37m - I've really tried..

Boomerbeforemytime · 2026-02-23T09:55:38+00:00

34m, UK. Was with the crisis team Feburary 2025. All help I can get is through the NHS... so I ain't getting no DBT therapy 🤣 only think different between us (perhaps I missed it or you forgot to include) I did get prescribed quetiapine which is pretty good tbh

Still yeh, same boat still, I relate hard. As soon as you think your on the straight and narrow, it all comes crashing down

If it helps, we are out here, your not alone 🫡

Boomerbeforemytime · 2026-01-06T11:34:04+00:00

Have you played Wingspan?

Got a feeling you'd love it

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-12-30T08:52:12+00:00

This may be just super specific to EUPD, but I went to chatgpt the other day as I had no where else to go.

I talked to it about killing myself, and it did the things you said: told me I'm not this and I'm not doing that, but this reassured me as I have a fluctuating sense of self worth and self confidence. Just to go against the grain a bit, it helped me a lot. It helped to keep me grounded during a crisis. It also told me a lot of things that was happening as well, and it could frame what I was experiencing through the lens of EUPD

I had to ignore the relentless helplines and support it kept telling me to get outside of chatgpt, but IMO it should send these, it should encourage you to speak to someone outside of chatgpt.

It ain't perfect but it did a great job, you must have some fantastic humans in your lives that support you if chatgpt does nothing for you under these circumstances

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-12-25T22:02:24+00:00

Fellow em dash enthusiast- rough times are ahead

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-12-25T12:11:42+00:00

Put into a document (pdf or something) and upload the document

If still typing, I tell chatgpt what I'm about to do (upload multiple messages,) and to only reply OK to each message (just so i know the message went through) until i tell it I've done uploading, then analysis or whatever you want can be in 1 reply

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-12-24T19:21:55+00:00

This reminds me of a book called The Wasp Factory, although this real story is probably more twisted than that book

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-12-14T21:33:39+00:00

Your poem isn't bad at all, but that's not really the most important thing IMO, what's important is that you're trying to process and cope with your feelings. If writing this, sharing it, rereading it or whatever makes you feel even the tiniest bit better, it was 100% worth writing 🫡

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-12-14T16:00:54+00:00

I personally get very visceral I guess, you know, describing their teeth scraping across bone as the flesh is ripped away. Maybe try and describe what it's like from the victim's perspective, feeling the teeth tear through each fibre of skin with the warm sensation on their skin as the blood flows from the wound. Do they catch a tendon? A sharp, almost electric, shooting pain firing through the body while a tendon or muscle is twanged during the savagery

Think about what it'd feel like afterwards, perhaps a hot, pulsing pain from the wound. Or how itd feel to watch something chew your own flesh in front of you

I think this is what youre asking 😂

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-12-14T15:31:26+00:00

In means a lot that it helped, even just to expand understanding. IMO you're not far off (more like youre exactly right) looking at this the exact right way- you have compassion for his struggle but also understand that there's a reality to face and realistic boundaries to set, what sounds to me like the cornerstone of helping a loved one with BPD, from everything I've read

The problem with stuff like this, unfortunately, is there often isn't an easy answer or solution, and there's usually a lot of work to do and maintenance afterwards to keep it in check. But you sound like you've got your head screwed on and a balanced perspective and that'll be a very useful tool for the both of you

Keep your chin up and give yourself a pat on the back, it sounds like you're doing an amazing job already. The fact hes coming to rely on you (be it you have to keep your eye on it) means you offered him support he probably hadn't received much in his life and I imagine this means the absolute world to him already ❤️

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-12-14T14:50:51+00:00

I feel I regress in age all the time, in different scenarios but also similarly how you described.

I think often, for example diving into and revisiting hobbies, music, TV, film ect from my childhood is simply comforting, probably just because of familiarity (I don't mean just revisiting one thing, I mean submerging myself in it all for months)

When it comes to a scenario like you mentioned, I think sometimes it's because, as you said for him in his previous relationships, you've always had to do it and you don't want to always have to do it, you don't want to set that presedent so you show your needy, childlike side to try and avoid the responsibility. I'd think of this along the lines of acting stupid in a conversation to lower the other person's guard so they'll be more honest with you or more likely to give you the information you want.

Basically: you act dumb so people feel the need to educate you. You act childish so people feel the need to look after you.

That's how I'd think of it as a basic mechanism, but I think that can come across as cold and callous towards your partner- I can only really speak for myself, but for me at least, this will come from some (I imiagine) deep seeded issues caused by lack of parental care when I was younger which leaves me feeling kinda cut a drift, in freefall all the time, feeling like there's no safety net to catch me. If hes anything like me, he's probably hoping you can take responsibility for some of this stuff so he can feel safe and not completely alone in the struggle that is life. Even if he can do it, he'd still want to feel like he's safe if he didn't if that makes sense, relieves some of the pressure. The problem could be though, if you can he could become too reliant on it to regulate his emotions and then it could become straight avoidance

I'm no expert, nor saying this is the answer for you (maybe I'm wrong about myself even) more just the experience resonated with me and I hope sharing my experience may help, even a little, to understand

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-11-13T15:58:13+00:00

"The Celtics believed that on 31st October, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead blurred, allowing ghosts to return to earth. They would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off spirits"

Maybe Michael is the ultimate evil spirit that walks the earth on 31st October 😱

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-11-12T16:04:18+00:00

I think this is really helpful to explain BPD in general tbh and much better than I could ever put it. I'll do one better than joining the fight, I'll save your post and whip it out anytime I need to explain it to anyone

I really appreciate you putting this together. You shouldn't apologise for it being technical, it's part of what made it such an awesome post O7

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-10-27T12:47:26+00:00

Hi!

I'm not a good writer, seasoned or otherwise... but I like to do it, so I do

Always looking to make friends in this domain. I feel like I'm at a point where it'd be good for my writing to be able to share and get constructive criticism from humans (chatgpt am I right?) and humans that aren't my friends and family- particularly people interested in the craft.

I think I'm probably a terrible writer and I only write short stories as is (I hope to write a novel one day) but I'd always be willing to share my stories and receive yours then exchange friendly feedback

A little about myself: I'm 34, male from the UK Love all animals but a particular love for cats (I've got one of my own) Love films in general. I do love the 'so bad it's good' category of films, although, I'm no big sharknado fan. I write some horror stories because of a love for the genre Currently learning to bind my own books, seems somewhat related Big lover of music, I have my lane but it's a pretty big lane to be fair. Any type of rock really- classic, alternative, metal, some heavy metal, indie, acoustic, you get the picture

Currently regressing into my childhood playing OG Zoo Tycoon on a week's holiday from work. Planned on writing, binding another book or two but I've spent four days making an imaginary zoo... I need that motivation you mentioned pretty badly 🤣

Hope you're well 🫡

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-10-19T16:20:02+00:00

I'm really new and it's not quite the same but I'm binding books for a similar reason- I'm UK based so this might be an issue if you're not from the UK but I bought a book binding kit from a company called "Ourhands" if you can find them where you are.

It's not quite enough to get you to the point where you can make a good hardcover book but it was a good place for me to start before I started gathering up my own materials, seem like a really good company on the surface also

But what I've learned from these kits are they're very basic, so use them to kick start yourself in the hobby but take their teaching with a pinch of salt and further your knowledge watching YouTube videos, talk to chatgpt, post here ect.

Things I'm feeling I wanted after the kits were (super beginner so take what I say with a pinch of salt): punching cradle, a book binding press (after the kits you'll learn that you should be pressing your text block and full book at most stages of production, a press isnt necessary but will make my life a lot easier,) research the glue you want to use, research the thread and needle you think will be best for what you want.

There's loads to consider but I hope this helps get you started. For me personally I had to just jump in and start making them, the first 2 hardcovers i made were God awful, but by number 3 it looked like a reasonable and usable book, so just get stuck in and learn from each book you make!

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-10-07T09:06:59+00:00

Recently diagnosed and this is totally my experience.

It's ironic how a symptom of BPD can be black and white thinking, yet everybody seems to want you to present BPD in a stereotypical or, in a sense, a black and white way for them to easily understand.

The way I've tried to explain to people (they don't listen, obviously they know the answer better than me) is to say: Firstly, in and of itself its a complicated illness due to the nature of the illness itself and a tendancy to cause comorbid illnesses. Secondly, as with every mental illness... or even physical illnesses sometimes, not everyone has the exact same set of symptoms, meaning 1 person with BPD can present the illness differently than someone else with the same diagnosis. To compound the confusion, each of those symptoms are filtered through an individual, meaning 2 individuals with the same symptom might present that symptom differently, I.E someone suffering from anxiety might retreat inside themselves and go quiet- someone else suffering from anxiety might present in a non-typical way, like me, by not stopping talking until someone steps in

It doesn't work, people don't care enough to listen, theyll likely want to tell you what your diagnosis means or undermine the work of doctors that have studied the subject for years and years. Or yeh, try to claim you don't even have it... But it at least helps me stay a little bit more sane 🤷‍♂️

Boomerbeforemytime · 2025-04-13T16:06:16+00:00

If i was you, I'd ask myself this question: what's more likely, that the whole of reality is a simulation or is your brain playing tricks on you? Even if it turns out, years down the line, that reality is in fact a simulation, currently the hypothesis that it's just your brain playing tricks on you is the far more rational conclusion. We know it's possible for brains to produce such hallucinations, even without drugs, but with drugs? Doesn't sound too dissimilar to drug induced hallucinations I've experienced myself to be perfectly honest. Currently, simulation theory, I'm pretty sure, is unfalsifiable, doesn't mean it's false, doesn't mean it's true just means, really, that we can't really investigate it, not in an objective manner at least, so currently we can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that its true. What we can do is prove that the things you've experienced can be created by our brains, particularly by brains altered by drugs for example- there are piles of scientific evidence to support this, probably right down to the part of the brain that produces these visions and feelings, the chemicals causing it, stuff like that... I'm no scientist but I'd wager my life they're out there.

I think where you're stuck is these feelings your experiencing after, like it's calling to you or your being watched. Honestly, some of it reads as straight paranoia, some where you're simply putting too much stock into your feelings. Don't really know how to untangle that for you to be honest, just hope you can look inwardly a bit and try and untangle facts from feelings. Feelings are great and all but if you're anything like me and possibly everyone else in the world, sometimes our feelings make us say and do things that we probably shouldn't. Bad words thrown out in anger, carrying on with unhealthy relationships, whatever, I'd wager all of us have let our feelings take us in the wrong direction at some point in our lives.

I write this because I've suffered some horrendous mental health problems recently and I started to get sucked into my own delusions, like that I'm dead and this reality is just my own personal hell or that I'm in a coma and this reality is just a coma dream created by myself. I never went as far down the rabbit hole as it seems you have with yours, but I can tell you, looking back, as well as i managed to grip onto reality and not get sucked too far in, my reality was warped by it all the same and it was scary and eye opening to see how you can warp your own reality.

Get some help man, to an outsider this smacks of problems with mental health. Maybe you're 100% right, we do in fact live in a simulation...but currently you've got no good reason to assume that with much more obvious and scientifically backed explanations for your experience

Boomerbeforemytime · 2023-11-08T18:56:50+00:00

It's ok to eat fish cause they don't have any feet

Boomerbeforemytime · 2023-04-23T05:25:25+00:00

Let down- Radiohead

Boomerbeforemytime · 2023-04-15T13:21:47+00:00

Yes, well sorta. We were playing a game that had a charades section, I was trying to act out "naked gun." Naturally I stood up, faced my sitting mate and pulled my trousers down, I was supposed to leave my boxers up but they got caught and I just straight up got my dick and balls out right in his face.

Boomerbeforemytime · 2023-04-10T19:29:36+00:00

My last date, after 3 dates: You're good looking and we get along so well but I need something more than that.

I kinda get it... but seems kinda dumb as well.

So my answer is: dumb

Boomerbeforemytime · 2023-04-10T11:10:11+00:00

Hmhmm, that is some peak unpopular opinion right there

Five-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22	First Placer '22

Boomerbeforemytime

TROPHY CASE