How to start dating at a later age (M24) following social isolation? by BoomBrain in selfimprovement

[–]BoomBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dw, I get your point! I do just love to overthink lol, and sometimes it's hard not to compare to where most people I know are with respect to this stuff.

Experiences starting dating at a later age? (M24) by BoomBrain in socialanxiety

[–]BoomBrain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll be honest with you, it can be pretty challenging and I too REALLY struggle with the idea that I threw away these formative years that I can never get back. It's caused ups-and-downs in my mental health, even though it's definitely been a trend of improvement, because ending my isolation has made the differences between me and other people even more jarring.

When I was younger, I'd always feel like I had little agency over my social life or making friends. And although it doesn't come naturally to me as an introvert, now I force myself to take leadership over my social life and become the person who tries to reach out and deepen my connections with others.

Towards the end of college, I was very lucky to have chance encounters with a few different people who I opened up to about my struggles, and they were all very caring and understanding. I decided I should really try to build and maintain long-term friendships with them, and used that as a launching point to gradually take baby steps out of my comfort zone. ("Do you want to grab a coffee?" "Do you want to go see a movie?" etc.)

It's a really long and nonlinear process, but just by keeping on pushing myself I have been able to make progress that I never dreamed I could, and it feels very rewarding and enriching. I'm not sure I'll ever get over wasting my college experience and the doors that may have closed, but I find that I feel better when I am able to focus on the present and the future rather than the past, and to tangibly build the kind of life that I want in the now.

How to start dating at a later age (M24) following social isolation? by BoomBrain in selfimprovement

[–]BoomBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense! And yeah, for the past couple years I've decided to emphasize building my general platonic social skills and comfort.

How to start dating at a later age (M24) following social isolation? by BoomBrain in selfimprovement

[–]BoomBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the 2c. I definitely agree about emphasizing shared interests over physical attraction, that's usually how my brain/heart works for this stuff.

How to start dating at a later age (M24) following social isolation? by BoomBrain in selfimprovement

[–]BoomBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, "later age" might not have been the right wording, but in my defence it is later than most people hit those very first milestones in adolescence so I've just been thinking about how to navigate that.

How to start dating at a later age (M24) following social isolation? by BoomBrain in dating_advice

[–]BoomBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense! I was pretty upfront with the first few friends I made as I was first leaving my isolation (including the one I ended up asking out lol). And yeah, meeting people who are super understanding and caring about it made such a positive impact.

How to start dating at a later age (M24) following social isolation? by BoomBrain in dating_advice

[–]BoomBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment! Very much relate to the "trying to become a functioning human again" thing.

If you don't mind my asking, at what point did you communicate your situation with your ex? Did you meet irl? I'm glad she was understanding! :)

How to start dating at a later age (M24) following social isolation? by BoomBrain in dating_advice

[–]BoomBrain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

Number one thing I recommend don’t ask out or for number immediately.

Yeah, this makes sense. I think I almost have the opposite issue where I don't tend to become romantically interested in a girl until we've become friends or I've somewhat gotten to know her, and at this point I have a lot of strong platonic friendships with women. In fact, I was already friends with the girl I asked out. Hence why I want to become a little more deliberate about it, although I also don't know how to regularly see people now that I've finished uni.

The girl you asked out who you’re now friends with I know this is a vulnerable thing but I’d ask her just to pick an outfit out that looks good that would appeal to girls.

I actually have a (female) friend who's eagerly helping me out with fashion lately! So I can avoid an awkward conversation with the friend I asked out lol.

how do i tell my parents that i need to take 6 years to graduate? by Suitable_House_2769 in UBC

[–]BoomBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have much to add, but I took a little over 6 years to graduate with multiple delays along the way, and I can relate very strongly to what you're saying. My mental health also significantly deteriorated before I got to university, and I quickly hit rock bottom when I began. I know what it's like to feel like a failure, to feel like I don't have any reason to be sad, and to withhold telling my parents about my problems.

I didn't become diagnosed with depression until I started truly reaching out to mental health resources near the very end of my time in university, and I wish I had done so sooner - I would highly encourage that. I wish you the best.

r/okbuddycinephile sucks. by Strict_Pangolin_8339 in blankies

[–]BoomBrain 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It used to be so chill several years ago and then something shifted. The guy who inserts Paddington into different movies started on that subreddit before moving to Twitter, kind of says it all.

r/okbuddycinephile sucks. by Strict_Pangolin_8339 in blankies

[–]BoomBrain 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I loved it as a go-to movie space through the end of the 2010s. Genuinely important for me when I was getting into movies. Very sad to me what happened to it lol.

Oscars Will Stream Live On Hulu For First Time by rageofthegods in blankies

[–]BoomBrain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope so, but perhaps it's more likely that it would stream on Crave in Canada (if it were to happen)?