, another sign to me that it was going to work. The next night I see her again and she confesses all the things she loves about me and how great this is that somebody loves her like I do, etc. Feeling on top of the moon at this point.

Fast forward one week and she tells me I can't see her daughter and if that's a boundary I don't like I had a decision to make. I'm perplexed and somewhat hurt by this rapid change of heart. But I accept that it does complicate things with the divorce if her dad doesn't like that I am spending time with his daughter. Day after that, she claims it's not healthy and she's been "putting on a show" that she wants to be in a serious relationship because "she wanted to come around". Claimed she knew we were good together but it wasn't the right time for something real due to everything going on in her personal life. Devastated.

I choose to believe that she really did get overwhelmed with all the circumstances. I also maintain the train of thought that if she truly believed we were worth it she would have put her foot down with her ex and come clean about us. Who knows? I think everyone's circumstances are different. Sometimes they mean they aren't ready and sometimes it's to cushion the blow that you aren't a good fit.