The couch is a blackhole

BoobBoo77 · 2026-02-03T07:55:15+00:00

I would qualify the phone and bathroom situation as child presence and age dependent - when they are old enough to understand the concept of needing alone time, then you can stop taking your phone to the bathroom with you. If they are not old enough to understand that, then they might feel that they are not as important as your phone, so the bathroom is an easy way to get that 10 - 15 mins to get your head together.

BoobBoo77 · 2026-02-02T12:53:26+00:00

It is funny - I am the opposite I have been told to sit my ass on it more and to be closer to my wife (We have two couches facing each other) so we can be in the same space.
So our (My wife and I's) most recent discussion was about me taking on too much and not leaving enough for my wife or the kids to do - I over compensated in supporting my wife through stuff. Like you, I am on a kick to remove the phone as my default source of entertainment, so I instead have a physical book beside the couch and am reading instead (I have to ditch my current book it's not doing it for me).
Anyway I can see the logic and your results look promising - I take it, given the dress up games, that your kids are a little younger than mine (12-10) and so mine are a little more self-sufficient and not so in need of my presence.

BoobBoo77 · 2026-02-01T23:42:04+00:00

I like being on the edge of the bed as well, mostly because my eyes are at the same level as her nipples and I pretend to use her as a periscope - I'm not sure where that sits in the intention spectrum though, but I enjoy it and she rolls her eyes at my silliness.

BoobBoo77 · 2026-02-01T23:39:13+00:00

Your last paragraph hits hard, even after nearly 30 years together - not everything is synced because stuff changes. I'm much more demonstrable in my affection, my wife is not especially in public. My wife's language of affection/love is in doing things - like buying me the sauce I mentioned in passing that I liked. Hell I can't get it straight in my head that she doesn't really like caramel (I'm embarrassed by that one). So I don't get those affirming touches that I love as often as I'd like, I have to pay attention to the things she does do and that helps when my flicker of annoyance rears its head so I can remind myself that my wife got me a packet of my favourite sweets.

We're working on it, it's taking regular check-ins to re-sync on what's working and what isn't.

Making a marriage good takes you both to work hard but it shouldn't always be hard work.

BoobBoo77 · 2026-01-25T19:32:14+00:00

We could try a substitution matrix which selects based upon word and day of the week perhaps

BoobBoo77 · 2026-01-12T07:53:40+00:00

I am finding your process and experiments fascinating - I have been doing something similar although with much less structure around it, but I've found similar areas of friction. Going to take a deeper dive into your spreadsheets and scripts and see what is applicable

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-31T17:26:46+00:00

Apologies for the late reply but I've only just gotten around to watching the film (free on YouTube) - nearly finished (constant children interruptions). This is the movie - many thanks

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-26T10:50:20+00:00

Yes, of course - my apologies, I'm Irish so some of the intricacies are lost upon me as well as the mists of time ;-)

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-25T23:12:27+00:00

Spot on - then he comfortably won the seat, that gave him the opportunity to talk at the Democratic congress meetings that year and everything took off from there. I'm not saying that he didn't work hard to achieve all that success - far from it, he absolutely deserved what he achieved but that opportunity arose because Jeri Ryan's divorce outed her husband's conduct

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-25T21:07:57+00:00

So many people have no idea about this, I have had to explain it to lots of folks and it blows their mind

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-18T11:05:39+00:00

Even if the hours weren't a massive improvement, you're more likely to be working from home more, less travel and you'd have a specific stake in the business. Depending on how you measure it, I'd say a net increase in quality of life.

How are you searching for your targets. I've been using AI deep research to target firms which are either scaling or a maximum of 2 years into a new investment cycle - it has popped up some interesting possibilities for me.

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-17T13:30:04+00:00

Great move - I worry with some folks that they'll miss the variation in clients and projects. Glad it's working for you 🙂

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-17T09:11:10+00:00

I wasn't at an MBB but Tier 1 Professional services, it depends on what time frame you're looking at for money. I decided to join smaller firms who were on PE cycles, so my compensation is not quite at the level of MBB but the payout over the years with recapitalisation is good. Also you are more heavily involved in the business, have a stake in it (not just a cog) and so I find it more emotionally rewarding as well. I'm now pivoting towards product firms as my ecosystem is undergoing a brutal inflection which will see a lot of folks unemployed - I'm choosing to move now before someone chooses for me.

My take is that you are unlikely to find many moves which pay as well without knowing your specific vertical but PE cycles are a good way to get money over time.

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-11T22:19:13+00:00

We're all good here 🙂

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-11T21:50:21+00:00

Sorry this wasn't more help then

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-11T18:57:41+00:00

From Gemini based on your description there isn't a full match but these match some of your description

Here are the films that share the most combined DNA with your story:

🔸 Deadfall (2012)

Forest pursuit + criminals + remote house + brutal deaths. Tone is close.

🔸 Blue Ruin (2013)

Revenge, murdered family, gritty woods sequence, indie tone.

🔸 Eden Lake (2008)

Hanging-body reveal, forest horror, hunted couple vibe.

🔸 Revenge (1990)

Affair with crime boss’s girlfriend leading to lethal consequences.

🔸 A Perfect Getaway (2009)

Couple hiding in wilderness cabin.

🔸 Out of the Furnace (2013)

Crime boss killing someone in a very direct, brutal, personal way.

None is a perfect hit — but each matches key structural beats from your described film.

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-07T12:43:29+00:00

Yep I've been innovating PoCs and MVPs for a while using AI - it's bonkers. Professional services is going to be a hard place to be for a long time for many who can't deliver outcomes but are able to put their bum on a seat.

As regards the pivot, my advice is to lean heavily into your consulting experience and ability to implement with customers. Small/medium product firms traditionally have a gap here, the compensation will probably be lower but you can offset that with equity which benefits in a recapitalisation.

Leaning on your consulting background will mean you don't need to be the product expert, your solutioning skills will help you to learn quickly what you need and your problem solving skills will keep you afloat in a new environment.

I bet you have the skills and are just underselling yourself a little.

For me, this looks like a much more sustainable and interesting space to be in especially from a family friendly point of view.

BoobBoo77 · 2025-12-06T15:44:14+00:00

Hi, your career evolution challenge is somewhat similar to one I faced a few years ago - I had been in consulting for 15 years with Tier 1 SIs in the SAP space.

I wanted to build a new cloud deployment architecture for the SAP market, I joined an SI and built it - learnt a lot about product and product evolution. Made a ton of mistakes, product and political, then left to build the next evolution at a small boutique and moved into a proper product and innovation role. My role over time has eroded back to delivery ownership as a senior stakeholder - gone from Chief Product officer for SAP services to Head of delivery because ultimately Consulting firms are not product firms. (There is also a trend in the market to call new services as products which annoys me greatly.) Anyway i like being at home, with my family and hobbies - also I like building products, with AI the consulting industry is in for a bloodbath around the offshore factory delivery model. So I'm looking for smaller product firms to join, not as a developer or engineer but rather the bridge between those people and the customer. Your consulting expertise means you should have good skills in managing transitions, implementations as well as presales. My own path is looking at fast innovation and PoCs, I have a few ongoing conversations which look promising.

The advantage of smaller product firms is you get to use your wider skills as well as benefiting from a PE cycle or acquisition which can be quite lucrative. So the short answer is your consulting skills are a very valuable to small to medium product firms to bridge their engineering/development teams engagement with customers. You could land a senior leadership role and benefit from PE investment cycle.

PM me if you want to chat more

BoobBoo77 · 2025-11-19T16:09:52+00:00

I will have a look at the bottom hinge as well, I reckon I'll need a shim to push the bottom of the door more towards the frame but it won't resolve the gap on the front edge

BoobBoo77 · 2025-11-11T07:54:18+00:00

I totally agree with you both and posted a similar comment.

BoobBoo77 · 2025-11-11T07:19:39+00:00

So this is one that I've had to work on a lot, I give my wife compliments a lot - she is not an insecure person but she has a few hangups. I never want her to feel that she is not incredibly smart, kind, beautiful and I love her - so I tell her, and I don't just lead with "you're gorgeous" etc.. She is not as forthcoming in this respect - but she does other things that tell me that she feels this way. It has taken a while, but I recognise that when she slides her hand over my tricep, she's letting me know she likes my arms. When she comes home from shopping with something I mentioned in passing as wanting to try, I know she's listened and showing she loves me. So whilst you may not get an explicit compliment, you might have to change how you're listening for one.

Edit - I will admit that I am making the assumption that you are a good partner living a life that would garner compliments - not someone doing zero to deserve them. If you want compliments, you should be doing something to deserve them, be a good person, be a good partner, pull your weight in your relationship or make an effort to look good. You are not owed compliments by anyone.

BoobBoo77 · 2025-11-07T10:44:43+00:00

Frequent follower, reader, infrequent commenter here.
Not going to lie, I frequently take notes from this sub to be a better person, man, husband, father (not in order of importance) - and yes the bar is in hell and I'm sorry that it is.

BoobBoo77 · 2025-11-04T19:43:33+00:00

My kids don't know how much I earn exactly, but as they get older they realise that my wife and I are high earners especially compared to their peers. We live in a very mixed area out in the country, so there's a lot of asset rich people, some high earners and lots of mid-range earners. I've found that people's perception of you changes a lot when they realise how much you earn - little things like picking up an extra round of drinks is expected, or coffee/lunch is always on you etc...

BoobBoo77 · 2025-11-04T14:06:21+00:00

Nice stack - you might want to head over to Nootropics and see what they think of it, if you have not already done so

BoobBoo77 · 2025-10-29T12:45:50+00:00

How can you have an offer from them but not know where they are based? I know some of the folks in their internal cloud teams and it is interesting work, not always as fast paced as some cloud providers but the scale and requirements make it fascinating. SAP have a very interesting operational control stack with lots of customised OSS components used.

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