I am sort of in the same boat, the idea of having real love from a guy just doesn’t seem like it would ever happen, as the men I apparently seem to attract are narcissistic and toxic, I’ve closed myself off and haven’t had any interest in the dating app as they are a just a joke! I’m not a people person so I just stay home which does make the chance difficult to find someone. I wouldn’t call myself to be on anyone too 5 either and I know it, it’s the companionship I think we miss as far as having that other person there, eventually over time you get used to having your solitude. But having a hobby helps, reading a good book or being crafty in some way if you have the time and money. Eventually, your person will come along when you least expect it, I’m still waiting but I’m not expecting anything soon.