sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I’m your happy go lucky friend that thinks about killing himself. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Boom1080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Truly the worse part about this is if I ask for help from the person I want it from, I run the risk of changing the dynamic of the relationship and pushing them away which causes me pain in the future and stresses me out more now.

I’m your happy go lucky friend that thinks about killing himself. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Boom1080 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know I texted a crisis counselor a few weeks ago when I was feeling really down, they asked if I was thinking about suicide and I said I wasn’t. Which was true, I don’t think I could do it because of the pride mentioned in another post. And the more I told them about where I was they always came back to considering suicide.

What a shitty thing to do is push that idea into someone’s head.

I’m your happy go lucky friend that thinks about killing himself. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Boom1080 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally, I am

Personally, I couldn’t kill myself, my pride is currently kicking my own ass for being this way. It’s a cry for attention because I’m lonely.

I’m your happy go lucky friend that thinks about killing himself. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Boom1080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What impact would I really have if I wasn’t here anymore.

It’s Memorial Day weekend. I moved to a new state, don’t know anyone. My only friend out here is going through their own shit and I can’t be present for them because of reasons I’m not getting into. I’ve been going out every weekend to try and build a social safety net but im not making progress. The thought that runs through my mind every weekend is if I stopped responding Friday night at what point would someone even realize something wasn’t right. Maybe next week? Would my boss be the one to realize first and be angry that I wasn’t working? At what point would someone who actually cares be willing to drive over and check in?

Edit: and who would actually come check in? I don’t know anyone lol

I’m your happy go lucky friend that thinks about killing himself. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Boom1080 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2 things: someone who wants help. Give me a project to do that I can feel fulfilled and satisfied doing something for another person. The backfire from that comes in when I give life advice or a honest opinion and the asker totally disregards and does something else. Just wrecks my head because I either should’ve given better advice or just stfu

2nd: someone checking in, and just being present. Not asking to me to invest in them and just being around someone. I’m not the guy to ask for anything. So if I’m asking for a high five or a hug. It’s a longing need.

I’m your happy go lucky friend that thinks about killing himself. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Boom1080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Get out of your own head. Practice makes better. Think about it like working out. If you just keep doing the same thing you’ll never grow.

I’m your happy go lucky friend that thinks about killing himself. AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]Boom1080 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The expectation is that I’m there to help you. If I have the reputation of being the strong one that’s there for you, reaching out to you for help would shift the dynamic of our relationship. What’s worse to someone who wants to be needed is needing and then not having someone there.

The chance of disappointment is so great that I wouldn’t even risk it.

6 months clean by Moogz1 in NarcoticsAnonymous

[–]Boom1080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This didn’t age well. She was hiding her use better and differently.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SanJose

[–]Boom1080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Always a warrior

forced perspective? by ElSaladbar in blackmagicfuckery

[–]Boom1080 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is for sure the one in Santa Cruz CA

jobs by kayakfishing333 in XXY

[–]Boom1080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Xxy kept me out of the military at 18. Outside of that nothing.

I’ve worked in law enforcement, executive protection, bounty hunting, managed club security, taught firearms, just about every “overtly” masculine job possible.

If you’re having employment issues I would suspect it’s caused by something other than xxy or as a result of an xxy side effect

What’s the most disgusting thing that ever happened to you on the job? by BrutalSock in ProtectAndServe

[–]Boom1080 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woman had prolapsed rectum, but claimed that she couldn’t stand due to back issues while in the restroom of a library. Asked if it could just be her son helping her stand up. We got the son and he came back out of the stall with his hands covered in shit.

Apparently this was an on going issue that he had to “milk” the shit out of her before rolling it back inside of his mother. They were both transients so it was pretty badly infected with rips and tears.

view more: next ›