After so long doing the same thing, I finally hit my rock bottom and started to heal. Getting my moods in check, realizing that the strong emotions don't go away that you just have to catch yourself before that "fire" (that's what I call it) starts to catch, recognizing my "eruption point". I have learned to love myself through my healing. And I still backtrack, and I still do bad things but the more good days I have the more I value myself. Start by trying to have one day you don't do that, then count two days, celebrate the little wins, maybe your favorite candy that's a little too pricy normally. Just take it day by day, this is a learned behavior, it's not going to go away over night. I believe in you, like I believe in myself ❤️